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Just ended four year relationship.


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Hi everyone. just need someone to talk to not doing so well right now, I just ended my four year relationship with my girlfriend. I'm 20 she is 18. I feel like i've just been hit by a train, I am not really sure what to do, I feel like calling her and telling her that i've made a mistake but i know deep down that is more hazardous than helpful. I don't know how to explain it but it just truly deeply hurts to just end a relationship with someone that you did grow to love over such a long period of time. In the past few months I have started to stray, I wouldn't invite her over as much as I use to, I started feeling smothered and choked when she was around me. I began to envy the single people I saw at work, thinking their lives were so less complicated being able to just be by themselves. I don't know really want to do.. She told me I was her soul mate, and she wanted to spend her life with me and at one time I thought that too but my feelings changed as i got older, I just don't know what I should do knowing I broke the heart of someone I do actually care about. And yea..just wanted someone to talk to... Thanks.

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Firstly, you don't need to be single to enjoy yourself or to learn more about yourself. There must be a problem in the relationship that makes you think that way.

 

Maybe your girlfriend was too clingy and needy, which made you think that the relationship taking too much effort and time? Maybe spend some time to think about the relationship, and what went wrong, while giving her some space to think about it too. Avoid being friends as it will never work out. After you spent some time thinking about it, for around two weeks, decide if you really want her. When you've spent some time alone ( Which means no form of contact, no sex or hanging out ), you should be able to see the relationship in a bigger perspective.

 

If you do want her then make effort to reach out to her. You ended the relationship, so don't expect her to reach out for you. At that point of time she might block you on Facebook, block your number, etc. Maybe find her at her place to talk about it. Do not create drama, or try to be friends. The only thing that you can say is:

 

I am sorry, I have regretted my decision, and I want you back.

 

 

But if you think that you two can't be together anymore, do not contact her again. She do not need your breadcrumbs. Give her the space she needs to heal. Do remove her from Facebook and Twitter and stuff.

 

Do spend some time to think about it. It's not worth it to give up someone you love just to have some time alone. You can always have alone time in a relationship. Cheers.

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Your story reminds me of a past time in my life. My girlfriend and I broke up because we were both too young to know what we really wanted. It seems you want to get out and experience things and you should at your age. I'm not saying you can't do this with a significant other but sometimes it can be challenging to meet your expectations and someone else's. Honestly, I say do what you think is right here. If you want this girl then very intelligently tell her how you feel and attempt to fix things otherwise chalk it up to a life lesson and go find yourself. You're 20, you can't even legally drink, there is a lot of life to live my friend. Follow your heart and don't look back.

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Take comfort in the fact that you have been honest with her. The last thing she needs is for you to "play act" and remain in a relationship that makes you feel "smothered." Just realize one thing my man, relationships require work and purposeful attention. Being alone has some advantages but it's not all that it's cracked up to be - at least from my perspective. Blessings!

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