need tips for leaving with not much $

[shell_fish]

My job pays $770 every two weeks, it's full time

 

I have no car, have a two year old, and a teenager who lives with his dad- I pay $150 in cs per month.

 

Two bedroom apt. cost at least $700 where I live. It seems impossible to make ends meet. I'm just above the line to get any kind of assistance, and have no family to help out. Any ideas? Or stories of how you did it? Moms or dads?

 

I also have a 50 pound dog, that I'm keeping no matter what, which rules out almost all low income apartments....

 

But my live in boyfriend sucks, and I need to leave him.

[PegNosePete]

Kick out the BF and get a lodger instead.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Start saving. Probably better to rent a room then an apt. You can always set up a room divider.

[d0nnivain]

Can you get a 2nd job or renegotiate CS in the short term? Can you move in with family? Can you get a better paying job?

[mightycpa]

"I also have a 50 pound dog, that I'm keeping no matter what..."

 

There's your problem. You can't tell the difference between a luxury and a need. At $385 per week, with $40 of that going to child support, unless you live somewhere in a third-world country, all you have is needs, and none of those needs include owning a dog of any size. It is another mouth to feed, and something tells me that you can't feed the little human mouth with the right stuff already.

 

The time, money and energy spent on that dog could literally be spent maybe reading a book, or learning a skill, and maybe doing something that would move you up the pay ladder.

 

I suppose it's one thing to have chosen this life for yourself. I don't begrudge you that choice. But to have brought a child into the world and to subject him to your subsistence- only lifestyle? That is beyond selfish.

 

I have to believe that the boyfriend doesn't have a separate room, so getting rid of him doesn't make any sense if he's helping with the bills. You should start looking into how you're going to make it work if he decides he's had enough.

 

Depressing.

[shell_fish]

I'm not the kind of person who believes in giving up an animal I committed to taking care of just because I fell on some hard times, and I actually do have job skills- I work for a non-profit, and it's low paying, but if you stick around, you move up quickly in this agency. You're assuming I have no skills. I have a master's degree. It doesn't mean I can get a high paying job immediately. That's not reality in today's workforce.

 

And I am the one who is fed up. With Him.

 

I was looking for helpful ideas, not to just be bashed. Thanks.

[Jessie1231]

I'm not the kind of person who believes in giving up an animal I committed to taking care of just because I fell on some hard times, and I actually do have job skills- I work for a non-profit, and it's low paying, but if you stick around, you move up quickly in this agency. You're assuming I have no skills. I have a master's degree. It doesn't mean I can get a high paying job immediately. That's not reality in today's workforce.

 

And I am the one who is fed up. With Him.

 

I was looking for helpful ideas, not to just be bashed. Thanks.

 

Well I think in your situation that giving up your dog is useful advice. It will open up your options as far as housing, decrease your deposit, and save money as it is one less mouth to feed.

[CarrieT]

I do not mean for this to come across as snarky, but I don't think there is anyway around that.

 

This is a relationship help board and you are posting in the break-up section. Someone with a Master's Degree should be able to research cost-saving methods in day-to-day living.

 

Let Me Google That For You

 

The first thing is to break-up with your boyfriend. That one is obvious.

[shell_fish]

One of the reasons women stay in unhealthy relationships is the fear of not being able to make it work on a low income. I was looking for success stories and advice. I know how to use google.

[CarrieT]

Okay, I will give you my story...

 

I ended an unhealthy the relationship a week before the Northridge earthquake occurred. In the process of losing a boyfriend, I also lost a place to live and all my belongings. Except my car and a cat.

 

I lived in my car for almost six month - while working on a Master's Degree... I lived on Subway sandwiches for a long time. A 12" sandwich was purchased in the morning, sustaining me throughout the day.

 

When I finally did get an apartment, my food budget was about $15 a week. I established relationships with butchers to have them save me bones and chicken backs from which I could make stock. I only shopped at Hispanic and Chinese grocery stores because they would usually sell off their almost-rotting vegetables for pennies and that is what I would use to make the stock. I would also buy fresher vegetables and make a pot of soup once a week; that, with a carton of milk, eggs, and a single loaf of bread is all I would have to eat for the week. My cat ate some of my scraps because cat food was too expensive.

 

New clothes *only* came from the Goodwill and that is a habit I have retained to this day, knowing that when it is really hot outside, no one will be there looking at the cashmere sweaters or coats.

 

I lived in a big city and I also was really good at haunting the upper-end hotels that often hosted events. I can't tell you how often giant platters of food are set up in hallways near where conventions are being staged. I would - yes - steal food by dressing up to look like I fit and mingle in when lunch was being served. If I stayed after lunch - when everyone goes back into their sessions - I would bag-up some of the food (cold cuts, mostly) to take home.

 

Does this help?

[Lokin4AReason]

apparently you have internet access ( which is a plus )

 

start searching craigslist for some gig(s) for that extra green ( along w/ saving up AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE on the side ). budget has to be tight ..

 

beside(s) you and your pup, is to keep a low key ( if you decide to spend some time in your vehicle ) find place(s) at where you can like park w/o being harassed by the local mounties ( aka cops ) ... also make sure you tag(s) are up to date ( as in license plate tags, as they try to find an excuse to mess w/ you ) ..

 

start hitting some restaurant(s) and hotel(s) w/ asking for left over(s) ( no same if you are struggling ) and just keep focused .. ( it ll seem dark for a bit ) but after awhile, you ll see the positive end of the situation ..

 

shower(s) can be at friend(s) place or a local truck stop and shopping for clothes at goodwill ( as mentioned ) or garage sale(s)

[d0nnivain]

As an animal lover, I am loathe to suggest you give up your pet, but pets are expensive. Understand that.

 

It's also very kind hearted of you to work in the not-for-profit sector but you are shooting yourself in the foot with that job. How many resumes have you sent out this week to get a new job? If the answer is less than 10 you aren't serious about moving.

 

You need to increase your income & lower your expenses. At the very least check out some of the thrifty message boards & learn things like feeding a family on $100 per month, buying clothes at thrift shops, cutting cable, downsizing your car so you don't have car payments etc.

[mightycpa]

One of the reasons women stay in unhealthy relationships is the fear of not being able to make it work on a low income. I was looking for success stories and advice. I know how to use google.

 

I'll give you my story. I lived in a car for about 3 months, then moved in with a bunch of roommates. It's not easy. I showered daily at the gym and I was self-employed, working out of the local library. I didn't even have a Master's, just a plain-old Bachelor's degree. I had to reconcile my ego with my needs.

 

So, as someone whose station is above what I assumed, surely there is someone in your life who can take the dog. And what of the father of the youngest? Can he not help provide for the tot with some cash?

 

Can you google for social services, and get your Head Start money and your SNAP money and your WIC money and all that other stuff that I can't figure out a way not to fund?

 

I think the bottom line in your situation is that you've got to swallow your pride, and do what it takes. For example, my observation about the boyfriend went unchallenged, so unless he's living off of the meager fat of the land, I don't see how you can ditch him until you move up. That would be one example of doing what it takes. Another would be ditching the dog, but I won't belabor that point.

 

And while it is quite egalitarian of you to work for a non-profit, their pay scales don't compare to private industry and even if you move up, I can't imagine you'll make a lot of money. So, maybe you need to examine your motives, and find a job where you can cash in, and help people on the weekends instead. Maybe you can do what I did, and convert all your education to a living in your own business. I don't know.

 

You could probably provide daycare for a couple of kids for twice what you're making, and it would follow that if you take on three kids, you'd be making 3X that... at the low end. You might use your credentials to sell a wholesome, education enriched environment, replete with reading and classical music and healthy food vs. whatever it is that they watch on TV all day long.

 

What's this master's degree in, anyway?

Edited April 27, 2015 by mightycpa

[JustAddIce]

I'm not the kind of person who believes in giving up an animal I committed to taking care of just because I fell on some hard times, and I actually do have job skills- I work for a non-profit, and it's low paying, but if you stick around, you move up quickly in this agency. You're assuming I have no skills. I have a master's degree. It doesn't mean I can get a high paying job immediately. That's not reality in today's workforce.

 

And I am the one who is fed up. With Him.

 

I was looking for helpful ideas, not to just be bashed. Thanks.

 

You spent money to replace your "music equipment" instead of paying bills. Wow. I agree with mightycpa that "You can't tell the difference between a luxury and a need".

 

Having a master's degree is different than having marketable skills. How long do you have to "stick around" to be able to make the salary you want?

 

Since you work for a non-profit agency,shouldn't you be well versed on how to help people whose income are just above the threshold (for WIC, etc)? If you don't, network, network, network to find the answer. The non-profit community tends to be very supportive of each other.

 

Getting out of "this dump" will require making a lot sacrifices. Are you ready to make a change? Then make a plan.

 

Good luck.

Edited April 27, 2015 by JustAddIce

[carhill]

Reading this thread, what jumps out at me is this:

 

Back story is that we're living in substandard housing in order to be close to his business, which was supposed to be temporary. He is lazy, and messy, and won't get on board with me to fix the place up, or move. So I find myself always nagging him, and arguing all the time. Instead of getting off his butt, he just labels me as a problem getting in the way of his time to relax and causing him stress. He's very sweet to our daughter, but never to me.

 

OK, some questions:

 

1. Is the substandard housing owned or rented and what is the ownership/rental arrangement?

 

2. Do you have any sort of formal parenting agreement in place with your BF and/or is his name on your child's birth certificate?

 

3. Are you currently set up for MedicAid for health care for yourselves and the child? If you leave, you should qualify if not already.

 

4. Is your goal to live independently with your child with visitation for father?

 

5. Can you network to temp re-home your animal during this transition? Not adopt it out but a temporary arrangement until you get settled, with board support.

 

You may not like to hear this but I've known single mothers to purposely impoverish themselves to get on government support and then work the underground to supplement until they get established. Some were simply ending relationships and others were getting away from violent or abusive husbands or boyfriends. They did what they had to do to survive, even if it meant a temporary suspension of pride and dignity.

 

IMO, no easy answers.

[joseb]

OP has no car remember, so changing car/living in car won' t be an option.

It's a tough situation. A lot of good advice on saving money so far.

 

You haven't talked much about your BF, is it definitely a done deal?

Edited April 28, 2015 by joseb

[Hopeful714]

In so far as the dog, some agency's that protect animals may be able to direct to to "foster" care for your dog till you get back on your feet. My neighbor fosters dogs year round till they are adopted....so it exists.

 

Also if you dial 211 on the phone it is a service that can link you... or help you find whatever type of social services you need. You may find that helpful.

 

I too agree you need and should be conducting a job search submitting at least 10 resumes per week every week till you land a job that pays a bit better.

 

Good luck and God bless......never give up.

[shell_fish]

You spent money to replace your "music equipment" instead of paying bills. Wow. I agree with mightycpa that "You can't tell the difference between a luxury and a need".

 

That equipment was going to be used to play some paying gigs that I have coming up, and he has money in savings that he can use to pay the bills, since he didn't offer to replace the equipment that was stolen due to his leaving the door unlocked. I did NEED that equipment.

[Methodical]

Okay, I will give you my story...

 

I ended an unhealthy the relationship a week before the Northridge earthquake occurred. In the process of losing a boyfriend, I also lost a place to live and all my belongings. Except my car and a cat.

 

I lived in my car for almost six month - while working on a Master's Degree... I lived on Subway sandwiches for a long time. A 12" sandwich was purchased in the morning, sustaining me throughout the day.

 

When I finally did get an apartment, my food budget was about $15 a week. I established relationships with butchers to have them save me bones and chicken backs from which I could make stock. I only shopped at Hispanic and Chinese grocery stores because they would usually sell off their almost-rotting vegetables for pennies and that is what I would use to make the stock. I would also buy fresher vegetables and make a pot of soup once a week; that, with a carton of milk, eggs, and a single loaf of bread is all I would have to eat for the week. My cat ate some of my scraps because cat food was too expensive.

 

New clothes *only* came from the Goodwill and that is a habit I have retained to this day, knowing that when it is really hot outside, no one will be there looking at the cashmere sweaters or coats.

 

I lived in a big city and I also was really good at haunting the upper-end hotels that often hosted events. I can't tell you how often giant platters of food are set up in hallways near where conventions are being staged. I would - yes - steal food by dressing up to look like I fit and mingle in when lunch was being served. If I stayed after lunch - when everyone goes back into their sessions - I would bag-up some of the food (cold cuts, mostly) to take home.

 

Does this help?

 

Of all the threads and posts I have read, this is probably one the most compelling. I admire you for having shared this. You are living proof that willpower, determination, and being resourceful makes a difference.