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My boyfriend is ignoring me


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after doing some research on the Internet i decided to sign up on here and get some advise . I've been talking my friends ears off for the last 24 hours already about this . Me and my boyfriend got into a fight Saturday . He had my phone in his hand while a guy tried to FaceTime me . The guy that tried to FaceTime me is really nobody & I use to chat with him before me and my boyfriend started dating . I explained it to him but he acted different ever since .

 

We argued Saturday but made up eventually . Sunday we had a good day but I was still scared in the back off my mind that he would bring it up again . Sunday night I dropped him off he gave me a kiss a hug told me he loves me & he even left a pair of his sneakers in my car ( on purpose because he didn't want to carry that much stuff since he was shopping Saturday ) . When I got home I called him he wished me a good night and everything was okay . Then Monday morning he texted me he needed a break from us and he wants to think . I tried to stay cool and said I would give him his time . After that I seen that he deleted a pic of me off Facebook so I called him and asked him if he was trying to end this or whatever . He said he had to go and he needed space and hung up .

 

An hour later he sent me a text basically saying he can't trust me right now and he don't know if he can anymore and wished me a nice week . I texted him back and said I was gonna show him he could trust me changed my number the same day so he wouldn't have to worry about anybody from my past calling me anymore . My mom invited him to dinner for the upcoming weekend I texted him that and that I'm hoping to see him and that I miss him and all . He did read the messages and ignored it . I don't know what to do try to prove him that he can trust me or leave him alone . My mind is going crazy because I do really love him and I'm scared he might breakup with me . :(

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It sounds like he asked for "space" and deleted your pic on Facebook because he's pursuing someone else.

 

He'll most likely ignore you until he knows whether it's going to work out with her or not.

 

Leave him alone -- no more dinner invites (?) or any contact for any reason. I'd assume the relationship is over and try to move on.

 

[For a helpful guide, Google 'breakuprecoveryguide']

 

Good luck and keep posting!

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I don't think he deleted the picture because of someone else , I know how he is he got a quick temper and acts out of emotions . His whole family is on this Facebook and just last week he posted a picture of me saying I'm his future etc... I just don't know if I should keep showing him that he can trust me or let him calm down and hit me up when he's ready ..

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Why would he suddenly not trust you?

 

Sounds like he's projecting his own guilt onto you. Why would he specify he needs a week of "space" if it's not to check out someone else?

 

Unless there's more to the story, there's no other reason I can imagine for him to suddenly out of the blue need a week of space.

 

Why is it up to YOU to prove yourself trustworthy.... when he's the one suddenly asking for a break and disappearing and not answering messages?

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Do what Ruby told you to do. If you did love him give him the space that he wants, and stop texting him.

 

Regarding the jealousy issue, I have that too last time. Here's the thing. Maybe they expect you to spend quality time with them, maybe he is jealous that you don't do this with him, maybe the other guy looks better than him, etc etc. It is all because he has low self esteem, and you have to help him, because it's hard for him to realise it. If you love someone help each other in the relationship, instead of trying to make someone wrong and not fix the issue, or find articles online and rub it in his face, etc.

 

For now just put everything down, give him space, enjoy being alone for awhile. Do whatever that makes you happy, and put away things that makes you upset. Don't chase him, don't stalk him online. If he wants to contact you he will. Good luck!

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Why would he suddenly not trust you?

 

Sounds like he's projecting his own guilt onto you. Why would he specify he needs a week of "space" if it's not to check out someone else?

 

Unless there's more to the story, there's no other reason I can imagine for him to suddenly out of the blue need a week of space.

 

Why is it up to YOU to prove yourself trustworthy.... when he's the one suddenly asking for a break and disappearing and not answering messages?

 

Well he came into the relationship with trust issues and always let me know it takes him a very long time to trust someone and now that another guy tried to FaceTime me he thinks he can't trust me . Everyone says he's overreacting but I can't do nothing and accept it since I don't want a break up . Imma just leave him alone for now and hope he comes back around :(

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Do what Ruby told you to do. If you did love him give him the space that he wants, and stop texting him.

 

Regarding the jealousy issue, I have that too last time. Here's the thing. Maybe they expect you to spend quality time with them, maybe he is jealous that you don't do this with him, maybe the other guy looks better than him, etc etc. It is all because he has low self esteem, and you have to help him, because it's hard for him to realise it. If you love someone help each other in the relationship, instead of trying to make someone wrong and not fix the issue, or find articles online and rub it in his face, etc.

 

For now just put everything down, give him space, enjoy being alone for awhile. Do whatever that makes you happy, and put away things that makes you upset. Don't chase him, don't stalk him online. If he wants to contact you he will. Good luck!

 

Yea I think he has issues and I would love to help him with that but it's hard for him to talk about it , instead he just ignores me and doesn't talk to me for days. Usually when we argue he ignores me and when I call him the next day it's okay just this time it's different but like you said I'll leave him alone and wait from now on even tho it's annoying :(

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I would let him go.

 

Once upon a time I was dumped by a boy I dated on and off for many years. During those off times I had conversations with other guys. During our on time he decided to look at my past conversations and get in a hissy over these conversations.

 

Bottom line is the trust isn't there. He doesn't trust you, perhaps something triggered this or maybe he never did. Ultimately you will be spending all of your time trying to make it appear that you are trustworthy and appear that you are never doing anything wrong - nobody should have to do that.

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Yea I think he has issues and I would love to help him with that but it's hard for him to talk about it , instead he just ignores me and doesn't talk to me for days. Usually when we argue he ignores me and when I call him the next day it's okay just this time it's different but like you said I'll leave him alone and wait from now on even tho it's annoying :(

 

You have to look into arguments in a different way. Instead of trying to be right and find your friends to back you up, you have to make your own choice in making the relationship better for BOTH of you. You can't keep thinking that he doesn't trust you too. If he happens to come back you have to help him slowly fix his issues, instead of finding immediate solutions by arguing, and running away, or ignoring.

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Maybe your right . I always thought if the love is there we can build trust but maybe not . From now on i will just do me and see what happens .

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You have to look into arguments in a different way. Instead of trying to be right and find your friends to back you up, you have to make your own choice in making the relationship better for BOTH of you. You can't keep thinking that he doesn't trust you too. If he happens to come back you have to help him slowly fix his issues, instead of finding immediate solutions by arguing, and running away, or ignoring.

 

I'm trying to help him that's why I want to communicate instead of ignoring each other . But maybe he needs his space , maybe he wants to make me feel bad I don't know . I have no other choice but to wait now :/

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I wouldn't tell my partner that she doesn't trust me, because it is very very hurtful to hear. I see it as people not very willing to open up and communicate, instead of very big trust issues. Just my two cents. :p

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Yes it is especially since I'm trying my hardest to show him that I'm all about him . I always thought he will see one day that I really care and that's there's nobody else but maybe whatever he has been thru in the past made him that way .

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This is pretty simple imo - he's asking for space, so you have no choice but to give it to him. The bigger question is how you react to all this. If everything you say is true and the Facetime guy was innocent and that's the only reason your BF has to feel suspicious, I'd seriously question whether I want such an insecure guy in my life anyway. Could be a blessing in disguise, bc you'd probably have to deal with this sort of behavior forever.

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He's young and immature, and he doesn't quite know how to handle these thoughts of his.

 

What "trust issues" all boils down to is that maybe he got burned once, and now he's projecting somebody else's behavior onto you.

 

It is really tough and unfair to be punished for what somebody else did.

 

Take a pass on this guy. He's more trouble than he's worth. Let somebody else fix him.

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This is pretty simple imo - he's asking for space, so you have no choice but to give it to him. The bigger question is how you react to all this. If everything you say is true and the Facetime guy was innocent and that's the only reason your BF has to feel suspicious, I'd seriously question whether I want such an insecure guy in my life anyway. Could be a blessing in disguise, bc you'd probably have to deal with this sort of behavior forever.

 

I Feel like this is not the way of solving an issue BUT at the end of the day ppl have their flaws & im willing to work with him because other than that he's a very good guy . But we will see if he comes back around or not . I stopped contacting him now

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He's young and immature, and he doesn't quite know how to handle these thoughts of his.

 

What "trust issues" all boils down to is that maybe he got burned once, and now he's projecting somebody else's behavior onto you.

 

It is really tough and unfair to be punished for what somebody else did.

 

Take a pass on this guy. He's more trouble than he's worth. Let somebody else fix him.

 

Don't you think if I show him in time that I'm trustworthy he'll see?

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PegNosePete
Don't you think if I show him in time that I'm trustworthy he'll see?

No, I think he has issues that will not be fixed by positive reinforcement from you.

 

Don't date fixer uppers.

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Cinnamonstix
Don't you think if I show him in time that I'm trustworthy he'll see?

 

I think the issue is more within him. He has to overcome his own trust issues. If you are trustworthy, that is all you can do.

 

He has bailed on the relationship very easily rather than working things through with you. Is that the kind of man you want in your future?

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I think the issue is more within him. He has to overcome his own trust issues. If you are trustworthy, that is all you can do.

 

He has bailed on the relationship very easily rather than working things through with you. Is that the kind of man you want in your future?

 

I would just like to talk about it . Either way if we break up or keep it going and work it out . Ignoring me isn't fair and it's selfish in my opinion . I wouldn't do it to him & ive dealt with bigger issues in my past relationship. Ignoring your partner never solves anything .

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PegNosePete
Ignoring me isn't fair and it's selfish in my opinion .

Yes you're right, he's treating you badly. You should dump him.

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casey.lives

give him space. Be a stable force. He might not be unsure of your feelings but of your ability to withstand. Trust and communication are vital. They are tools used to overcome insecurities and misunderstandings. Sometimes you're walking on the beach, sometimes your walking in the dark forest, sometimes your close and others your a bit distant. Not simply believing in someone .. but KNOWING a person is by your side..knowing that someone wants your safety and happiness as much as you yourself do.. that changes the entire landscape of a relationship. Give him space... just be cool, every time you go through this , you are strengthening and reducing the need for assurance. One day.. he will be so sure and you will know without a doubt that he is all yours and you are all his ... and it's solid love match. That day,that Kodak moment, is when marriage proposals roll off the tongue. Besides, taking space is healthy.

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Don't you think if I show him in time that I'm trustworthy he'll see?
Actually, I do think he'll see that in time, but not on the timeline you're thinking. He's going to have to lose you, and see you with other guys, and you'll have to reject his advances when he begins to realize the error of his ways. That's when he'll see it - when he realizes he's thrown you away because of the past.

 

But now? No way. You see, it isn't about convincing him. Not nearly enough time has passed, and all the reassurance in the world isn't enough. He needs to come to this realization on his own.

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