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Having an emotional relapse after kissing a girl


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Maverick27

two months post messy breakup (she cheated, left me for him). I got quite drunk and made out with a girl at a beach house my friends and I rented for the weekend. She ticks every box - she's attractive and smart and we have a million common interests..

 

However, it just made me sad. It wasnt my ex...

 

I seriously cannot remember what it feels like to be happy. I can barely force myself to cough up a laugh. Everything just feels so forced.

 

I know i should ask this girl out on a date, because i know we would be compatible - but i just dont have the strength at the moment.

 

My question is, do i date people to ease myself back into things and just hope i develop the 'rush' you get when your seeing someone new...or wait until i dont feel like a complete piece of ****?

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Dude, dude, dude..... what are you doing?

 

You're not ready to be kissing someone. Are you kidding? What on earth are you doing looking for rebounds?

 

Here's the deal: it might make you feel better for about five minutes to date someone else.... but how this ends is you feel worse about your ex, and the rebound girls ends up heartbroken and posting on this site about YOU!

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Maverick27

You dont think so?

 

All my friends keep saying is 'the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else' - so ive sort of been forcing myself to be more flirty etc, but it feels fake.

 

Yeah she has also just come out of a breakup.....so it's probably bad news for both of us.

 

It's just hard thinking about my ex already in a relationship and im just sitting here all alone, dwelling on regret.

 

Maybe i should get a cat.

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Cats are AWESOME. I'm a lifelong dog person and recent cat convert. :D

 

Look, your friends mean well -- but they have NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT.

 

Hopping on a rebound -- worse, with someone who's using you as a rebound as well -- is the absolute worst thing you can do right now.

 

It keeps you from properly grieving and moving on from your ex.

 

It makes you super-attached to this new girl, so if she dumps you it's going to be twice as hard to recover.

 

It makes HER super-attached to you, so that when you realize you don't really love her six months from now, she's going to be devastated.

 

There's just NO WAY a rebound is going to work out for you. The only male-female relationship you should be entertaining right now is FWB. That's it. That's all you're emotionally available for -- and frankly, so soon after a breakup, I'd say even that would probably just make you miss your ex more.

 

If you and this new girl are going to have a chance, walk away and agree to meet up six months from now. Mutual rebounds = recipe for disaster.

 

Give yourself more time to recover. And yeah, a cat. :laugh:

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lolablue17

I don't think you should date a girl just as a tool to heal.

 

You should date her if you like her. You don't have to love her so quickly, and you don't have to feel that great thing for her, these thing sometimes come after a while.

 

But first, stop comparing her to your Ex. As i said, if you like her, date her and stop making so many calculations about it. If you don't like her, drop it.

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