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Over 30 - recent breakup, anyone else?


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I'm so sad.

My bf of 2 years & I split a week ago. He's 36 & I'm 32.

Although he never said so, I felt like he was leading me on. It was very difficult to progress with him. I was ready to live together & plan a life together (I want kids & my bio clock is tick tocking)

We argued constantly about sharing holidays, going on vacations, & other unnecessary things...things that should not be issues..

He was not a family man, which is important to me.

The break up came after we agreed to move in together, but he became upset during a discussion about whose furniture we'd keep (we both have fully furnished apartments, my stuff is newer & nicer)

I couldn't believe he was giving me such a hard time. It felt as if he was making any excuse not to move in together.

I initiated the break up.

I felt unsupported. He never had my back like I needed a possible husband to.

I also felt like he was settling for me (he never reassured me that he wanted a family through ACTION only words.

 

NC has been difficult. My mind keeps telling me that our breakup is silly miscommunication, but deep down I know it's more than that.

 

 

It's really hard for me to think about starting over again at my age, considering I want children. I rarely meet men that I'm physically attracted to. I'm trying to remain optimistic, but I feel like it's almost impossible to meet someone, get married, & start a family at 32.

My child bearing years may pass me by. :(

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I'm 37, my ex was 32. She wanted kids too but started talking about freezing her eggs and possibly getting a surrogate to preserve her career (and her body) saying she would "just bond with the kids later" (not a.great sign after 1.5 years together, dodged a bullett there I did!)

 

Anyway, I'm coming to the conclusion that at 37, I also will not probably be having children anytime soon or ever. When 1000 surveyed women say 70% of exisiting American men are undesirable, then we have the makings of a shallow society. There is already a marriage gap and now they are discussing a baby gap.

 

Anyway, you still have time to start a family with the right man. Don't lose hope and don't let that take you back to something that is broken.

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Im 30 this year and I thought id met the man id spend my life with but alas I didnt. I think being married and have kids with the wrong man is worse than being single. Whats for you wont pass you. Good move on dumping your ex. If he doesnt want the things you do want then it wasnt right for you and he couldnt make you happy.

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Yep, I'm a 33 year old woman in the same boat. My partner of 10 years started cheating on me and eventually left me for another woman. He had issues with mild Bipolar Disorder which suddenly worsened so I'm blaming his cheating on that. It helps a little.

 

I started dating someone through my social circle 2 months later who I had great chemistry but he turned out to be emotionally unavailable. 6 months of him pulling away everytime things got more serious. He was also mildly abusive. Now I'm dealing with the new breakup before I fully recovered from the first.

 

It feels like a catch 22. I'm supposed to spend a long time being single to fully recover, but I'm almost 34. I'm running out of time. But trying to date before I'm ready means I'm attracting unhealthy relationships.

Edited by garfish99
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mtnbiker3000

Why are all you youngins cryin' about being old? 30's are the new 20's. Me? Now I'm old... 43 :p

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backandforth

This thread hits me right in the feels! I'm 37, ex is 31. One thing that hit me really (and unexpectedly) hard was the fact that I'd lost probably my last good chance at starting a family.

 

I know it's still biologically possible, but I don't wanna start having kids in my 40s. And I want to be with someone for a couple of years before I commit to something like that. Looks like I'm **** out of luck there.

 

I'm just gonna fill the hole with travel and adventure.

 

Starting over really sucks at this age.

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You know what you want and you made the right choice, I think.

 

That being said, I'm sorry for what you're going through. The good news is that you're a strong person who knows what they want. Keep looking forward.

 

If it's any consolation, my mom had me at 31 and my half-sister at 46. My best friend's mom had her at 41.

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Lonely hearts

Yep. I'm 37 and just had my heart broken for the third time. Only this one was the shortest (5 weeks!) but most Intense. I have NEVER been so fully attracted to any man before him (I've been married and had a couple LTR).

Anyway, I was apparently his rebound and he blindsided me, texting out of the blue he "clearly wasn't ready for anything". I have always wanted a child of my own. I was so taken with this man that I was willing to over look the fact that he can't have more kids because he had 2 already and I figured I could be happy being a stepmom

Def the point in my life where I have to give up that dream of a family, when I think about it I want to cry every time. How did I get to be this age and single?? Like you, I am not easily attracted to most men. It's been a brutal week and a half since I last talked to him. It doesn't help that for the moment I've lost all hope that I'll find better. I just want to be happy and find my partner in crime. It's so much harder at this age to stay positive!

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PeanutbutterAndJelly

I am so sorry you are hurting. I went theough the same thing - I was crazy un love and couldnt imagine ever being okay again and now I am. You are going to be okay!!!

Since having kids is so important to you, the practical thing to do would be to go see how everything is 'going' reproductively speaking. If the doctor tells you that you're very fertile then you can rest easy and know that you have plenty of time. However if you get news other than that, you will be armed with the information you need and have the opportunity to freeze your eggs if you so desire. As a fellow women over 30 and dating I understand the struggles, however I do believe It will all work out for the best. I wish you the best :)

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My name is joan' date=' I live in United kingdom..I am here to say a big thank you to Dr odun for helping me and making me smile again, after reading a lot of testimonies about Dr odun i wrote him and told him to help me restore my marriage as my home have been scattered for 3yrs now, He replied my email and told me to send my pic and my husband pic and some other things, which i did and he said he will be done in 48hrs, with hope i slept and on the 3rd day Nathaniel called me and asked if i could pack my things to his place and forgive him, i was shocked and this is how dr odun helped me in restoring my. home Contact him: [email'][email protected][/email] or cell phone number +2347066024141 If he did mine he will do yours :)

 

Any mods? I don't think this thing is supposed to be here

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This thread hits me right in the feels! I'm 37, ex is 31. One thing that hit me really (and unexpectedly) hard was the fact that I'd lost probably my last good chance at starting a family.

 

I know it's still biologically possible, but I don't wanna start having kids in my 40s. And I want to be with someone for a couple of years before I commit to something like that. Looks like I'm **** out of luck there.

 

I'm just gonna fill the hole with travel and adventure.

 

Starting over really sucks at this age.

 

Travel, adventure and retirement fund backandforth!

 

36, ex is 34. My ex was on the FAST track to settle down & start a family. Baby rabies, oh boy! It ended after a year, it's just too much pressure. The only things that seemed important to her was is a ring, a wedding, a baby, then probably a house, OH and don't forget probably a new car too!:sick: Sorry to many red flags for me.

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