Jessica_x Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 (edited) I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Things have been overall wonderful until about 6 months ago. We are best friends, have fun together, always had a loving, fun, passionate relationship. But things got bad. He now handles arguments really terribly. He gets frustrated very easily and has no self control. He is addicted to a video game called World of Warcraft, but now he is on for 8-12+ hours a day. If I try to talk to him about it, it turns into a HUGE blown up argument and he tries to tell me I'm needy and posessive... when I don't really care if he has other hobbies, but if it's causing him to treat me different then it's a problem. The verbal abuse is really bad. Every single argument we get into, he claims he wants to break up with me. He calls me crazy, insane, stupid, and he loves calling me a bitch. The other night I tried talking to him about something important on how I felt about something, and he kept turning the tables around. "WHY DON'T YOU CHANGE?" when I wasn't demanding him to change or anything at all, so I hung up. I got like 20 texts saying "Don't ever ****ing call me again, **** you bitch, I'm breaking up with you." etc etc. I didn't reply to any. I just went to sleep and the next morning he texted me with "sorry" and acted like nothing happened. Then yesterday I asked him to do something with me, but he said no he wanted to play WoW (when he has been playing every single day for 8-12+ hours for months). and I just said "Really?...." and he called me a crazy bitch and talked about breaking up again. A couple months ago, I did something small and it made him angry. He called me a bitch and the c word (you know the word, I don't even want to say it). Then he said "Why do you think I call you names, bitch? Think long and hard why I call you degrading names" as if I deserve it. Then later he tried to sweet talk me as if nothing happened. If I ask him if he wants this, he says "more than anything. I just get mad and say things." I want to hold onto the good but where did this all go wrong? I am so lost. Please advice. Edited April 26, 2015 by Jessica_x Link to post Share on other sites
Clarkwg Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Things have been overall wonderful until about 6 months ago. We are best friends, have fun together, always had a loving, fun, passionate relationship. But things got bad. He now handles arguments really terribly. He gets frustrated very easily and has no self control. He is addicted to a video game called World of Warcraft, but now he is on for 8-12+ hours a day. If I try to talk to him about it, it turns into a HUGE blown up argument and he tries to tell me I'm needy and posessive... when I don't really care if he has other hobbies, but if it's causing him to treat me different then it's a problem. The verbal abuse is really bad. Every single argument we get into, he claims he wants to break up with me. He calls me crazy, insane, stupid, and he loves calling me a bitch. The other night I tried talking to him about something important on how I felt about something, and he kept turning the tables around. "WHY DON'T YOU CHANGE?" when I wasn't demanding him to change or anything at all, so I hung up. I got like 20 texts saying "Don't ever ****ing call me again, **** you bitch, I'm breaking up with you." etc etc. I didn't reply to any. I just went to sleep and the next morning he texted me with "sorry" and acted like nothing happened. Then yesterday I asked him to do something with me, but he said no he wanted to play WoW (when he has been playing every single day for 8-12+ hours for months). and I just said "Really?...." and he called me a crazy bitch and talked about breaking up again. A couple months ago, I did something small and it made him angry. He called me a bitch and the c word (you know the word, I don't even want to say it). Then he said "Why do you think I call you names, bitch? Think long and hard why I call you degrading names" as if I deserve it. Then later he tried to sweet talk me as if nothing happened. If I ask him if he wants this, he says "more than anything. I just get mad and say things." I want to hold onto the good but where did this all go wrong? I am so lost. Please advice. He obviously has little or no respect for you to keep speaking to you like that. It also seems his priority in life is his computer game. I guess you have to accept that that is the person he is & decide if you want to be in a relationship with someone like that or if you would be better out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Twigyy Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 What do you think is his reason behind him being verbally abusive? Video games? After you've found the reason you'll need to work with him in making the situation better. If he gets aggressive you'll need to back off as it won't solve anything. But if he have no intention of making the relationship better for both of you, you'll have to leave him.. No one is deserved to be called a b*tch. It is very disrespectful and selfish.. Link to post Share on other sites
NC-Thomas Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Being verbally abused, why is it so hard to leave? Because you find it very hard to stand up for yourself and have boundaries and act on them. First you give them a warning, maybe even twice, then you have the serious talk to send a clear message. If that doesn't help you pack your bags, or lose yourself. Don't let people walk over you. Do it once, and thet will do it again if you dont act! Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 (edited) Oh he sounds like a real keeper. Not. I think you are dealing with a disordered person who is totally abusing you. You need to get out of this situation before you suffer any more damage. This isn't just about him being addicted to video games (though I can't imagine having a 'relationship' with someone who played wow for 12 hours a day). He is addicted to a video game called World of Warcraft, but now he is on for 8-12+ hours a day. If I try to talk to him about it, it turns into a HUGE blown up argument and he tries to tell me I'm needy and posessive... Trying to make you feel bad, that the issue is your fault. Don't fall for it. Typical abuser tactics. The verbal abuse is really bad. Every single argument we get into, he claims he wants to break up with me. He calls me crazy, insane, stupid, and he loves calling me a bitch. Yeah - you do realise that is not on right? You need to dump him asap. I got like 20 texts saying "Don't ever ****ing call me again, **** you bitch, I'm breaking up with you." etc etc. I didn't reply to any. I just went to sleep and the next morning he texted me with "sorry" and acted like nothing happened. ... A couple months ago, I did something small and it made him angry. He called me a bitch and the c word (you know the word, I don't even want to say it). Then he said "Why do you think I call you names, bitch? Think long and hard why I call you degrading names" as if I deserve it. Then later he tried to sweet talk me as if nothing happened. Threatening to break up to gain power over you, and then being "sorry" next day is also typical abusive behaviour. The line "Why do you think I call you names, bitch? Think long and hard why I call you degrading names" as if I deserve it. is especially disturbing. To be honest, I don't know why you didn't walk at that point. I'm guessing you have become quite codependant, and feel like it's too hard to walk away. But you need to leave before it gets worse (and it will get worse). He may well get physicially violent. When you dump him, I'd suggest not doing it in person if you can. He is an abusive *******, and does not deserver any kind of nice explanation. Plus it could get really nasty. Or he will be "sorry" and promise to change, which isnt going to happen. Get out now as the longer the wait, the harder it is. Edited April 28, 2015 by joseb Link to post Share on other sites
SLee Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Get out. Get out. Get out. Whatever you have to do, whoever you have to rely on. Get out. I've seen this play out too many times and it's heartbreaking. He has NO respect for you. You do not deserve that. If you wait, he's just going to crush you more and make your emotional well being worse. This isn't your fault, at all. He's awful and doesn't deserve you. I know it's hard, but you have to be strong here and you can do it. You just have to focus on your own self-respect and get out of there. Abuse only escalates. I'm not saying he will get physically violent necessarily, but this is not healthy and it's only going to hurt you more and make it even harder to leave. Get out. Tell your family and friends, seek support from them. If you have access to mental health care, use it. And heal. You are a strong person who is 100% capable of rising above this and getting better. And you will. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 So this just started 6 months ago right? That makes me think there has been a change in his life. Maybe he's cheating on you? Maybe he's acting awful in an attempt to force you to dump him, so he doesn't have to do it? Something's definitely up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Go to his house late at night and cut his internet connection. It's your only hope. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 So this just started 6 months ago right? That makes me think there has been a change in his life. Maybe he's cheating on you? Maybe he's acting awful in an attempt to force you to dump him, so he doesn't have to do it? Something's definitely up. I agree if he was fine until 6 months ago, then there is definitely something up. OP I guess he is addicted and resents your interference into his gameplay or he is mentally ill and is using the game as a form of self medication. Either way he needs help, and if he will not accept help, then you need to leave for your own sanity. Link to post Share on other sites
Situasian Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 OP you need to really really look at leaving this relationship. My ex did pretty much everything your partner is doing to you (besides being addicted to games). She would literally hit me in front of her own family and then have a massive go at me saying i was the one in the wrong and constantly text me abusive messages especially when she is drunk. Then the next day or even when she has settled down she would try to sweet talk her way back with me and it worked everytime. You shouldnt and cant put up with this behaviour Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 You will leave him when you determine you deserve better. Right now you don't believe that. Link to post Share on other sites
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