found a letter she wrote me...

[ApexTitanium]

Digging through some old stuff I found a letter she wrote me a long while ago (+2 years I'd say).

In the letter she clearly stated how it had been a long time since she had done anything like this and that I had asked for it for so long. I know the letter was old because she had mentioned I should propose to her at the end. That was the last little "I love you" thing she had wrote to me.

 

Her reason for leaving me? I didn't show her I loved her, that she put all she had into it and couldn't do it anymore....yet here I am staring at this letter where she clearly states she hadent given me any handmade "I love you" gifts in a long time. She hadent since then either.

Apparently her idea was I show her all the love I can and not get **** in return...hmmm

 

Ironic....classic throw the blame on the other person to relieve her own guilt.

 

But why the hell do I still feel like she was amazing when she clearly wasn't?

This **** is just so annoying and is eating away at me.....I made myself the bad guy and took all the blame so she could get off scott free....

 

Sorry I just needed to vent this to someone, can't talk to family about it because I'm sure they are tired of hearing it.

 

This feeling sucks......not gonna lie.

[Seeker12]

Hey, you put your ex on a pedestal, i did and am still taking time pulling the shizzle down. Secondly, yea i found letters and stuff from my ex, it was amazing reading them, then i binned them all and couldnt care less, i suggest you do the same, and OMG did i do exactly the same thing, owned up to everything in the whole world lol like it was my fault.

 

The nextdoors cat got run over, yup im sorry even though i was out of the country for that week, i just find after a break up, you try to be more than good to impress your ex, meaning you overcompensate. Plus your ex looks at all the negatives in the relationship in order to fuel herself to move on.

[Riptide91]

Digging through some old stuff I found a letter she wrote me a long while ago (+2 years I'd say).

In the letter she clearly stated how it had been a long time since she had done anything like this and that I had asked for it for so long. I know the letter was old because she had mentioned I should propose to her at the end. That was the last little "I love you" thing she had wrote to me.

 

Her reason for leaving me? I didn't show her I loved her, that she put all she had into it and couldn't do it anymore....yet here I am staring at this letter where she clearly states she hadent given me any handmade "I love you" gifts in a long time. She hadent since then either.

Apparently her idea was I show her all the love I can and not get **** in return...hmmm

 

Ironic....classic throw the blame on the other person to relieve her own guilt.

 

But why the hell do I still feel like she was amazing when she clearly wasn't?

This **** is just so annoying and is eating away at me.....I made myself the bad guy and took all the blame so she could get off scott free....

 

Sorry I just needed to vent this to someone, can't talk to family about it because I'm sure they are tired of hearing it.

 

This feeling sucks......not gonna lie.

 

This strikes home with me real hard Apex, in fact, so hard it kind of changed my mood today. Not your fault, this actual thing pops in my head all the time. I have been moving recently and I found something's my ex drew and wrote for me back in high school (we were together for 6 years). I remembered writing MANY love letters to her when we were young and often wonder if she threw them away when we broke up. It was actually how I won her heart after we had some tough times when I graduated and moved and she was a senior.

 

It's weird to think back about how you could pour your heart and feelings onto a piece of paper or whatever medium you chose to a person who has hurt us so badly.

 

Now I wonder if she left because we stopped doing these things? If she left because I didn't show her I loved her anymore, just said it. To be honest, I know we can't take all the blame as it surely is a two way street, but it definitely makes you think. We're not bad guys, we didn't deserve to get our hearts broke. **** just happens. That's life.

[Seeker12]

This strikes home with me real hard Apex, in fact, so hard it kind of changed my mood today. Not your fault, this actual thing pops in my head all the time. I have been moving recently and I found something's my ex drew and wrote for me back in high school (we were together for 6 years). I remembered writing MANY love letters to her when we were young and often wonder if she threw them away when we broke up. It was actually how I won her heart after we had some tough times when I graduated and moved and she was a senior.

 

It's weird to think back about how you could pour your heart and feelings onto a piece of paper or whatever medium you chose to a person who has hurt us so badly.

 

Now I wonder if she left because we stopped doing these things? If she left because I didn't show her I loved her anymore, just said it. To be honest, I know we can't take all the blame as it surely is a two way street, but it definitely makes you think. We're not bad guys, we didn't deserve to get our hearts broke. **** just happens. That's life.

 

Hey riptide, well to be upfront your ex probably has thrown them away if she did a focussed physical moving on from you, its the typical thing to do so i guess, clearing her mind and all that. But from my single experience, it isnt the defining factor for a girl to leave you? Hey, my ex was all for that notes of affection and all that we were in a 7 year relationship, and i got lazy to be frank, it would sometimes upset her but she understood.

 

But that never was the reason why she left me or why we had to break up. I honestly dont think love is solely verbal, people manifest love in different ways, and i believe my personal manifestation of love is physical, how i behave, what i consider and how i treat a person, even though i may never translate this into words, and my ex knew that.

 

Was she your first? And have you been in contact recently?

[ApexTitanium]

Funny thing is a long time ago we broke up about 4 months into our relationship. She ripped up all the cards and notes I ever made her. After we got back together like two weeks later she spent the time to tape them all back together.

Now though after 5.5 years together and her dumping me, she still has all the stuff I got her, all my notes and stuff in her room. Still carries around the $240 Michael kors purse I got her for her bday in Oct......two months before she threw me away and probably around the time she was planning it.

 

This is what kills me....

When she ripped up my stuff, it showed me she was actually upset and torn up about us not being together, and couldn't look at those gifts. I felt like she really cared.

Now? Her level of "I dont give a ****" is so high she can keep the stuff around and it doesn't even bother her, there's still pics of our engagement on her Facebook.

 

Damn she's a cruel bitch....I need to start cracking into this capt Morgan bottle asap.

[Riptide91]

Hey riptide, well to be upfront your ex probably has thrown them away if she did a focussed physical moving on from you, its the typical thing to do so i guess, clearing her mind and all that. But from my single experience, it isnt the defining factor for a girl to leave you? Hey, my ex was all for that notes of affection and all that we were in a 7 year relationship, and i got lazy to be frank, it would sometimes upset her but she understood.

 

But that never was the reason why she left me or why we had to break up. I honestly dont think love is solely verbal, people manifest love in different ways, and i believe my personal manifestation of love is physical, how i behave, what i consider and how i treat a person, even though i may never translate this into words, and my ex knew that.

 

Was she your first? And have you been in contact recently?

 

Yea I kinda know deep down she got rid of all that. We broke up once in our stretch for about 10 months, I had moved on and was doing well when she came knocking one day - literally - more in love than ever. We rode it out again for about 3 years until last October when she left me. We stayed close for a while and eventually it turned to me begging and the usually breadcrumb crap.

 

She was indeed my first TRUE love, I have had other girlfriends but she was definitely the person I had invested and found what love truly was with. Funny to say that now because maybe the love we had wasn't so true after all. I have been NC for a while now, not too long, and she's tried to contact but I've ignored. I've actually been feeling really awesome lately, even trying to help others best I can. Just saw this post to come help and unfortunately it hit too hard at home.

[Riptide91]

Funny thing is a long time ago we broke up about 4 months into our relationship. She ripped up all the cards and notes I ever made her. After we got back together like two weeks later she spent the time to tape them all back together.

Now though after 5.5 years together and her dumping me, she still has all the stuff I got her, all my notes and stuff in her room. Still carries around the $240 Michael kors purse I got her for her bday in Oct......two months before she threw me away and probably around the time she was planning it.

 

This is what kills me....

When she ripped up my stuff, it showed me she was actually upset and torn up about us not being together, and couldn't look at those gifts. I felt like she really cared.

Now? Her level of "I dont give a ****" is so high she can keep the stuff around and it doesn't even bother her, there's still pics of our engagement on her Facebook.

 

Damn she's a cruel bitch....I need to start cracking into this capt Morgan bottle asap.

 

This is tough, it's weird she can keep all that around without a care or sliver of pain. Maybe that can help you see that she wasn't a caring person and that's usually a quality most men want in a life partner right? I understand the drinking part buddy, I've been there. But sometimes drinking makes it worse and only numbs the feelings we actually need to work on getting over. Moving on will always be hard, some days I feel like a different man, I can't say I think I'm an extremely better person now but I know I haven't attracted any negativeness. Love yourself dude. That's always the first step!