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Got a text after 1 week No Contact…What do I do?


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sort of "Broke up" or "stopped communicating" with the long distance girlfriend as we had a fight on the phone when I questioned her about disappearing on a Friday night, which was a pattern. She got defensive and then I pulled back as she had pulled back, so I went NC for a week.

 

After 2 days she texted "We're not doing good right?

 

I texted back "I don't know, But we are good communicators and we should talk and listen"

 

She then wrote "yes, I hope some day we can talk and truly and really understand the other person"…( but its was some day? )

 

After that I did not text again, so no contact.

 

Yesterday after 1 week of no contact, I get this text from her:

 

"seems like things are changing a lot, hope your having a good trip, wishing you are always good"

 

I replied--"hello, trip still going great,….Maybe we should talk, I've been thinking a lot about things…hope things are well with you"

 

Then this reply from her confused me: "thanks for answering…we don't need to talk…I just wanted to know that you were doing good, thats all"

 

I guess its good she texted me, but I don't understand why or her response.

i was sort of ready to move on and did not think I'd hear from her tbh…Not sure why she doesn't want or "need" to talk?….Maybe she thought when I said "we should talk" I would break up with her over the phone ? I wasn't planning to, but was going to tell her my thoughts..we normally talked things thru very well and listened very well.

 

Did she maybe text me out of guilt? what should I do?

 

what does the "seems were not doing good" text mean from her as the sender?

 

We never had the talk or officially broke up or ended things.

 

thanks everyone for your responses

Edited by bada bing
Grammar
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Strength in Healing

Wow. Her last reply was heartless. Yes she contacted you for selfish reasons. Don't grovel or pursue. No point brother. Best you can do is be confident and avoid talking at all.

 

You can either show her what she lost, or show her why she's glad she lost you.

 

The only difference between those is no contact.

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frigginlost
So you think she was reaching out or just offering "breadcrumbs"?

 

Neither.

 

She was being cruel and selfish. That last response from her was absolutely heartless...

 

Ignore her. Completely.

 

When she decides to act like a mature adult, you will know it. Her "reaching out" will sound a whole lot different.

 

Wow...

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I forgot to mention also in the last text she also said " well I'm good, staying busy and doing some new things and meeting new people"

 

Now, she knows I can get a little jealous at times, and I think this was unnecessary information to send that was a bit cruel to try to make me jealous…

 

But I didn't take the bait :-)

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Dude, as far as she's concerned, you two are broken up. She contact you to see if you hate her. Once she figures out that you're fine and all is good, she's going to disappear. See, she realizes that you've blocked her on everything. Therefore, you must hate her. She's contacting you to see if this is the case.

 

 

That's one thing MOST girls can't stand is thinking that there's a person on this planet that hates them or doesn't think that they are a nice person. Drives them nuts.

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Dude, as far as she's concerned, you two are broken up. She contact you to see if you hate her. Once she figures out that you're fine and all is good, she's going to disappear. See, she realizes that you've blocked her on everything. Therefore, you must hate her. She's contacting you to see if this is the case.

 

 

Good Point Chi Town…Maybe she was just seeing if I'd respond or ignore her completely, hence why she said thanks for responding…

 

I don't think her text was sincere or wanting to tell me anything more than that.

 

Should I just ignore her now?

 

I'm guessing I won't here from her again now...

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pidgeon1010

Ignore her last text and go NC. That was bait text to get a reaction out of you. She's been very immature. I don't think that's the last you'll hear from her though.

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She is just being immature, and making sure that you don't totally forget her. Which is what you should do because this is not a healthy way for mature adults to behave.

 

It might hurt but let her go and move on in your own life. I wish you well.

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Good Point Chi Town…Maybe she was just seeing if I'd respond or ignore her completely, hence why she said thanks for responding…

 

I don't think her text was sincere or wanting to tell me anything more than that.

 

Should I just ignore her now?

 

I'm guessing I won't here from her again now...

 

 

All depends if she is a secure person or an insecure person. She might have decided that you're fine and not holding any grudges and she'll leave you alone.

 

 

But, there might be a day where she feels lonely or she gets into a fight with the dude she's dating and she might throw you out a breadcrumb to have you give her an ego boost. To let her know that she's still got it and is desirable to others. It would be totally for her benefit, not for you.

 

 

She would be pulling on the leash to see if the dog is still there.

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Great, now she is posting relationship coded messages on FB…

 

stuff like " if you don't respond the way people want you too, their true character is revealed"

 

Taking shots on social media, of course this all started with her lack of responding and her disappearing act on weekends...

 

I know I need to stay quiet and not even go to her page…I know, being stupid.

 

She did this stuff with her ex husband all the time, but he would take the bait and respond.

She would also exploit his emotional weaknesses to get a rise out of him, sort of like the last text she sent me…now I'm connecting the dots.

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Dude, as far as she's concerned, you two are broken up. She contact you to see if you hate her. Once she figures out that you're fine and all is good, she's going to disappear. See, she realizes that you've blocked her on everything. Therefore, you must hate her. She's contacting you to see if this is the case.

 

 

That's one thing MOST girls can't stand is thinking that there's a person on this planet that hates them or doesn't think that they are a nice person. Drives them nuts.

 

^^This post is as accurate as it can be about her. You messed up by giving her what she wanted to hear. She just wanted to check to see if you hate her and if you'd still react to her. You gave her that so she's relieved. She reached out mainly because of her own selfishness and little to do or care of you.

 

I have no idea why girls do this (from my experience), they feel the need to contact you to make themselves feel better and if you give them what they want (a reply), you probably wont hear much from them again because in their minds they as satisfied. Most girls are insecure so they hate when someone that hasnt done bad to them to hate them, drives them insane until they resolve it.

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Great, now she is posting relationship coded messages on FB…

 

stuff like " if you don't respond the way people want you too, their true character is revealed"

 

Taking shots on social media, of course this all started with her lack of responding and her disappearing act on weekends...

 

I know I need to stay quiet and not even go to her page…I know, being stupid.

 

She did this stuff with her ex husband all the time, but he would take the bait and respond.

She would also exploit his emotional weaknesses to get a rise out of him, sort of like the last text she sent me…now I'm connecting the dots.

 

She's playing your mind because she knows you'd check her social media.. Do yourself a favor and stop caring and forget about her... The sooner the better.

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I guess I could un-friend her too, although that sort of shows I care or I'm upset…

 

Why do they do this ****…I just want to move on and want her to leave me alone…I thought about posting something on my FB "don't be treated as an option, make it easy and remove yourself", but then she would know I'm checking her page or responding…

 

Next time I will ignore her text---no need for her to post things like this to me.

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I agree. You need to stop looking at her social media. Because, this will only get worse. She did this with her Ex husband to get a response. Once she see's that it's not working on you, she's going to post pics like her sitting on some dude's lap, or kissing some dude. ANYTHING to get you to respond. Sure, she knows you might blow up at her, but at least she got you to respond. At least, you gave her an ego boost knowing that she can still make you jealous.

 

 

Best bet? Block her on everything!

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I guess I could un-friend her too, although that sort of shows I care or I'm upset…

 

Why do they do this ****…I just want to move on and want her to leave me alone…I thought about posting something on my FB "don't be treated as an option, make it easy and remove yourself", but then she would know I'm checking her page or responding…

 

Next time I will ignore her text---no need for her to post things like this to me.

No need to stoop to her level.

I know you feel the urge to do it, I've felt it too, but it really wont alleviate the hurt, or anything else really. It just shows that you read her FB page like you said, but also that she can get a rise out of you, like her other EX you mentioned.

 

 

You can un-follow someone on Facebook btw.

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Guess what? You owe her NOTHING at this point. I'd so quickly block her on FB and all other media! Vanish from her life. Change your phone number.

 

Who gives a rats azz what she thinks. It's over. It's clearly her MO and she's get's off on the drama of posting things on FB for a reaction. The fact that her ex husband didn't block speaks volumes to how dumb he was.

 

Blocking and ignoring her will annoy her but more importantly, help you from spying and allow you to heal and move on.. If you continue on with what you're doing, that would simply demonstrate that you like the drama as well..

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forumman83

Sounds like you're in a no-win situation for now. I don't think you can message her because she will shoot you down; at the same time you probably feel like you need to say something.

 

 

I would recommend implementing a 30 NC period to get yourself straight. I would avoid talking to her even if she messages you. Get your mind right then deal with it.

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You can un-follow someone on Facebook btw.

 

Thanks for the idea…I just un-followed her which should help…

 

To be honest I get good moments and bad moments today.

 

The board has helped give me strength, so thank you.

 

Keep the posts and support coming…..i need it

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lolablue17

Stop playing her games and call her on the phone.

One normal conversation will explain you everything.

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Great, now she is posting relationship coded messages on FB…

 

 

Sounds like she's addicted to drama like my ex. Don't respond to it in any way. Even if it's to be mean back.. It'll just boost her ego and give her something to talk about. Some girls love drama and love being the center of attention in their own little soap opera. Go out and meet new girls and enjoy life, she'll be left feeling ridicilous for trying to play mind games and only fooling herself.

 

 

My ex kept dropping little hints at stuff we did togheter, inside jokes etc. And when I sent her a text message to feel her out she exploded and posted a **** load of passive aggresive memes. Like I said, addicted to drama. She even had the nerve to make fun of my height when she is slightly overweight and gap toothed herself. Taking the high road was hard, I was typing out mean tweets and erasing them all day, but didn't end up posting anything which I'm grateful for now.

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Stop playing her games and call her on the phone.

One normal conversation will explain you everything.

 

Well I have asked her twice that we should talk and the last time she said, "its ok, we don't need to talk"…so now its up to her to reach out if she wants to talk or has something to say.

 

I wrote a post about the relationship in the dating section two or three weeks ago about her suspected cheating…Maybe that will give you some more insight to her behavior than what I wrote here.

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Stop playing her games and call her on the phone.

One normal conversation will explain you everything.

 

This had got me thinking if I should try to talk to her?

 

I only say this as we never actually broke up or had an adult conversation…We just stopped texting each other. I did not like that she was taking 1-2 days to respond so I pulled back, stopped initiating texts and now we are in a stalemate?

I sometimes think that NC is great when you officially break up, but maybe I should take the high road and send her an email or call her…

 

I won't beg, just explain my position and see what she has to say.

 

Of course she may not even answer the phone…What you think?

 

Remember we never actually broke up.

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This had got me thinking if I should try to talk to her?

 

I only say this as we never actually broke up or had an adult conversation…We just stopped texting each other. I did not like that she was taking 1-2 days to respond so I pulled back, stopped initiating texts and now we are in a stalemate?

I sometimes think that NC is great when you officially break up, but maybe I should take the high road and send her an email or call her…

 

I won't beg, just explain my position and see what she has to say.

 

Of course she may not even answer the phone…What you think?

 

Remember we never actually broke up.

 

 

 

I think that's a bad advice and you're only considering this because deep down you want to talk to her and for everything to be back the way it was. Don't be stupid, she's not going to talk to you and you're just going to hurt yourself. You already tried to reach out on 2 different occasions, she rejected your offer so stop trying to force it.

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I think that's a bad advice and you're only considering this because deep down you want to talk to her and for everything to be back the way it was. Don't be stupid, she's not going to talk to you and you're just going to hurt yourself. You already tried to reach out on 2 different occasions, she rejected your offer so stop trying to force it.

 

I ask because I don't even trust my own judgement now being so emotionally confused.

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