yankeefan4255 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Ex just broke things off on Sunday night. We dated for 6 months, shes 24, Im 21, and I'm her first serious BF - yeah late. I, and my friends/family including a psychiatrist have done some analyzing of her, and we think she has basically stopped herself from loving. We never got into the i love you stage, and I didn't want to pressure it even though I did/do. But we make a good match I feel, but she doesn't have much perspective to go off of - so yeah I think/hope tht she's just cut herself off from feeling. From the get go, she was always questioning herself, saying stuff like "I dont know how this works". She was rather sheltered growing up I feel, and her parents dont show much affection for one another. On top of that though, her sis is gettin married in a month, and their relationship looks perfect from the outside, so she looks up to them greatly, but is obviously not inside the relationship. I'm doing no contact now...but Im really hoping that things will work out between us. Shes in grad school, im about to graduate from undergrad and then head off to grad school 1.5 hours away. Any ideas...on whether you think we could get back together? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 She wasn't feeling it, she ended it, it happens. That is what dating and having relationships is about. We try things out, sometimes they work, sometimes they don't, if they don't, we move on... Link to post Share on other sites
Author yankeefan4255 Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 I should mention we were both crying when we broke up, and before she left, she turned around and said "i dont want to lose you". She said over and over "I have to do this, I have to try". Could this break spark something in her? Could no contact spark something? Link to post Share on other sites
hunk Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Assuming she is "incapable of loving" or "stops herself from feeling" are extremely dangerous things to presume. Maybe she just wasn't feeling it? No amount of analyzing from you or your parents is going to influence her feelings towards you and the relationship. She isn't some science anomaly to dissect and analyze and study. She most likely ended things because she wasn't into it. Otherwise she wouldn'tve ended things. The fact this was her first relationship actually strengthens this argument. If she was feeling it, you would feel the world shift because all of the excitement and emotion that comes with your first love and first real relationship would be shared with you and directed at you. She just wasn't into it man. Let this one go. No one can give you an answer to the questions you want, so all you can do is leave it. Doing anything else will make the situation worse and reinforce her decision. If she decides she made a mistake, she'll let you know. That's all there is to it. Link to post Share on other sites
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