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Yet another indirect contact by dumper via social media


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crazybestie101

I know you guys gonna hate me posting about this but I had to share.

 

Many of you are going to say why didn't you block him and stuff so listen up:

 

Just like last year , he again sent me request on social media. He was already there but i still got notification that i got request from person who is already in my contact list.

 

Now 2 reasons why i didn't block him:

 

1) May be this is only way for him to reach out. May be he feel bad to for treating me bad and has no courage to talk to me. He probably thinks i might have bf so he doesn't want to come in middle.

 

2) Well i still want the lines of communications open, because i still want him. I still want him to see how i have improved in many areas of life and how i have shaped my life. I want him to see how i am at better place in my life right now. If i am going to block him how he would see that. we DONT have mutual friends anymore. And i don't post stuff on my social media so there is no way for him to see.

 

 

Now there is 80 % chance that this attempt is to establish friendship with me.Not sure how i feel about this. The excitement of seeing his attempts is preventing me to realize the pain i can get from this.

 

Also, i don't think this was any machine error, this is real human attempt. This is totally done by him. Many of you might say i am reading bit too much. Not really if it was just once,yeah okay but this is second time.

 

I am not saying that i am just going to break NC but i think soon in near future we might communicate. Until then lets keep playing this social media add game.I am just going to sit and watch this..

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Simon Phoenix

I think you think that if you continue to keep this drama alive that somehow he's going to come running back to you. You stay embroiled in this because you want to stay embroiled in this. It's as simple as that. I think you enjoy it.

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I know you guys gonna hate me posting about this but I had to share.

 

Many of you are going to say why didn't you block him and stuff so listen up:

 

Just like last year , he again sent me request on social media. He was already there but i still got notification that i got request from person who is already in my contact list.

 

Now 2 reasons why i didn't block him:

 

1) May be this is only way for him to reach out. May be he feel bad to for treating me bad and has no courage to talk to me. He probably thinks i might have bf so he doesn't want to come in middle.

 

2) Well i still want the lines of communications open, because i still want him. I still want him to see how i have improved in many areas of life and how i have shaped my life. I want him to see how i am at better place in my life right now. If i am going to block him how he would see that. we DONT have mutual friends anymore. And i don't post stuff on my social media so there is no way for him to see.

 

 

Now there is 80 % chance that this attempt is to establish friendship with me.Not sure how i feel about this. The excitement of seeing his attempts is preventing me to realize the pain i can get from this.

 

Also, i don't think this was any machine error, this is real human attempt. This is totally done by him. Many of you might say i am reading bit too much. Not really if it was just once,yeah okay but this is second time.

 

I am not saying that i am just going to break NC but i think soon in near future we might communicate. Until then lets keep playing this social media add game.I am just going to sit and watch this..

 

So, what's your question?

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crazybestie101
I think you think that if you continue to keep this drama alive that somehow he's going to come running back to you. You stay embroiled in this because you want to stay embroiled in this. It's as simple as that. I think you enjoy it.

 

i didn't go and tell him to send me request , he did it himself.. I don't know why you guys think i would create all this.. I think i should just stop posting..

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Post what you like, but remember that people will respond with their own opinions, which might be different from your own.

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Simon Phoenix
i didn't go and tell him to send me request , he did it himself.. I don't know why you guys think i would create all this.. I think i should just stop posting..

 

You left it open for him to do such a thing and you somehow think it means something. I have been added and added plenty of girls i've dated briefly to social media well after the dating has concluded. Each time it wasn't some epic thing. It's usually just temporary curiousity that is satisfied as soon as the other person hits accept. You look at their page, get caught up, then never think about them again unless they overpost, then you block their feed (I did this to an ex-FWB who would overpost).

 

There's nothing wrong with any of this, but you are clearly still hung up on this guy and overreact to everything he does. Which is why you should have blocked him in the first place.

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ColdandLonelyinAK

If you have no intentions of blocking him, yet you sit there and get some sense of satisfaction from him trying to add you, then yes you do enjoy drama. It's a little petty, tbh. Like you're trying to make him "suffer".

 

A FB friend request means nothing. I've added guys from my past and it amounted to nothing except for a quick "hey" and a couple of likes on some meme I posted.

 

If this guy truly wanted to be back in your life, a denied friend request on two different occasions wouldn't stop him.

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I know you guys gonna hate me posting about this but I had to share.

 

Now there is 80 % chance that this attempt is to establish friendship with me.Not sure how i feel about this. The excitement of seeing his attempts is preventing me to realize the pain i can get from this.

 

 

But there will be pain... trust me... don't open doors once firmly closed - the air is cold and its dark once the fire has gone out.

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crazybestie101
You left it open for him to do such a thing and you somehow think it means something. I have been added and added plenty of girls i've dated briefly to social media well after the dating has concluded. Each time it wasn't some epic thing. It's usually just temporary curiousity that is satisfied as soon as the other person hits accept. You look at their page, get caught up, then never think about them again unless they overpost, then you block their feed (I did this to an ex-FWB who would overpost).

 

There's nothing wrong with any of this, but you are clearly still hung up on this guy and overreact to everything he does. Which is why you should have blocked him in the first place.

 

Yes i am still hung up but i clearly know that this is nothing but "lets be friends", i have mentioned that in my post. With this guy if i block him then there is nothing. He wouldn't go out of his way to reach out even if he want me in his life.

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Simon Phoenix
Yes i am still hung up but i clearly know that this is nothing but "lets be friends", i have mentioned that in my post. With this guy if i block him then there is nothing. He wouldn't go out of his way to reach out even if he want me in his life.

 

I don't think it's even that. I think it's more curiousity that will die once it's satisfied. And you already have nothing. If you actually block him, maybe you'll recover instead of stubbornly trying to hold on to this fantasy.

 

I just don't really see the upside of you trying to keep this door open. He knows how to find you and the last time he talked to you, you drove several hours to drop in on him. He knows you'll be receptive if he ever chooses to go there.

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Most people who add you on FB do it to see your profile. I've done that myself because I wanted to look at someone's profile. Last year, I had an ex from 10 years ago try to add me as a FB friend because he wanted to hook up.

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crazybestie101
I don't think it's even that. I think it's more curiousity that will die once it's satisfied. And you already have nothing. If you actually block him, maybe you'll recover instead of stubbornly trying to hold on to this fantasy.

 

I just don't really see the upside of you trying to keep this door open. He knows how to find you and the last time he talked to you, you drove several hours to drop in on him. He knows you'll be receptive if he ever chooses to go there.

 

May be i was bit feeling good about contact, but was aware of reality all along. I don't know how to explain i don't live on fantasy world. i have always mentioned in many of my post that i know this guy does want nothing but friendship from me. . Its been year i was unblocked by him everywhere. If i wanted i would have messaged him long ago. I didn't so now he is curious. And if he still think i would drive for him again, then he is mistaking. I made my mistake and i would never ever repeat it.. You know after reading everyone response i think i just don't want to reopen any of this drama.

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crazybestie101
Most people who add you on FB do it to see your profile. I've done that myself because I wanted to look at someone's profile. Last year, I had an ex from 10 years ago try to add me as a FB friend because he wanted to hook up.

 

It wasn't via FB, its by messanger where we used to communicate most of time. He would never add me on facebook , i remember he told me he wants keep me only in his messanger list. Because he doesn't want me to see the new girls he would talk to.

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crazybestie101
If you have no intentions of blocking him, yet you sit there and get some sense of satisfaction from him trying to add you, then yes you do enjoy drama. It's a little petty, tbh. Like you're trying to make him "suffer".

 

A FB friend request means nothing. I've added guys from my past and it amounted to nothing except for a quick "hey" and a couple of likes on some meme I posted.

 

If this guy truly wanted to be back in your life, a denied friend request on two different occasions wouldn't stop him.

 

Its not on FB but via messanger. And this is not kind of guy who would go out of his way to get a hold of you if you block him. He would think you are done with him and he would move on even though he would want you in his life. Dumper going out of his/ her way to get hold of you doesn't always happen , totally depend on person. This guy is not one of them. Most dumper would move on if their dumpee blocked them.

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foolinlove79

I dont know how ex's can be friends. I really dont. Maybe years down the track. But it seems like you wont fully move forward with your life if you are friends with him. You hold out hope. If you agreed to be friends would you be ok hearing about his other relationships? I know i wouldnt.

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ColdandLonelyinAK
Its not on FB but via messanger. And this is not kind of guy who would go out of his way to get a hold of you if you block him. He would think you are done with him and he would move on even though he would want you in his life. Dumper going out of his/ her way to get hold of you doesn't always happen , totally depend on person. This guy is not one of them. Most dumper would move on if their dumpee blocked them.

 

I know you want this all to mean something, and I know how it feels to have that excitement when an ex tries to reach out. Believe me, I really do. It doesn't matter if it's FB or messenger. You're still playing a game and his reaching out could be nothing more than trying to play games with you as well and stroke his ego,

 

Just don't buy into it. Ignore all attempts from him, no matter how good it feels. You've already admitted you know you could wind up getting hurt.

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Its not on FB but via messanger. And this is not kind of guy who would go out of his way to get a hold of you if you block him. He would think you are done with him and he would move on even though he would want you in his life. Dumper going out of his/ her way to get hold of you doesn't always happen , totally depend on person. This guy is not one of them. Most dumper would move on if their dumpee blocked them.

 

The thing is, who wants a guy who won't make every effort to reconcile and to make up for lost ground, if he was in the wrong in the first place?

 

Why settle or keep your hopes up for some lame a-- like this?

 

He's not worth it. It's a stupid FB add. No effort. Think about why you broke up. I don't know the story but if he caused you pain, think about what's going on here. He's keeping you dangling on a string, leaving you all excited from a simple 'add.' That's like a call without leaving a voicemail, a text with no follow up phone call if you don't respond, one knock at the door and walking away if no one were to answer. It's lame as hell, and why you're getting all hype is beyond me. Okay... so it's not really beyond me. I mean, I think anyone would feel a little skip in their heart (maybe) if their ex threw a little crumb their way like this. However, it's not worth consideration and not worth any effort from you.

 

The fact that you say 'this is not the guy who would get a hold of you if you blocked him' proves that he's not worth an ounce of your attention. Believe it or not, there are guys who would move mountains for the woman they love.

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crazybestie101
The thing is, who wants a guy who won't make every effort to reconcile and to make up for lost ground, if he was in the wrong in the first place?

 

Why settle or keep your hopes up for some lame a-- like this?

 

He's not worth it. It's a stupid FB add. No effort. Think about why you broke up. I don't know the story but if he caused you pain, think about what's going on here. He's keeping you dangling on a string, leaving you all excited from a simple 'add.' That's like a call without leaving a voicemail, a text with no follow up phone call if you don't respond, one knock at the door and walking away if no one were to answer. It's lame as hell, and why you're getting all hype is beyond me. Okay... so it's not really beyond me. I mean, I think anyone would feel a little skip in their heart (maybe) if their ex threw a little crumb their way like this. However, it's not worth consideration and not worth any effort from you.

 

The fact that you say 'this is not the guy who would get a hold of you if you blocked him' proves that he's not worth an ounce of your attention. Believe it or not, there are guys who would move mountains for the woman they love.

 

Exactly, what i needed to hear!

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crazybestie101
I dont know how ex's can be friends. I really dont. Maybe years down the track. But it seems like you wont fully move forward with your life if you are friends with him. You hold out hope. If you agreed to be friends would you be ok hearing about his other relationships? I know i wouldnt.

 

Yeah , i know. I never thought of being his friend..

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foolinlove79
Yeah , i know. I never thought of being his friend..

 

I should really change my number. My ex always reappears months later and its bad for me. claims he wants to be friends but i always get sucked back in. Friends is baaaaddddd

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crazybestie101
I should really change my number. My ex always reappears months later and its bad for me. claims he wants to be friends but i always get sucked back in. Friends is baaaaddddd

 

Why go through hassle of changing number, just block him! When my ex broke up , he said i hope one day we can be friends. I told him i never stay friends with ex's, once we are done its done for forever. Everytime we had argument after break up he would bring up "friends statement", then remind how i will never give him friendship. I still stand for that. I hope you stay NC if your ex reach out for friendship. Thank you for your response and good luck to you.

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