Vent away!

[Meli22]

Hey everyone!

 

Today I'm having a bit of an angry day. I've noticed I never feel sad anymore but mostly angry when I reflect back on my relationship. I think a others may feel the need to rant now and then so I decided to start this thread to let myself vent and others can too

 

I'm angry because:

 

With myself. For putting up with my exes controlling behaviour for so long. Telling me what I shouldn't wear and what I shouldn't do. I was disrespectful if I did.

 

Angry because I was constantly accused of looking at other men, and I was branded a liar if I didn't admit to it. I started to believe I was going crazy and doubted myself.

 

Angry that I never felt good enough, that he made me believe I was nowhere near as good a partner as he was. I started to think I was a horrible person.

 

Angry that he ruined an amazing vacation with his constant accusations and twisted everything round that I believed it was me who ruined the vacation and that I was a bad girlfriend.

 

Angry that he always said i was attention seeking, and I put up with this.

 

Angry that he suddenly decided he wasn't sure about me anymore, after everything I put up with, HE was having reservations.

 

Angry that he kept me hanging like a puppet for 4 months because he couldn't decide about us, all the while he withheld affection and still accused me of checking other men out.

 

 

Angry that he stormed out of my house on my birthday, after being cold and starting an argument about something he pictured in his head (he imagined I checked out guys in the gym, had never seen me in the gym but created this scenario in his head and because I said it's not true, he left). The next day he did not apologise for spoiling my birthday and insisted it was "just another day so who cares".

 

Angry that it always seemed to be me apologising and carrying guilt for things I hadn't done. He told me he thinks he made me a better person, when the truth is I was happy with who I was and didn't feel I needed to change.

 

Angry that HIS feelings changed and mine didn't, after all the s*** I put up with. Angry that he couldn't give me a reason either, that they just did.

 

Angry that it had to be me to walk away because he wouldn't make a decision despite being so cold and doubting his feelings.

 

Angry that he came back wanting to try (I stupidly said ok) and within a week he turned again.

 

Angry because he is probably doing ok (this is just assumption), meeting new girls etc and I feel I'm left picking myself up after everything.

 

 

 

HOWEVER! The positive thing is that I had the courage to walk away from this, and that I am proud of

 

 

That felt good haha! Anybody else feel free to use this thread to vent

[Yummm]

Nice one! Good for you!

 

If anybody wants to know my story it's here and more feedback would be appreciated, but the post from minime13 really put things into perspective for me and made me feel a whole lot better! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/530753-much-appreciated

 

I'm angry at myself for allowing myself to fall for somebody so quick even though I knew that a candle that burns twice as bright burns out twice as fast.

 

I'm angry at her for not being honest with me during the last couple of weeks of our relationship when everything was apparently okay and I had nothing to worry about - communication and honesty is always the key.

[Meli22]

Oh and it angers me (kinda) that I never got an apology, for anything. Even when he knew how much he was hurting me at the end. My conscience would make me apologise to someone I'd hurt.

 

And also, I was never allowed to bring up the issue of his feelings ever, because if I did he'd claim I was making things worse and making his feelings go even more. Even when I'd approached it in a calm, mature way because I wanted to communicate, and he'd admitted if the roles were reversed he'd of left me straight away and would have bombarded me with questions constantly.

Edited May 29, 2015 by Meli22

[foolinlove79]

Im angry that i took him back so many time. That i believe his lies and that he loves me. When really im a plan b and he just comes back becauae he is bored.

 

Im angry that i allowed myself to be used.

 

Im angry that i wasted so much time and energy on him.

 

Im angry i fooled myself into believing he loved and cared for me.

 

Im angry i let myself get so wrapped up in the relationship i stopped doing the things i wanted to do.

[SankeCoffee]

I'm angry that she never once tried to talk about any of the things that were bothering her about the relationship before ending it.

 

I'm angry that I allowed myself to fall so hard for a girl with all the signs that she is a relationship jumper, jumps from one to another.

 

I'm angry that I believed all the times she tell me how much she loved me and how she had been waiting her whole life for me.

 

Mostly I'm angry for putting up with so much of her **** because I loved her, should of dumped her long ago before I let her hurt me like this.

[Meli22]

I'm angry that she never once tried to talk about any of the things that were bothering her about the relationship before ending it.

 

I'm angry that I allowed myself to fall so hard for a girl with all the signs that she is a relationship jumper, jumps from one to another.

 

I'm angry that I believed all the times she tell me how much she loved me and how she had been waiting her whole life for me.

 

Mostly I'm angry for putting up with so much of her **** because I loved her, should of dumped her long ago before I let her hurt me like this.

 

Our exes sound similar in this way. Except mine didn't have any issues with our relationship, he just said the affection part at the end felt less. But he never wanted to be affecfionate anymore - go figure

Edited May 29, 2015 by Meli22

[candie13]

I'm slowly starting to feel grateful. He didn't contact me again after the break up, which makes it immensely easier to move on. Healthy relationship, healthy end. Starting to think all the drama is in my head. Really. Feeling grateful, today.

[Meli22]

I'm slowly starting to feel grateful. He didn't contact me again after the break up, which makes it immensely easier to move on. Healthy relationship, healthy end. Starting to think all the drama is in my head. Really. Feeling grateful, today.

 

Why did it end Candie?

[DexterLS]

I am just angry she used me, lied to me for months while she was sleeping with someone else behind my back.

 

I am angry that she still doesn't think what she did was wrong and I didn't get the closure I needed.

 

I am angry that I tried to make it work despite knowing she cheated on me. I wished I could have undertaken things differently. I am angry at myself for this.

[candie13]

I'm slowly starting to feel grateful. He didn't contact me again after the break up, which makes it immensely easier to move on. Healthy relationship, healthy end. Starting to think all the drama is in my head. Really. Feeling grateful, today.

 

he wanted kids and a house - his def of a family. I wanted marriage, kids and a house. he's not sure he ever wants to remarry and wants kids in the short term. Weird thing is, he didn't even tell me ILY, so he must have thought I'm a decent catch financially and a decent woman to bare his children. Makes me think love is an outdated principle to him. So I left home, slept on it. Got mad and and texted that marriage is a dealbreaker to me & stopped seeing immediately. It's been 16 full days of NC and 11 since I've mailed him his stuff. U think u know a person after 4-5 months... wrong !

 

Anyway, space, the final frontier, haha !

[SankeCoffee]

Our exes sound similar in this way. Except mine didn't have any issues with our relationship, he just said the affection part at the end felt less. But he never wanted to be affecfionate anymore - go figure

 

I don't know if mine had any issues with the relationship, I think we lost the affection and lust for each other. Maybe just got bored with each other.

[Meli22]

I don't know if mine had any issues with the relationship, I think we lost the affection and lust for each other. Maybe just got bored with each other.

 

This is pretty much what happened to us. Like I said, he had no issues, he couldn't pin point what was happening other than the "spark" not feeling as intense. It's easy to get comfortable with people and routines set in and we get bored. I don't believe it's enough to throw a relationship away over though. Everyone is different, my ex said he thinks this will happen in every relationship with him after a while.

[SankeCoffee]

This is pretty much what happened to us. Like I said, he had no issues, he couldn't pin point what was happening other than the "spark" not feeling as intense. It's easy to get comfortable with people and routines set in and we get bored. I don't believe it's enough to throw a relationship away over though. Everyone is different, my ex said he thinks this will happen in every relationship with him after a while.

 

 

This was me and my ex to a tee. Sounds like we are in similar situations except the genders are reversed.

[Meli22]

This was me and my ex to a tee. Sounds like we are in similar situations except the genders are reversed.

 

I believe we are! the funny thing is I remember my ex saying when we first started dating that he hated routine and he believe relationships should always feel passionate and exciting. I don't think he knew that stuff like that takes work, of course it is achievable but realistically once the initial high wears off, we have to work together to keep those special feelings. We got stuck into a routine fixed around his work schedule, we couldn't go out on certain days because those were his "relaxing" days, and he just couldn't do spontaneity and a lot of the things I suggested doing he was never up for. Weekdays and Saturdays were a no-no to going out anywhere. So it really is no wonder he felt things had become stale, he almost let them in a way.