Thecondor1991 Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 So its been like a little over a week since my ex and I split. The first couple of days were absolute hell. I cried, I felt lost, confused, and angry with myself, I wondered why she hadnt text or called me, and wondered if she was thinking about me. My questions finally got answered when she came over and I was forced to break Nc. She basically said that she was missing me and crying every day. She asked if she could just hug me, and I let her. One thing lead to another and we ended up having sex. It was the best and most passionate sex I have ever had. But a day or two after that I started feeling guilty because I knew that it meant nothing. She asked me if I was cool just being friends. I'm not. So I decided to get away for a couple days. She's text me twice. I haven't text back. I've spent the last couple days at the beach clearing my head. I'm going home tomorrow and I'm sure I'll see her. It still hurts, I still think about her constantly, but I don't feel like I'm going to cry anymore, and I feel like this pain won't last forever. Just thought I'd let you guys know how I was doing. Link to post Share on other sites
kturner16 Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 I know how difficult this can be. I'm also going through a very difficult split from my ex boyfriend. We also ended up having sex when I went to Cali to spend spring break with him (bought the tix before we ended things) and it changed absolutely nothing for us. He still didn't want to try and fix things so I had to sit and accept the fact that I had sex with him but it probably didn't mean much. My advice to you is to go into no contact which means do not speak to her at all. This is going to be very difficult and easier said than done but it helps. It gives you both more time to clear your heads and figure out what you both want, especially her (I'm assuming she broke up with you?). Do not contact her, and see what happens. If she comes back and SAYS that she is interested in trying to fix things and you feel the same then go for it. but if she does not contact you, then just continue to work on yourself and moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thecondor1991 Posted May 24, 2015 Author Share Posted May 24, 2015 I know how difficult this can be. I'm also going through a very difficult split from my ex boyfriend. We also ended up having sex when I went to Cali to spend spring break with him (bought the tix before we ended things) and it changed absolutely nothing for us. He still didn't want to try and fix things so I had to sit and accept the fact that I had sex with him but it probably didn't mean much. My advice to you is to go into no contact which means do not speak to her at all. This is going to be very difficult and easier said than done but it helps. It gives you both more time to clear your heads and figure out what you both want, especially her (I'm assuming she broke up with you?). Do not contact her, and see what happens. If she comes back and SAYS that she is interested in trying to fix things and you feel the same then go for it. but if she does not contact you, then just continue to work on yourself and moving on. yeah, this crap sucks. And yea she broke up with me. Nc is hard but I think I can do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Please stop this contact. It's only going to drag this out and cause you unnecessary pain and suffering. http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thecondor1991 Posted May 24, 2015 Author Share Posted May 24, 2015 Please stop this contact. It's only going to drag this out and cause you unnecessary pain and suffering. http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.comYeah, I know and I'm trying. Really I am, but it's so damn hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Yeah, I know and I'm trying. Really I am, but it's so damn hard. Read the guide, it will help you. There's also a really good No Contact Guide posted on this site! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thecondor1991 Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 So I've been back home, from Cali, for about two days now. The day I came back my little brother came up to me and showed me a message my ex had wrote on his arm, it said "Hi! glad your home, call me or text me if you want." I figure she knew I would probably ignore or delete a text so she used my little brother. She came to my house yesterday, but I had my brother tell her I was busy. I saw her today, but I'm not 100% sure she saw me. I get those nervous butterflies every time I know shes tried to contact me and every time I see her. Its been a bout 4 days since I started no contact, which was about where I was last time before I broke it. I've been doing a lot of "self work" to keep mind off of her. I've been getting up at 5:30 in the morning to so some hard work outs, I've been doing a lot of yard work, you know planting and keeping things neat, I've been doing a ton of reading, and some writing as well. So Yeah things still suck, but I'm trying like hell to keep my mind busy. Anyway just thought I would let you guys know where I was in the whole "getting better" thing. Link to post Share on other sites
OIrish Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I'm sorry, I know this sucks. I've been on no contact since Saturday morning and I miss him but I'm staying strong to move forward. You can do it! One hour, one minute, one second at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thecondor1991 Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 I'm sorry, I know this sucks. I've been on no contact since Saturday morning and I miss him but I'm staying strong to move forward. You can do it! One hour, one minute, one second at a time. Thanks its always nice to hear that. Geeze saturday, thats so fresh... Link to post Share on other sites
forumman83 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 (edited) Good job man. Keep the NC going. I have an interesting story that might help you through this. Kind of a reverse situation. Here it goes. Met a girl and started talking to her. We went out several times over the course of a couple months. I liked her quite a bit but till had feelings for someone else . She was starting to get a bit attached so I had a talk with her and said that maybe we should end things before someone gets hurt. She was pretty upset and called me and texted me for a couple days after trying to rekindle things. I remember thinking "this girl likes me too much, she should just let me go." Then bam, she stopped contacting me. 3 weeks go by and I start to miss her as some other dates didn't pan out. I started thinking about how nice she was to me and the good times we had together. Started reminiscing a bit. So I messaged her saying I was thinking about her. She was very happy to hear from me and agreed to meet for coffee. What's interesting is that as soon as she responded so eagerly to me showing interest, it reminded me very quickly that she is probably not the one for me. I actually thought to myself "it shouldn't be this easy. She should be questioning the hell out of things. She should be making me work. She should know her own value, her own worth." If she was to have let me go completely I would have seriously regreted my decision to let HER go. But she didn't. I gave her a bit of interest and she ate it up like a lapdog. She doesn't know her own worth. I know it's messed up but this is how it is. You have to let her go and work on yourself. Become stronger than you ever have been, more attractive, get your life together, become desirable to the opposite sex. Let her go emotionally. Then, maybe in time, you have a chance (if you so choose). But until then, your neediness will shine through whatever bravado you try and show. That's why NC is the only way. You're doing a good job now, don't do like this girl did and ruin all your progress by eating up breadcrumbs. You will regret each one you take a bite of in due time. Don't believe me? Read some of the stories on here! All the best my friend. Edited May 27, 2015 by forumman83 2 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 So its been like a little over a week since my ex and I split. Who broke up with whom? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thecondor1991 Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Who broke up with whom? Well she was "confused about us" so I made her make a choice. As you can guess she didn't choose me. Link to post Share on other sites
forumman83 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 She was "confused" = she was losing interest. Fast. And/or she was interested in someone else. Know your worth. Walk away. Get your **** together. Let her chase you. It's the only way. You gotta be thinking AT LEAST 30 days. Think long term here. I know its hard, but it must be done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thecondor1991 Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 She was "confused" = she was losing interest. Fast. And/or she was interested in someone else. Know your worth. Walk away. Get your **** together. Let her chase you. It's the only way. You gotta be thinking AT LEAST 30 days. Think long term here. I know its hard, but it must be done. yea... I pretty much guessed that's what it was. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thecondor1991 Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 (edited) OK so just a quick update. Yesterday my ex's kids came to my door to see me. I don't know if I've mentioned them before but I really built a connection with them, especially her son who is about to turn 5(I came into his life when he was just a few months old . I spent a lot of time with him, in fact he started flipping between calling me by my name and calling me daddy. I still love them very much, and I hadn't seen them sine the day before I went to California. They came to the door yesterday and told me how much they missed me and that they wanted me to take them to the park, which is something I was doing almost everyday before me and my ex split. I sat down and talked with them for a little while. It was heartbreaking. They kept telling me how much they miss me, and asked why I haven't come by to see them or their mom. I wasn't sure what she had told them so I lied and said "Well I work a lot now and so does your mom so its just hard to find time to see you guys." It made me feel like crap. I told them I would take them to the park on a day off, but for fear of breaking my Nc with my Ex I probably wont. And today was another rough day. You see I started my new job today which is great news because I can finally get my car fixed, get back in school, and really start getting back on my feet, but I have to admit, Its a bitter sweet feeling. You see, these are all the things I couldn't wait to share with someone. Now that I'm single it just feels like an empty victory... Edited May 29, 2015 by Thecondor1991 Link to post Share on other sites
kasop Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 OK so just a quick update. Yesterday my ex's kids came to my door to see me. I don't know if I've mentioned them before but I really built a connection with them, especially her son who is about to turn 5(I came into his life when he was just a few months old . I spent a lot of time with him, in fact he started flipping between calling me by my name and calling me daddy. I still love them very much, and I hadn't seen them sine the day before I went to California. They came to the door yesterday and told me how much they missed me and that they wanted me to take them to the park, which is something I was doing almost everyday before me and my ex split. I sat down and talked with them for a little while. It was heartbreaking. They kept telling me how much they miss me, and asked why I haven't come by to see them or their mom. I wasn't sure what she had told them so I lied and said "Well I work a lot now and so does your mom so its just hard to find time to see you guys." It made me feel like crap. I told them I would take them to the park on a day off, but for fear of breaking my Nc with my Ex I probably wont. And today was another rough day. You see I started my new job today which is great news because I can finally get my car fixed, get back in school, and really start getting back on my feet, but I have to admit, Its a bitter sweet feeling. You see, these are all the things I couldn't wait to share with someone. Now that I'm single it just feels like an empty victory... Wow your story is moving. I wouldnt seek the kids out but if they come to the door dont ignore them. Though this will make it difficult to move on from your ex. Just accept it for what it is. That bitter sweet feeling is you actually moving on. You can begin to be happy but its in a shroud of sadness. I went through alot of this and it nearly picked me apart. But after time it started to fade away. You are on the right path. Keep your head. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thecondor1991 Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 Wow your story is moving. I wouldnt seek the kids out but if they come to the door dont ignore them. Though this will make it difficult to move on from your ex. Just accept it for what it is. That bitter sweet feeling is you actually moving on. You can begin to be happy but its in a shroud of sadness. I went through alot of this and it nearly picked me apart. But after time it started to fade away. You are on the right path. Keep your head. Thank you very much for your words of encouragement. Link to post Share on other sites
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