Ex not respecting my no contact policy

[Tone Loc]

I was involved with a girl and after some time I decided to cut all contact with her because I'm seeing two other women, I was actively involved with all three women at the same time but now I want to cut contact with the girl in question because I don't want her. I've got what I need and I want her out of the picture permanent.

 

Anyway, she didn't respect NC and she sent me a letter. I went through seven days and she sent a letter in the mail, which was disappointing as I'm sick and tired of hearing from her and my other ladies keep telling me to ditch her. I wish I never told her my address, that was a dumb move from me. So after I got her letter, we got back together but broke it off soon afterwards. Now it's been 6 straight days of NC and things are great for me with my other two ladies. Only problem is, I'm really worried that the girl is going to text me or send me another letter or call me up, she still has my address and number unfortunately.

 

So here's my question - if she attempts to contact me again (which is likely as she's very clingy) how do I deal with that? Should I talk to her? She's a nasty piece of work. I found out she was cheating on me with lots of other guys and she's already back with her ex, she's obsessed with him. She's so clingy, that's the problem.

 

Thanks for reading.

[embeu]

If she contacts you again the first thing you do is to tell her straight that its over and that you dont want any more contact with her. Tell her its because she was cheating and if she does not leave you alone you will tell her boyfriend.

 

After that block her.

 

If she doesnt take the hint you have to ignore her.

[d0nnivain]

It's simple, you block her electronically & you tear up any snail mail letters

without reading them

 

If she shows up you say I'm sorry you aren't getting the message but we are over & you need to stop chasing me & get on with your life.

[Jessie1231]

I'm not sure how you consider what she did cheating when you're seeing two other women but ok. Why haven't you blocked her number? That would be the first step. And if she writes any other letters, just don't respond. Or if you do respond, just say thanks but no thanks.

[spiderowl]

I don't get any feeling of empathy from you in your posting. It could be that you had that but have got fed up and lost all patience, I don't know.

 

How could she cheat on you when you were seeing three women at the same time? Was she supposed to be monogamous while you were seeing others? It seems a weird sort of arrangement to me.

 

Regardless of the above, the simplest thing to do would be to send her a text or email saying the relationship is over and you don't want any more contact with her. If she contacts you after that, then you can safely ignore it as you have informed her of the situation.

 

It all sounds a bit like it was doomed from the start with all the multiple relationship issues.

Edited April 26, 2015 by spiderowl

[Tone Loc]

Thirteen days NC and going strong, today was a good day it does get easier.

[gnick]

Have some empathy. You went out with her so you must have liked something at one time. You don't have to treat people like **** just because you're done with them. Just tell her you want to pursue the other women .say it as many times as it takes.

[OK_computer]

Have some empathy. You went out with her so you must have liked something at one time. You don't have to treat people like **** just because you're done with them. Just tell her you want to pursue the other women .say it as many times as it takes.

 

100% correct.

 

Wait...you told you're going NC and then when you got a letter from her and you got back together with her?

[OK_computer]

Thirteen days NC and going strong, today was a good day it does get easier.

 

Easier for whom?

[Tone Loc]

100% correct.

 

Wait...you told you're going NC and then when you got a letter from her and you got back together with her?

 

The first time I went NC, I didn't tell her, I just went in cold and she wasn't expecting it, so she sent me a letter in the mail because she knows my address (I wish I never told her). After the letter, we got back together, then I broke it off after about a week and now I'm at 13 days NC, not a peep from her but I'm prepared to be disappointed, she's immature and inconsiderate. I'm not the one who is lacking in empathy, far be it for me to claim to be a saint but she's truly a vile human being.

[Tone Loc]

Easier for whom?

 

Easier for me, better for both parties involved after a break up. Takes time. To heal, at my current trajectory I predict I'll be well on the way to becoming healed by the end of this month and completely over her after a few months. It's on her to respect the NC rule now because I'm tired of being messed around, time for me to move on.

[OK_computer]

The first time I went NC, I didn't tell her, I just went in cold and she wasn't expecting it, so she sent me a letter in the mail because she knows my address (I wish I never told her). After the letter, we got back together, then I broke it off after about a week and now I'm at 13 days NC, not a peep from her but I'm prepared to be disappointed, she's immature and inconsiderate. I'm not the one who is lacking in empathy, far be it for me to claim to be a saint but she's truly a vile human being.

 

What did she do that's so vile?

[Tone Loc]

What did she do that's so vile?

 

Where do I begin!

 

- slapped me and hit me many times, she's VERY violent

- had sex with lots of men behind my back

- sexting lots of men

- using dating websites to find men to sleep with

- chose her ex over me (she's always been obsessed with him, she kept talking to him the whole time I was with her)

- broke up with me and cut contact on several occasions previously

- threatened to commit suicide if I left her

 

Yet I still love her.

[ravfour4]

From your posts, it doesn't sound like you care about her at all AND you have two other women to go to who are making fun of this third woman.

 

Sounds like a decent mindset and situation to move forward in, just throw the letters away and pay those other 2 women some attention.

[OK_computer]

do the other 2 women know each other?

[Clarence_Boddicker]

You know that Funky Cold Medina is a monster.

 

 

If she sends you another letter, do like the song days & Return to sender.

[Tone Loc]

do the other 2 women know each other?

 

In a way. They know of each other because I've told each of them about the other, but they haven't met one another.

[Tone Loc]

You know that Funky Cold Medina is a monster.

 

 

If she sends you another letter, do like the song days & Return to sender.

 

Haha I like this! Cheers dude I was thinking of burning any further letters, but this sounds better

[Tone Loc]

From your posts, it doesn't sound like you care about her at all AND you have two other women to go to who are making fun of this third woman.

 

Sounds like a decent mindset and situation to move forward in, just throw the letters away and pay those other 2 women some attention.

 

I do care about her an awful lot, very much. I've always loved her, for better or worse. I gave her so much time and attention but it was all for nothing. It's not so easy to move forward. I was involved with her for nine months in a toxic relationship without ever being able to accept that pain drove the love, that's how it is. If anything, I'm guilty of paying my women too much attention and caring too much. But I won't get attached to anyone again, I hope.

[OK_computer]

I do care about her an awful lot, very much. I've always loved her, for better or worse. I gave her so much time and attention but it was all for nothing. It's not so easy to move forward. I was involved with her for nine months in a toxic relationship without ever being able to accept that pain drove the love, that's how it is. If anything, I'm guilty of paying my women too much attention and caring too much. But I won't get attached to anyone again, I hope.

 

I know the feeling of a girl being a despo for you meanwhile she's still all over her ex...wat the hell is that?

 

Good thing you bailed, no one deserves to be hit/abused/etc.

You dont put your hands on someone, period.

[Tone Loc]

I know the feeling of a girl being a despo for you meanwhile she's still all over her ex...wat the hell is that?

 

Good thing you bailed, no one deserves to be hit/abused/etc.

You dont put your hands on someone, period.

 

Can you believe, she'd literally be sexting her ex on the phone while we're together in bed! It was incredibly annoying how she was obsessed with her ex. Who the hell stays in contact with their ex a YEAR after a break up! Like I wasn't enough with her. And now she's going to move to a different city so she could be with him!!! And often, while we're in bed, she'll storm out of the room and I'd have to beg her to come back. And last time I saw her about two weeks ago, she slapped me in the face and made my lip bleed while I was driving, I've never met such a violent female! She hit me so much that day that she made me cry, I couldn't take it. I'm scared of her now, for a small girl she's quite violent.

 

Ahh I'm just rambling, sorry.

[OK_computer]

Can you believe, she'd literally be sexting her ex on the phone while we're together in bed! It was incredibly annoying how she was obsessed with her ex. Who the hell stays in contact with their ex a YEAR after a break up! Like I wasn't enough with her. And now she's going to move to a different city so she could be with him!!! And often, while we're in bed, she'll storm out of the room and I'd have to beg her to come back. And last time I saw her about two weeks ago, she slapped me in the face and made my lip bleed while I was driving, I've never met such a violent female! She hit me so much that day that she made me cry, I couldn't take it. I'm scared of her now, for a small girl she's quite violent.

 

Ahh I'm just rambling, sorry.

 

It's all good bro Sounds like toxic RS with a really unstable and immature girl. Complete pyschopath! You dodged a bullet! Don't go into thinking your'e not enough, that's a slippery slope. Focus on your other propsects and get back to where you were before.

[Tone Loc]

It's all good bro Sounds like toxic RS with a really unstable and immature girl. Complete pyschopath! You dodged a bullet! Don't go into thinking your'e not enough, that's a slippery slope. Focus on your other propsects and get back to where you were before.

 

Thanks for your comments mate, it's nice to vent sometimes and you're right, I agree with you, thanks again

[Tone Loc]

Update:

 

I've now completed 16 days of NC. On day 14 (couple of days ago), my ex called my mobile number, twice, I didn't pick up of course, but I was very annoyed and frustrated at her refusal to accept the break up and her attempts at continued communication, I'm having none of it. I won't give her the chance to hurt me anymore, I'm in a good place and I've got two good ladies to please.

 

The day after she tried to call, I changed my number. I've cut the cancer out almost completely, hopefully this will be the last time I ever receive any attempt at communication from her! She doesn't have my number, I've blocked her email, and I've stopped following her online profile. I feel safe now lol I already feel like I'm slowly beginning to forget her, I'm forgetting what her face looks like, I'm forgetting the sound of her voice...I'm sure after 60 days of NC she'll be nothing more than a distant memory that has faded into the black.

 

Ahh today feels like it's going to be a good day.

[Tone Loc]

I love her so much but I'm happy to let her go, we've got two completely separate lives now. She's a stranger to me, I've removed myself from her world and I have no idea whatsoever about what's been happening in her life over the past couple of weeks. Feel so good! I have no intention to contact her ever again, it's finally over.