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Sex with Ex, never again


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GreenWellington

Made the biggest mistake yesterday night. My ex-girlfriend left me two weeks ago. It was for the most part a friendly break up, although I still wanted to continue. She didn't. It took her two weeks to finally give me my things back. She came last night after always putting it off. She was supposed to drop my key and things in my mailbox and leave, but I caught her as I was leaving my place on the street. We talked a bit and went back to my place because it was cold.

 

Mutual break ups are hard..you have no reason to hate the person. You want to. I wish I could hate her, it would be much easier to move on. But I don't. We were talking about the break up, the reasons, etc. on my couch. Next thing I know we're cuddling and she then starts kissing me. Next thing we know, we are then having full-on sex. We spent the evening together as if nothing ever happened, we had sex three times during the night until she called a taxi to go home around midnight. Before she leaves I ask ''What now?''. Her response was ''I don't know''. She then slipped out my door as she had done so many times before during the past year spent together, and it's the last time I'll ever see her again.

 

Today we texted. She said she stood by her decision: we were NOT getting back together. She apologized for everything. I lashed out asking why she could do this to me knowing very well that I wanted her back. Word of advice to everyone although it's fairly obvious. NEVER have sex with an ex. I'm back at square ****ing one today. It confused the heck out of me. I have to admit the sex was amazing...the good kind of break up sex. But was it worth it? Heck no.

 

I'll be starting NC for real this time. Changing my phone number and making sure there is NO way she can ever contact me again. This is hard.

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I cant imagine the pain you must feel and I know how awful ot feels to be almost tricked into a situation like that. Use this experience to close that chapter in your life. Cut all contact and focus on healing yourself. I wish you luck in your life

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What I've learned after over 30 days no contact and being dumped after 3 years. Once it's over, it's over. No contact will heal you. I promise you that. It's very hard to heal but very worth it. You'll find the right one. Very sorry to hear you allowed yourself to get hurt, but we all do that once or twice after a break-up.

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casey.lives

don't do that. it's your fault for being so easy. you obviously have problems and you are using cheap means to resolve them. you broke up. why are you whoring yourself, in the first place???

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I'm sorry OP. Everyone makes mistakes after a breakup. We're all human. No you shouldn't have had sex with your ex, and no you weren't tricked, but you're human.

 

Just go strict NC & block her number.

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Simon Phoenix

Yeah dude, it's just as much your fault as it was hers. And let this be a lesson to you, do not assume the other person knows or agrees with what you are thinking.

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Only one thing to do in this situation. When she walks out the door, tell her you had a great time, but you're not up for being just a lover and nothing else will do. Tell her to contact you if she feels the same way.

 

Then walk on, look after yourself and don't contact her. If she contacts you, and if she still likes you she will, be firm in your decision. But keep walking on, looking after yourself and when you're ready seeing other women.

 

Moving on and looking after yourself is what could bring her back to you. But only if you do it for you.

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Sounds like "Goodbye sex" to me. The last hurrah...

 

I remember when one of my exes and I mutually split we lived together and continued to have sex for a further 2 weeks until he moved out. It was very tender and close because we knew once that was done that would be it...

 

We cared about each other and that was our way of showing each other...

 

No contact for you and stay away so you can heal.

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GreenWellington

Yeah, I think in her eyes it was ''goodbye sex'' and I just got incredibly hopeful and didnt see it that way. We should have never gone back to my place and I do admit that I am definitely at fault in part..but who wouldnt cling on to that hope after a fresh break up? And who would say no to sex with the person you still love? I know that logically the answer wouldve been to refuse and get out of that situation asap, but emotions took over. I wouldn't go as far as to say I was ''whoring'' myself out though, and I'm not victimizing myself at all or blaming her. I just fell victim to my own feelings that were still there and couldn't resist. For that one night it's as if nothing ever happened. It still feels like a hazy dream/blur as I write this. But I'm manning up now and moving on, I now know her intentions are not at all aligned with mine..

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But I'm manning up now and moving on, I now know her intentions are not at all aligned with mine..

 

You now have closure.

No more hoping and wishing, a clear way forward for you.

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