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It won't get better


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Recently things ended with my girlfriend of 8 months. I didn't feel a thing. I thought I was in love, but... I don't care. I really don't. Our relationship just feels lika a big blur.

 

As you may or may not have noticed, I haven't been around lately. That's because I'm no longer obsessed with my ex of 7 years who dumped me about 1.5 years ago.

 

I've flirted with literally hundreds of women since then. And I got the one I wanted.

 

But it's just not the same anymore. The fairytale is ruined. Women have been reduced to pure objects in my mind. I push the right buttons and good things happen. I push the right button and I lose.

 

I wanted to believe in the concept of love so badly, but I can't do it anymore. It's been 1.5 years and I would never, and I mean NEVER, take her back. I can meet even hotter women who haven't stabbed me in the back (yet). But I can't seem to care deeply about women anymore.

 

I'm so jealous... Not of my replacement, because he will most likely experience the same **** himself sooner or later.. but of her. Maybe she checked out of the relationship months later. But still. She was able to replace me. Jumped straight to a new guy within a few weeks.

 

The funny thing is that she was the cling one while we still were together. She was always talked about how afraid she was that I would leave her. But yet she could replace me instantly, while I'm still struggling...

 

I'm trying so badly. I'm meeting tons of new women, I focus on my hobbies, I work out, I hang out with my friends... But nothing is fun anymore. I have no dreams left.

 

So don't get your hopes up. Don't believe things will get better. At least not all the time. Some people will mess you up for good. Once you find out Santa Claus isn't real, you can never believe in him again. Christmas may still be fun, but it will never be the same.

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Once you find out Santa Claus isn't real, you can never believe in him again. Christmas may still be fun, but it will never be the same.

 

 

Omg.. what?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seriously though; I can understand where you're coming from, I've thought about it aswell.

 

 

Just wanted to say that I understand, no real advice tho.

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If you're not happy with your life, change it.

 

If you're not happy being who you are, change that.

 

Change.

 

That's the price of happiness.

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If you're not happy with your life, change it.

 

If you're not happy being who you are, change that.

 

Change.

 

That's the price of happiness.

 

Yeah. That's what she did. She wasn't happy, so she replaced me and got new friends. I'm sure this works out for a lot of people, but I'm not one of them.

 

Because it all makes perfect sense. We didn't have a child together. When she left me, I was rather depressed and my social status was much lower than when we met. Survival of the fittest. In nature...

 

...Having sex for 7 years without getting her pregnant might indicate that I'm impotent

...Having a low social value means I'm not very good at protecting her

...Mating with a bigger, stronger male with a high social status means increased odds of generating strong offsprings

 

This is pretty much science. For a women, there's really no benefit of staying with a weak male if she can get someone stronger (as long as she can trust him).

 

So when you suggest I change, you basically mean that I should start living in denial. And trust me, I've thought about it many times. But I just can't do it.

 

I guess I could work hard to become that strong dude with high social status. But the whole concept of love is still ruined. There's no way I can believe in it anymore.

Edited by Kevin_D
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Yeah. That's what she did. She wasn't happy, so she replaced me and got new friends. I'm sure this works out for a lot of people, but I'm not one of them.

 

Because it all makes perfect sense. We didn't have a child together. When she left me, I was rather depressed and my social status was much lower than when we met. Survival of the fittest. In nature...

 

...Having sex for 7 years without getting her pregnant might indicate that I'm impotent

...Having a low social value means I'm not very good at protecting her

...Mating with a bigger, stronger male with a high social status means increased odds of generating strong offsprings

 

This is pretty much science. For a women, there's really no benefit of staying with a weak male if she can get someone stronger (as long as she can trust him).

 

So when you suggest I change, you basically mean that I should start living in denial. And trust me, I've thought about it many times. But I just can't do it.

 

I guess I could work hard to become that strong dude with high social status. But the whole concept of love is still ruined. There's no way I can believe in it anymore.

How does having little social interection equal no protection in biology?

First thing I would think about is being muscular. And you can change that without living in denial!

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sober and dry

Kevin_D trust me when I say once, I was there too... It was pretty bad...

I was doing exactly what you are doing. Meeting and dating a ton of girls, living self-centered in my world. Didn't felt sh*t for them.

Everybody around me would think that I was having the time of my life but in fact I wasn't. I was feeling just like you say, nothing and nobody would make me happy. I spent a lot of years in this mood, after all I had nothing to show for. In the end, all I saw was a kind of denying...

It got to a point were everyone around me would spend time with me just because of my apparently "good vibe" and bad mouth me in the back. Heck, even today some of those people still see me the same way, some 10 years after...

Eventually I stopped that kind of behavior and another Santa mom appeared in my life and Xmas was even better then before. Until then it was just wasted time and people hurt...

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So when you suggest I change, *you basically mean that I should start living in denial.

 

 

No, I don't mean that you should start living in denial.

 

I think you are in denial already.

 

Denial of the fact that your choices put you where you are, which is believing that you are the victim of perfidious women, and a cruel world.

 

You don't like yourself, and you don't like your life, so change.

 

Change.

 

If you're incapable of change, just carry on as you are.

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No, I don't mean that you should start living in denial.

 

I think you are in denial already.

 

Denial of the fact that your choices put you where you are, which is believing that you are the victim of perfidious women, and a cruel world.

 

You don't like yourself, and you don't like your life, so change.

 

Change.

 

If you're incapable of change, just carry on as you are.

I love how you put so much value in change, as do I. :laugh:

 

Listen to Satu!

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Kevin_D trust me when I say once, I was there too... It was pretty bad...

I was doing exactly what you are doing. Meeting and dating a ton of girls, living self-centered in my world. Didn't felt sh*t for them.

Everybody around me would think that I was having the time of my life but in fact I wasn't. I was feeling just like you say, nothing and nobody would make me happy. I spent a lot of years in this mood, after all I had nothing to show for. In the end, all I saw was a kind of denying...

It got to a point were everyone around me would spend time with me just because of my apparently "good vibe" and bad mouth me in the back. Heck, even today some of those people still see me the same way, some 10 years after...

Eventually I stopped that kind of behavior and another Santa mom appeared in my life and Xmas was even better then before. Until then it was just wasted time and people hurt...

 

Thank you, that's what I needed to hear. My "friends" probably think I'm quite happy, and only recently I've realised that they don't really seem to care.

 

I've read a lot about this. I need to understand myself and why I am feeling this way. As a child, I was very insecure. I always thought I was different, that I would never have a girlfriend. But I worked hard to become more confident and girls started to become attracted to me.

 

I had a couple of relationships that lasted a year or two. Though I was devastated when they ended, I neve really felt that we were a match made in heaven. After a while, I always realised that the breakup was probably for the best. Even though they hurt me badly, I still wish them happiness.

 

Then I met "the one". I thought she was perfect in every single way. Smart, stunningly beuatiful. You know, the kind of woman who everybody thought was way out of my league. And she seemed so loyal. To the end, she would always defend me if someone said something bad about me.

 

But after 7 years, she discarded. Replaced me immediately and started making fun of me. And my family and friends said:

 

"It was all an act. She fooled us all. She was never the one you believed her to be."

 

So not only did I lose the girl of my dreams. I've also come to realise that she never existed... That she tricked me for 7 years. Not only did I lose my future... I lost my past as well. Because everything I believed to be love was just a big fat lie.

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Quiet Storm

You will be OK. Please don't judge all women by your experience with her. Eight months is nothing in the grand scheme of things. It really is just a few pages in the book of your life...not even a full chapter. For real.

 

Many women get a new guy right away for the purpose of getting over the old one. There is a saying, the only way to get over a guy is to get under a new one. The circumstances still suck, but don't think her behavior means you weren't important to her.

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sober and dry

I feel and have felt the same but I learned something very precious the first time around. You know what? It's time to forget all the bad sh*t, and I really mean, forget, and start to rebuild from the ground with the best foundation you can.

Yes I don't know what this means to your particular case, damn not even in my case, what I know is that this is the best way to go, so I won't stop until I have done it. Do the same and someday you will be able to feel the happiness all around you again, but bare in mind that this is a long way ;)

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You will be OK. Please don't judge all women by your experience with her. Eight months is nothing in the grand scheme of things. It really is just a few pages in the book of your life...not even a full chapter. For real.

 

Many women get a new guy right away for the purpose of getting over the old one. There is a saying, the only way to get over a guy is to get under a new one. The circumstances still suck, but don't think her behavior means you weren't important to her.

 

I realise I could have made things clearer in my first post... I was with a women for 7 years. I grieved for 6 months and then started meeting tons of new women. I then dated a new girl for 8 months who I thought I was in love with, but when things ended, I didn't feel a thing. I had become completely numb. And that's what scared me.

 

I want to care. I want to do romantic stuff. I want to marry someone. I want to believe. But... It feels like I can't do it anymore. I've battled my cynicism for 15 years now, but everytime I start believing, I get hurt big time.

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sober and dry
Many women get a new guy right away for the purpose of getting over the old one. There is a saying, the only way to get over a guy is to get under a new one. The circumstances still suck, but don't think her behavior means you weren't important to her.

Sorry Quiet Storm but what you say here makes me... So my ex was soooooo important to me that I had to get under the next ASAP so I can get over it? How can that be a good reason for someone to believe that the ex cared about them?!

Naa... In my book that's just a huge lake of character and maybe even some self-respect (maybe even more but you can guess it).

I can be wrong but I have done it too and that was what I found out later.

Just to finish, many women and man do it and for that to be a saying it's because this is a common behaviour and that's just sad. If that's the majority of the people or not i guess it just depends on the people on your "surroundings".

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I feel and have felt the same but I learned something very precious the first time around. You know what? It's time to forget all the bad sh*t, and I really mean, forget, and start to rebuild from the ground with the best foundation you can.

Yes I don't know what this means to your particular case, damn not even in my case, what I know is that this is the best way to go, so I won't stop until I have done it. Do the same and someday you will be able to feel the happiness all around you again, but bare in mind that this is a long way ;)

 

You know what the worst part is? My friends were so jealous of me because I had found her. They would never say it, but I know that deep inside they thought:

 

"It was about time. He had been happy for 7 years while we were struggling. Now it's his time to feel what it's like to be lonely."

 

Actually, they give me some clues, because the sometime say stuff like:

 

"Geeez, it must really suck to know that you lost a girl who was perfect in every single way!"

 

Also, I tried to focus on my music, but it seems so pointless, because even my closest friends won't spend 3 minutes listening to my songs, even if I ask them to...

 

It would be so easy for me to say "They're bad friends. I'll meet new people." But I understand them, because everytime I see them happy with their girlfriends, it reminds me of my own loneliness. And it makes me understand how my relationship made them feel.

Edited by Kevin_D
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sober and dry
You know what the worst part is? My friends were so jealous of me because I had found her. They would never say it, but I know that deep inside they thought:

 

"It was about time. He had been happy for 7 years while we were struggling. Now it's his time to feel what it's like to be lonely."

 

Actually, they give me some clues, because the sometime say stuff like:

 

"Geeez, it must really suck to know that you lost a girl who was perfect in every single way!"

 

Also, I tried to focus on my music, but it seems so pointless, because even my closest friends won't spend 3 minutes listening to my songs, even if I ask them to...

 

It would be so easy for me to say "They're bad friends. I'll meet new people." But I understand them, because everytime I see them happy with their girlfriends, it reminds me of my own loneliness. And it makes me understand how my relationship made them feel.

Man that's just projection all over the place and so it doesn't mean nothing.

And best of all they are wrong, (you probably know it so it's just a reminder), there is nobody "perfect in every single way" there are just good combinations, so there are countless possible good combinations.

Focus on your music because it's good for you, even if nobody wants to hear it, it's your self expression in a way. Your closest friends should be able to be honest with you, but if they can't it doesn't mean they are bad friends.

The take away here is you can improve and/or change all of this in many, many ways, even your RS with your friends (and probably this would be a great first goal right now).

You started this topic by saying "That's because I'm no longer obsessed with my ex of 7 years who dumped me about 1.5 years ago." but you seem to still arbor some "hard" feelings from her wouldn't you say? Be honest to yourself, committee to yourself and the changes you can and want to make, nothing more and one step at a time. Life is short but it was time for it all you know, in the end it's all done ;)

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I trusted her like I've never trusted another person - not even my parents. Yes, we had our ups and downs, but I never doubted her feelings for me. Not a single day. And for a cynic like myself, that's something rather unique. So if she could stab me in the back after seven years... how on earth will I be able to trust another woman?

 

Yes... I've read plenty of stories about guys who after a long time met new women and lived happily ever after. But these stories usually have one thing in common... age.

 

As women get older, they get less options. After 30, the tables are turned. A successful 40 year old dude can date women in their early 20's. Women, however, suddenly become much more careful.

 

But I'm not looking for that. I don't want a girlfriend who is through with dating bad boys. I don't want a girlfriend who stays with me because she's no longer getting the same amount of attention. No, I want the 25-year old girl who has thousands of options, but chooses to stay with me because after all, I'm her best friend.

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We got dumped at around the same time and I am still struggling a lot too.

 

I can relate to some of what you have said.. I have met a lot of men but I feel like he was the one, none of the others interest me.

 

However..

 

...Having sex for 7 years without getting her pregnant might indicate that I'm impotent

...Having a low social value means I'm not very good at protecting her

...Mating with a bigger, stronger male with a high social status means increased odds of generating strong offsprings

 

This is pretty much science. For a women, there's really no benefit of staying with a weak male if she can get someone stronger (as long as she can trust him).

 

I guess I could work hard to become that strong dude with high social status. But the whole concept of love is still ruined. There's no way I can believe in it anymore.

 

These things do not determine your worth, at least they shouldn't.. to you, women, your friends or anyone else. This is superficial BS. If people don't like it, the problem lies with them. It's the 21st century, I personally don't need a man with muscles to protect me. I guess 21st century living throws all that "nature" and "science" crap out the window.

 

Are you saying that your friends were jealous of your happiness and are happy that you are now unhappy? Well they're not friends. Most of my friends were crap during the breakup too, very unhelpful. So I stuck around here, and tried to make new ones.

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frigginlost
Recently things ended with my girlfriend of 8 months. I didn't feel a thing. I thought I was in love, but... I don't care. I really don't. Our relationship just feels lika a big blur.

 

As you may or may not have noticed, I haven't been around lately. That's because I'm no longer obsessed with my ex of 7 years who dumped me about 1.5 years ago.

 

I've flirted with literally hundreds of women since then. And I got the one I wanted.

 

But it's just not the same anymore. The fairytale is ruined. Women have been reduced to pure objects in my mind. I push the right buttons and good things happen. I push the right button and I lose.

 

I wanted to believe in the concept of love so badly, but I can't do it anymore. It's been 1.5 years and I would never, and I mean NEVER, take her back. I can meet even hotter women who haven't stabbed me in the back (yet). But I can't seem to care deeply about women anymore.

 

I'm so jealous... Not of my replacement, because he will most likely experience the same **** himself sooner or later.. but of her. Maybe she checked out of the relationship months later. But still. She was able to replace me. Jumped straight to a new guy within a few weeks.

 

The funny thing is that she was the cling one while we still were together. She was always talked about how afraid she was that I would leave her. But yet she could replace me instantly, while I'm still struggling...

 

I'm trying so badly. I'm meeting tons of new women, I focus on my hobbies, I work out, I hang out with my friends... But nothing is fun anymore. I have no dreams left.

 

So don't get your hopes up. Don't believe things will get better. At least not all the time. Some people will mess you up for good. Once you find out Santa Claus isn't real, you can never believe in him again. Christmas may still be fun, but it will never be the same.

 

Wow, dude. That's some deep sh*t.

 

And you know what? I'm 47 years old and in the exact same place. I had a wife walk out on me after 17 years, and while we are still good friends, it crushed my belief in "forever".

 

But, I fought to recover. Found a girl who I really thought I was going to re-marry with. I fought with it, and fought with it, but decided that I needed to lower my walls, and take another chance.

 

And 3 months after I did so... she cheated on me.

 

I am truly, truly, truly, fighting hatred at her and my disgust in women in general. And before anyone jumps down my throat, I know it is wrong to lump all women together like that, but that's a males mind at work.

 

And when a female herself says a few posts back that some women believe the way to get over one, is by getting under another, guys like me (loyal and honest) tend to zone in on the disgust in that type of behavior and build walls even higher...

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Wow, dude. That's some deep sh*t.

 

And you know what? I'm 47 years old and in the exact same place. I had a wife walk out on me after 17 years, and while we are still good friends, it crushed my belief in "forever".

 

But, I fought to recover. Found a girl who I really thought I was going to re-marry with. I fought with it, and fought with it, but decided that I needed to lower my walls, and take another chance.

 

And 3 months after I did so... she cheated on me.

 

I am truly, truly, truly, fighting hatred at her and my disgust in women in general. And before anyone jumps down my throat, I know it is wrong to lump all women together like that, but that's a males mind at work.

 

And when a female herself says a few posts back that some women believe the way to get over one, is by getting under another, guys like me (loyal and honest) tend to zone in on the disgust in that type of behavior and build walls even higher...

 

Agreed with the bold text.

I'm sorry... ****'s that's happened to you really sucks. My situation is nothing compared to yours. Keep going! You guys are strong for coming tis far.

 

 

Edit: When my sister cheated on her now EX-bf of 3.5 years, I was disgusted with her and even puked at a bar because of her. lmfao. Took a long time for ME to forgive her for what she's done with her ex. But I really agree with the quoted post.

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Dear Kevin_D,

 

I have read a couple of your threads and many of your posts, I have to say that you are a person who is very considerate and compassionate, takes other peoples feelings in account and usually pours everything in the relationship to give it your best shot from your end. These are strong characteristics that attract many females towards you and a woman who knows what she wants and is matured up, you are likely the candidate they want to settle with for the rest of their lives.

 

You are going through a very tough time right now. There are 2 reasons for it, the first and biggest reason is that your Ex Girlfriend of 7 years threw what you guys had out of the window to persue a relationship with whoever she had in her mind and left you alone to pick up the pieces. As in ending the relationship with you wasn't enough, she further stabbed you by showing up her new fling and posting it on the facebook like it's the best thing ever for her and she's definitely confident in her decision, which in retrospect let your selfesteem go down to the bottom.

 

You wanted to pick yourself back up, you wanted to do whatever it takes to get it out of that situation. You got the usual advice that is offered throughout this forum, which is go immediate No Contact with her, delete her from everywhere, don't let her back into your life, reiniate contacts with your friends and family, talk with the opposite gender and make her regret what she's missing by having a good life and yadda yadda.

 

Here's the thing Kevin, these advices are good to a extent that you should cut ties with your Ex, make plans with your friends and family, exercise, read books etc, they are all good, but lets be honest, they are all distractions that prevent you from facing the matter at hand.

 

If after 7 years you got over your Ex within a year or two, I would have to say that she either didn't mean that much to you or you weren't that interested in her anyway, which of course is not the case. You loved someone Kevin, for 7 years you were together with her. You guys shared everything together, it can't just disappear within a blink of an eye, yes your Ex Girlfriend replaced you and is putting an act to show you how this is the best thing that happened to her, but trust me the thoughts you are having right now, increase that amount by 10x, that's what she's feeling, but instead of facing those feelings, she's using all the distractions as she can get in order not to face it. But trust me on this one, once the honeymoon phase is over with this guy, whether it be a year or two or three, you would definitely hear back from her, even if you don't, I can assure you that you would be definitely on her mind, whether she expresses her regret or not, or keeps silent about the whole thing, doesn't mean she has forgotten about you or don't regret what has happened.

 

The reason you are feeling depressed again, which has reached the point that you feel numb is because despite of doing your best, your second relationships didn't work out and now you are having similar thoughts resurfacing when your first breakup occured with your Ex Girlfriend of 7 years, you have been hurt by it so much that you have gone completely numb.

 

Here's the thing Kevin, after 7 years together, you need some time on your own to get yourself back together (this applies to your Ex Girlfriend too). You need to spend time with yourself, look at things and say "look, I poured my best into the relationship, despite of my best efforts, these girls still ended up hurting me, I think I deserve the same amount of respect and love that I've shared in the relationships and I deserve to be loved equally".

 

Kevin my friend, you will get out of this depression, there is a reason why people say that there is a light at the end of a tunnel. But if you stop dead at your tracks and begin to question by saying "I have come this far, I don't see any light, whats the point beside of me putting my best effort to move forward, I think I should stop", the worse thing you can do is to stop by coming this far, you won't see the light unless you keep walking.

 

Slow and steady wins the race, keep taking steps forward, whenever the life knocks you down, you stand back up. Every famous sports person you know, has a very hard life behind them, they have sustained injuries and through these injuries and overcoming their obstacles, they have become the people we love the most. Remember the famous author of the "Harry Potter" series? J.K Rowling? Her first husband left her, she was left alone with a child, she wasn't doing financally well either, in one of her interviews she told that she has to walk back and forth in her apartment quickly with a baby to keep themselves warm, because there was no radiator and she didn't had the money to afford one either. But look where she is now, succesful books lined up, her books made into movies, doing financially better. The thing is, everything in life takes time, shortcuts in life never work out in the long run, there is no easy way to success, you have to take the long and hard road.

 

Kevin buddy, you don't see it right now, but I can tell you one thing, if you don't set time on healing and take as much time as you need in order to heal yourself, you would be going far in life, woman would rather have a gentleman instead of a bad boy who treats them crappy, girls who chose badboys set their bars very low, not every female is the same, you will find the correct one in due time (whether it be your Ex who comes back to you or someone else). Make your best of the every situation Kevin, you will bounce back one day, when would that day be? I can't tell you that, but I can tell you this, once you do, there would be no stopping you and you would be going higher in life and climbing the ladder of success.

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What I don't get is why you were with someone for 8 months and not felt anything?!

 

She was a rebound, his heart is still with his ex.

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What I don't get is why you were with someone for 8 months and not felt anything?!

 

Precisely what my ex did to me, leaving me in this crappy state. He "really liked" me but nothing more as he was madly in love with the ex.. unbeknownst to me!

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Thank you Holmes for your kind words. It really means a lot to me. You told me exactly what I needed to hear.

 

I think you might be right about my last relationship. I didn't care about her as deeply as I cared about my ex, but yet, her behaviour made all the memories come back. This girl is clearly a BPD case. I actually figured it out quite early on, because of the idealization; Her ex boyfriend was abusive, I was the only one who understood her, she had been molested as a child, raped two times, her father was a crackhead, yada yada yada...

 

While some of this probably is true, it became obvious that her would stories changed over time. One day her ex was a terrible person who cheated on her, but she didn't even care because she felt nothing for him. A few weeks later she would claim that she loved him deeply and that leaving him was the hardest decision of her life.

 

Anyway... I've read that this often becomes a pattern. My ex of 7 years (who comes from a family with a ridiculous amount of mental illnesses) hurt me so badly, that I didn't care about other people until someone who basically worshipped me showed up. The problem is that BPD's use this as a tactic to gain control over people like me. So I end up with a new girl who have the issues as the old one.

 

At least I know how to protect myself. But here's the thing. I have no energy and no self-confidence left. I would actually consider myself a rather talented individual, but it seems that I fail at EVERYTHING right now. I have no good place to live, I have no career, I'm unhappy with my friends. I've been trying tons of things and worked really hard to turn things around, but it's seems that I get nothing for free right now. Yes, I know that I should believe in myself no matter what and don't let other peoples opinions define my value. But it's getting really hard to love myself when I fail all the time.

 

And then I look myself in the mirror and say: "She did the right thing. I'm a complete failure".

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Recently things ended with my girlfriend of 8 months. I didn't feel a thing. I thought I was in love, but... I don't care. I really don't. Our relationship just feels lika a big blur.

 

As you may or may not have noticed, I haven't been around lately. That's because I'm no longer obsessed with my ex of 7 years who dumped me about 1.5 years ago.

 

I've flirted with literally hundreds of women since then. And I got the one I wanted.

 

But it's just not the same anymore. The fairytale is ruined. Women have been reduced to pure objects in my mind. I push the right buttons and good things happen. I push the right button and I lose.

 

I wanted to believe in the concept of love so badly, but I can't do it anymore. It's been 1.5 years and I would never, and I mean NEVER, take her back. I can meet even hotter women who haven't stabbed me in the back (yet). But I can't seem to care deeply about women anymore.

 

I'm so jealous... Not of my replacement, because he will most likely experience the same **** himself sooner or later.. but of her. Maybe she checked out of the relationship months later. But still. She was able to replace me. Jumped straight to a new guy within a few weeks.

 

The funny thing is that she was the cling one while we still were together. She was always talked about how afraid she was that I would leave her. But yet she could replace me instantly, while I'm still struggling...

 

I'm trying so badly. I'm meeting tons of new women, I focus on my hobbies, I work out, I hang out with my friends... But nothing is fun anymore. I have no dreams left.

 

So don't get your hopes up. Don't believe things will get better. At least not all the time. Some people will mess you up for good. Once you find out Santa Claus isn't real, you can never believe in him again. Christmas may still be fun, but it will never be the same.

 

First, don't try so hard. You can't MAKE it happen. Second, the average person falls in love 4 times in their life... measured from the age of about 15 until they die. That's a damn long time in most cases, and if you die at 80, that's every 16 years or so. When you're young, it happens more often, but it still doesn't happen all that often.

 

So let love go. You can't go find it. It finds you.

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