Moley87 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 So with it being a Thursday (Sun is shining in Cardiff) I thought we could see how far people are into their no contact stage and how they are coping any tips are welcome Currently on my second spell of NC and 9 days in. Tip: Changed all pictures of the ex with a gringe face - does make me laugh. P.S congrats to everyone who is still in NC - 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bada bing Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 1 week buddy…and I feel good. Its the best way to get some self pride and dignity back. Make her miss you and think about you….but it's not always easy. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SankeCoffee Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 20 days of NC, been 30 days since BU. Ex has never reached out to me and I don't expect they will. If they still loved you they would of never broken up with you, so that pretty much is my driving force behind NC. Trying to save what dignity I have left and walk away with my head held high knowing they missed out on a good thing, and that I will be a better person for going through this hurt and growth. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lizrd3000 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 One week, despite texting her to give her keys back and telling her I need space so I can get over her, but in a very bussiness like manner, undirectly and without facing her in person. Feels like a lifetime though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Moley87 Posted May 21, 2015 Author Share Posted May 21, 2015 20 days of NC, been 30 days since BU. Ex has never reached out to me and I don't expect they will. If they still loved you they would of never broken up with you, so that pretty much is my driving force behind NC. Trying to save what dignity I have left and walk away with my head held high knowing they missed out on a good thing, and that I will be a better person for going through this hurt and growth. Some great responses already here and agree completely with the above comment, if you were important then this would set president on not breaking up with you. Good to reminder that the NC is about your recovery and yes head held high Link to post Share on other sites
colinmissesk Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Two weeks, but since this is a place to be honest with myself; I'm only doing it with the hope that it brings her back. I know that's not the right reason Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 1 week buddy…and I feel good. Its the best way to get some self pride and dignity back. Make her miss you and think about you….but it's not always easy. You take away all the dumpers power and knock their ego back down to size when you vanish from their lives. They made the decision to end the relationship, now you're making the decision to not engage with them again. A dumper may be over you and the relationship, but, it will still bother them that you're not contacting them looking for another chance. Let's face it. We ALL hate to be ignored. They will start to subconsciously think "well, I must of not meant that much to him" and it will hurt their confidence, again, even if they are glad you're not contacting them. A funny story I like to share. My sister got dumped by her long term boyfriend. He said he was done and moving on. She worked with the guy. She stopped all contact with him, even though they were in the same office. When she didn't chase him or beg for another chance, she took it one step further.. She mind ducked him and had a friend send her red roses 1 month after he dumped her. He slowly freaked out. He realized that maybe she wasn't all that in to him and had moved on all ready and he might lose her for good. He then approached her to talk. She made him struggle and suffer for a bit but agreed to talk. He ended up proposing a month or two later. Sometimes a dumper needs a reality check. They think the grass is greener. When the dumper immediately vanishes and goes NC, it can really change their thinking quickly. This is why so many dumpers reappear after a few months of hearing NOTHING from the ex. They realized what they had was pretty good. They tire of dating. A short rebound relationship sucked. They miss the stability of someone that loved them and the warmth of the relationship. I know I also read that dumpees should NEVER take the dumper back. Reconciliations rarely last more than a couple of months. Often times when the dumped have months of NC, they get the clarity that the relationship really wasn't that great and they are happy it's over. Some even get the pleasure of saying "no thanks" when the dumper comes back for another chance. I know I enjoyed saying that when my dumper came back after 6 months of NOT hearing one word from me.. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 It'll be 5 months tomorrow! 151 days to be exact. (Had to open a calender to count.) Feeling better than ever. I just remind myself that if he wanted to talk to me, he would do it. And if he doesn't then me contacting him isn't going to change that. Everyday is another step forward on a path away from him. When we were together we were stopped on his path. It wasn't healthy and now it's time to find my own way. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. NC is breaking that cycle. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
sober and dry Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I had a month before and broke the NC stupidly... Now it's almost a month again but I have more strength and self control I hope Keep strong people! Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 A little over 7 months. She reached out to my mom on Christmas, then when I was in the hospital her mom came to stop in and check up on me (she also worked there as a nurse)... but I have not spoken nor do I plan on speaking to her. I just found out she has a new boyfriend, I guess this became official about a month ago. Anyways, its always nice to see that your ex has downgraded. Tips: Simple, don't contact them. Tell your friends not to tell you anything. Don't text, don't call, don't check her profile (I checked at months 3, 5 and just lat night when I found out about her new relationship). It went from bringing emotions back (at month 3)... to doing pretty good (at month 5) and now glad she found someone (at month 7.5). Granted, it still stings a little bit. But all in all, no biggie. It gets easier. My friend keeps breaking all the rules of NC and he insists he's over her (1 month ago)... I can tell how he talks about her and the breakup that he isn't - he just can't admit it. He knows he keeps getting himself hung up on her by talking to her, seeing her, taking her on a trip to the beach (yes, that happened), sending her flowers to have a better day... all terrible things that keep you looking in the past, not forward, where you want. Leave the past in the past. Don't let those hold you back in life. You're better than that. It gets better, believe me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dangerbang Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 6 weeks today. Feeling fine, don't miss her anymore or want anything to do with her. My new thing now is that I wont meet anyone else or ever get laid again. But I'm trying not to worry about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lizrd3000 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 6 weeks today. Feeling fine, don't miss her anymore or want anything to do with her. My new thing now is that I wont meet anyone else or ever get laid again. But I'm trying not to worry about it. Welcome to my head. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Over a year(relationship was 3 years) It's great. New gf is 100x better in every way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 5 months. feels good. stay strong everyone. that is key. you WILL feel better. even when you feel like there is NO WAY. trust me. peace & love to all. this boat we're in is full of good peeps. hang tight and lean on others as needed. Link to post Share on other sites
Meli22 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 A little over 2 months. No more urges to reach out to him. And its allowed me to see him for how he is and see our relationship for what it was. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imbax Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Tomorrow will be 5 weeks post BU and 4 weeks NC since I reached out to her with no reply back I can't say I am getting better but I am learning to deal with the hurt a lot better. I still miss her and what we had so much, but realising she chose to break up and leave it all behind is enough for me to think of life without her 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sowhynot Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Five, six weeks ? Can't say I'm counting. Odd things I miss. Like making a paella for the first time for my Dad yesterday and suddenly realising I wouldn't be telling her about it afterwards. Seems daft and illogical to loose a friend. Oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
Meli22 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Seems daft and illogical to loose a friend. Oh well. I often think this. I find it strange to be so involved with someone for so long and then BAM, not even talking anymore. It's crazy and sad, and it makes me understand why exes wish to remain friends. But hey ho, life goes on 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 I'm 59 days into NC. That means tomorrow it'll be 2 months since everything was turned upside down. I'm doing well now. After the first few weeks, he stopped breaking NC (I never even opened his messages) It sucks that he found someone else already while I'm still single, but I'm not letting this bother me anymore. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
StrangerThanFiction Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Day 9 of NC and going strong. I have absolutely zero desire to either contact him or be contacted by him. In fact, I don't even want to have to contact him to tell him the rest of his crap is in storage for him to pick up instead of me having to see him if it had still been at my place. Feeling good! Thank god for NC! I know I wouldn't be in such a good headspace if I haven't stuck to it Yay NC! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LindaRose Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Since April 30 so about 22 days in. They've messaged me but I didn't reply. Some days are better then other for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Unlucky_I_Guess Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 2 weeks LC due to moving her stuff out. She threw me a breadcrumb yesterday (you doing good?). Sorry, I already ate dinner. Don't need your crumbs. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 I stopped counting. I used to keep track of how long it's been, but this time I don't think about it much. It's been a little over a month since I heard that she had a new boyfriend. I haven't checked my Trash folder for emails from her in 3 days though. Go me! Link to post Share on other sites
hunk Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Never counted exactly but about 2 months of NC and 4 months in total since break up. Went straight NC after break up and she contacted me after 2 months, which in turn unleashed hell upon earth, immediately after this interaction I blocked + deleted her on everything and went back to NC so this couldn't happen again. NC gets easier and I don't really think about it much anymore. Everyone will be fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OK_computer Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 1 year and 3 months...but i see her everyday in my university. SOLID 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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