sutsie Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 A month of a no contact. How do you know if she's the one? how do you know if you truly love her? is love really about self respect or is it about loving that person more than you love yourself? how do you know? what is love? what is TRUE love? Link to post Share on other sites
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Criteria for "The One" 1. You love them. 2. They love you. 3. Neither of you leave the relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 When you're truly in love with someone, you don't have to choose between your self-respect and your feelings for them. If you have to compromise your own best interests to be in a relationship with someone, it isn't love.... it's co-dependency or something else. Real love lifts both people to a higher level -- this is the same for romantic love, or parental love, or the platonic love you have for your close friends and family. You want the best for each other and do everything in your power to help each other grow and be happy. There's no "one" person out there for you.... there are many hundreds of thousands of people you could have a "soul-mate level" type connection with. As you move forward in life, you'll meet more of them until you finally come into contact with one who's happy to stay in a relationship with you for the long haul. That's how I see it, anyway. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sutsie Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 so are you saying at the age of 20 that a girl would be able to make those decisions? that a girl would be able to make such deep decisions? are you saying that whether gigs or whatever else happens that if she makes the decision to break up with you and wants you back that she should be punished with regret that she isn't the one? what is true love? what really makes true love true? what makes love "love"? does anybody really truly know? is it just a feeling or is it a literal and makes sense to everyone? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Why all the gymnastics about the nature of love? Sounds like you're trying to rationalize something. Are you looking for a reason to cling to hope? Are you looking for permission to break NC and contact her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 A good relationship brings out the best in both parties. If it brings out the worst, it isn't worth continuing. Heaven and hell = Hell. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
badpenny Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 When you die, in your well-lived old age, and she is there holding your hand and smiling down at you, you'll know she is 'the one'. Until then, nothing is certain, aside the aforementioned passing, and taxes. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 so are you saying at the age of 20 that a girl would be able to make those decisions? that a girl would be able to make such deep decisions? are you saying that whether gigs or whatever else happens that if she makes the decision to break up with you and wants you back that she should be punished with regret that she isn't the one? what is true love? what really makes true love true? what makes love "love"? does anybody really truly know? is it just a feeling or is it a literal and makes sense to everyone? Everyone in this thread has outlined fairly well about who "the one" is. There could be multiple matches that fit your criteria, there are also cases of people losing their significant other and not wanting/finding a new SO (some loose evidence to support the whole elusive "the one" claim). It's extremely subjective because everyone is looking for different emotional, physical, ethical, moral, and spiritual qualities. It's not unheard of that a 20 year old girl finds a guy she's extremely happy with and settles down for life with that person. Yes, it's extremely rare but it is definitely within the realm of possibilities. Another extremely rare occurrence is a couple taking a break or breaking up, getting back together again, and then realizing that they are meant for each other. Go to the second chances sub forum and look for all the "successful" second chances. They are hard to come by and most of those don't work out. Destroy all of the hope you have of them coming back because the odds are severely stacked against you. Focus on healing. Nobody here lost "the one". You're hurt and looking for something to hold onto. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
DJOkawari Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 I love that: "Nobody here lost the 'one' ", exactly what I needed to hear. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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