ldfernan Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 (edited) Hello, I have been dating a japanese girl for 1 year and 8 months, we were living in Australia when I met her, after some time she went back to Japan and while I was in Australia I was visiting her each 3 months, I needed come back to Brazil, and she visited me, she went back Japan about 2 months...the thing is: she just started to work, about one month, and she changed completely since she started to work, no time to reply me, no time to call me, even on weekend she didn't have time for me, she said she was too busy and it is not polite to refuse hanging out with co-workers if they invite, so she spent most of time working or hanging out with friends, but it wasn't like that before...2 days I go she said it was too hard to stay together, because we are in a long distance relationship, and we should be friends...and after many talking and I was trying to say to her she was wrong, she said she were trying to come back the feeling she had for me, but she couldn't... but about two weeks ago she was saying she loves me and one day before that she said she wasn't talking with me because she was missing me so much and she didn't wanna get feeling till we get together again, I was trying to contact her and she isn't replying me neither getting my calls, she said she needs a time without me because she feel so much pressure from me...what do you think I should do? is this time a temporary or she is breaking up with me? I am insisting her to call me on phone and tell me everything through the phone, because I wanna her everything from her heart, but she said she would call me but she didn't....I said I will give her space and time till she be ready to call me, what do you think I should do? thanks...I love so much this girl, almost two days without eating... Edited May 4, 2015 by ldfernan Link to post Share on other sites
AmbiguousWhore Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 The distance between me and my ex isn't as far as the distance you face, but it's still distance, and i doubt there are many people who can handle that distance. My father works a job that means he is away half the time and my mother still struggles with that and misses him a lot. With my ex the distance was the main factor in ending the relationship - it leads to a lot of other problems, like loss of feelings and disconnection. People need to meet in person, have physical contact, to maintain a healthy relationship. If you can't somehow do this then i don't think you can continue your relationship with her. It may be better to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ldfernan Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 The distance between me and my ex isn't as far as the distance you face, but it's still distance, and i doubt there are many people who can handle that distance. My father works a job that means he is away half the time and my mother still struggles with that and misses him a lot. With my ex the distance was the main factor in ending the relationship - it leads to a lot of other problems, like loss of feelings and disconnection. People need to meet in person, have physical contact, to maintain a healthy relationship. If you can't somehow do this then i don't think you can continue your relationship with her. It may be better to move on. I know this distance sucks, but we were planning to live together after 1 year, and I would visit her at least twice before we live together...she just started to ignore me after she got new job and got busy... :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author ldfernan Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 the last text of her to me was that she said she maybe need time without me because she was feeling too much pressure from me, does this time means a week or forever? Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 It could be that she is just really busy and stressed in her new job (I know the japanese have a very serious work ethic) and that she hasn't time for constant communication. And that your pressuring her is driving her away. It's more likely that now that she's moving on with her life and is away from you, she realises that her feelings are not so strong for you. Either way, calling her constantly will not help. Give her some space for a bit. If she comes back to you, maybe there is something still there. Link to post Share on other sites
Moley87 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Distance is one of the main reasons relationships don't work and personally I think in your case this is one of those statistics Moving back to her home land would prob means she has find security back home and is being realistic about her future I'm sorry but if you met in another country and now your both apart I just don't see how you to will reconnect here ? I split with my ex due to her moving to oz and have to acerpt that distant doesnt work so wished her the best and now in my recovery Your holding onto a memories not her , sorry to hear but I think you now have to find it in your heart to let go Link to post Share on other sites
Author ldfernan Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 It could be that she is just really busy and stressed in her new job (I know the japanese have a very serious work ethic) and that she hasn't time for constant communication. And that your pressuring her is driving her away. It's more likely that now that she's moving on with her life and is away from you, she realises that her feelings are not so strong for you. Either way, calling her constantly will not help. Give her some space for a bit. If she comes back to you, maybe there is something still there. I think it is the first option, I will give time to her, today is the first day we don't text each other since I start relationship with her, I am wishing she will realize that I am the man of her life with this no communication time, she always said that, me and her have so much love for each other, do you think she can realize Mi and her are meant to be together after a while without talk with me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ldfernan Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 Distance is one of the main reasons relationships don't work and personally I think in your case this is one of those statistics Moving back to her home land would prob means she has find security back home and is being realistic about her future I'm sorry but if you met in another country and now your both apart I just don't see how you to will reconnect here ? I split with my ex due to her moving to oz and have to acerpt that distant doesnt work so wished her the best and now in my recovery Your holding onto a memories not her , sorry to hear but I think you now have to find it in your heart to let go After she moved back to Japan I went twice in Japan and she went once to Australia, and when I moved back to Brazil she came to visit me and we spent almost 2 months together, it was about 3 months ago...so I feel we are connected and we help each other a lot of times, we are planning to get marriage and I would move to other country and she would follow me....we both had this strong option...I hope I can overcome this moment... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ldfernan Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 I know I promise her to give her time, but tomorrow will be our anniversary, and we didn't break up, so do you think I should text a little text to her or send a very romantic text and in the final I say I will still give time to her, what do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ldfernan Posted May 10, 2015 Author Share Posted May 10, 2015 I sent I text to her about everything and to say happy anniversary, but after I read I found out that I shouldn't have sent it, so now is my 6th day without she replies me anything, how long should I wait till I say to her: is everything or nothing? Link to post Share on other sites
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