Another_Day_Down Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 So short version, my ex broke up after 1.6 years with me stating she doesn't want to look after me anymore (she never did though) and is she a bad person? Because I have ulcerative colitis... The stress of being with her I was basically ill for the whole time, but since we broken up now for two months my health has improved 100%. I bet she never told her family and friends that reason that she never wanted to look after me lol Anyway, she has depression and anxiety issues and seeks bad advice from her family and friends which led to us breaking up. Anyway, one night about 3 weeks after we broke up she told me she had a one night stand with a random but she has had many one nights stands before me and will probably have many more after me. Sorry digressing here, but after she told me about the one night stand she said I can leave her alone now and move on with my life so I did and we didn't speak for 4 weeks. However, I knew she was going on holiday yesterday and that got to me hugely because I knew I was going on the holiday until she dumped me for a life of one night stands, but it got to me that bad I messaged her saying I hope you have a good holiday. Was this stupid of me? Why do you think I did this LS? If I could I would take it back because I knew what she would say back and I guessed right because all she said was "thank u." I was doing so well until then, do you all think it was because I knew she was going away and after the holiday I won't know what she is doing so I won't have that urge anymore to message her? Advice is much appreciated :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 So short version, my ex broke up after 1.6 years with me stating she doesn't want to look after me anymore (she never did though) and is she a bad person? Because I have ulcerative colitis... The stress of being with her I was basically ill for the whole time, but since we broken up now for two months my health has improved 100%. I bet she never told her family and friends that reason that she never wanted to look after me lol Anyway, she has depression and anxiety issues and seeks bad advice from her family and friends which led to us breaking up. Anyway, one night about 3 weeks after we broke up she told me she had a one night stand with a random but she has had many one nights stands before me and will probably have many more after me. Sorry digressing here, but after she told me about the one night stand she said I can leave her alone now and move on with my life so I did and we didn't speak for 4 weeks. However, I knew she was going on holiday yesterday and that got to me hugely because I knew I was going on the holiday until she dumped me for a life of one night stands, but it got to me that bad I messaged her saying I hope you have a good holiday. Was this stupid of me? Why do you think I did this LS? If I could I would take it back because I knew what she would say back and I guessed right because all she said was "thank u." I was doing so well until then, do you all think it was because I knew she was going away and after the holiday I won't know what she is doing so I won't have that urge anymore to message her? Advice is much appreciated :-) This relationship was dysfunctional and unhealthy for you both. Basically, there was co-dependency here it appears. Leave it be. Allow yourself to recover and get your colitis under control. Find someone who doesn't make you sick. Link to post Share on other sites
Moley87 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Hi afraid so was most def because she was going away however you didn't say anything bad so it should be fine to start again. Personally she sounds like you can do better and I imagine your still pining especially if only 4 weeks NC goes against all human nature so don't beat yourself up I know from experience lol Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Anyway, one night about 3 weeks after we broke up she told me she had a one night stand with a random but she has had many one nights stands before me and will probably have many more after me. Sorry digressing here, but after she told me about the one night stand she said I can leave her alone now and move on with my life so I did and we didn't speak for 4 weeks. This is kinda what you would call and exit affair. She screwed some guy and came back to tell you about it. So, it was her saying, "Okay, look! I officially hurt you now. Now, I've given you a reason to give up and lose all hope of us getting back together. Now, I've shown you what you real meant to me. So, you can get mad, but go away as well." Dude, you need to start focusing on the only thing you have control over and that's YOU! Focus on your health and start focusing on your future. Start making positive changes in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Another_Day_Down Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 Redhead14: Thank you for your reply, just curious what was co-dependant? Moley87: Thank you for your reply, but why do you think I had the urge to message her after doing well for 4 weeks? Cheers :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Another_Day_Down Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 That's the thing I took it like a man and didn't argue and said ok and left it, I wanted to call her a w@@@e but that's not in my nature, but why should she be really nasty when i did everything i could for her and treated her great, but she was nothing like that in return to me... Curious hey? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Another_Day_Down Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 The thing is i think her depression took over and throughout our relationship she would put up this brick wall against me and hard to communicate with, if things got tough she went to stay with her parents and leave me stranded. It was always me that instigated affection. One minute i was good for her and she wanting kids and marriage and the next she was dumping me and randomly hooking up. However, she gets crazily drunk and drinking whilst on depression i read that it isn't good. Anyway, she is a completely different person, she gets violent and very argumentative. I'm glad she finished with me so i can get back to my old self, she said she missed the old Darren before i was ill but i didn't say you are causing me to be ill nevermind hey? Link to post Share on other sites
dancingsunflowers80 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Hi there - I agree with some of the other responses that it sounds like it's time for you to take care of yourself and focus on getting healthy. It's great that you are feeling better! Blessings to you brother and may the right person come into life soon! mommato2lilmonkeys Link to post Share on other sites
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