LivingHalfAlive13 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 That dreading pain of them not beside you upon waking. Or waking up and reaching for your phone and looking for a hopeful text that isn't there? I think this is one of those horrid things to deal with. Such a great start to the day! Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 That dreading pain of them not beside you upon waking. Or waking up and reaching for your phone and looking for a hopeful text that isn't there? I think this is one of those horrid things to deal with. Such a great start to the day! I feel it every day. I'm only 25 years old, only 50 years more to go with this pain.... Link to post Share on other sites
seminoles84 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I feel it every day. I'm only 25 years old, only 50 years more to go with this pain.... Listen folks. I understand breaking up is painful but sometimes you gotta get a grip and stop being so melodramatic. 25? Ha! You got so much more to look forward to and one day you'll look back at these type of post and cringe. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LivingHalfAlive13 Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 I think during heartbreak you can be however you feel. If someone feels melodramatic then by all means it's how they deal. Anyone knows this is one of the worst feelings in the world. But that's besides the point.... For this thread we are all just relating to one of the *****ry parts of heartache 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Listen folks. I understand breaking up is painful but sometimes you gotta get a grip and stop being so melodramatic. 25? Ha! You got so much more to look forward to and one day you'll look back at these type of post and cringe. For to look forward to, like what? More heartbreaks? More wasted time? Yes, I can't wait. Link to post Share on other sites
seminoles84 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 For to look forward to, like what? More heartbreaks? More wasted time? Yes, I can't wait. More being melodramatic. You have to man up at some point. You shouldn't make a partner your whole life. You're right, with this sort of attitude you probably don't have any future prospects with a partner. Link to post Share on other sites
seminoles84 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I think during heartbreak you can be however you feel. If someone feels melodramatic then by all means it's how they deal. Anyone knows this is one of the worst feelings in the world. But that's besides the point.... For this thread we are all just relating to one of the *****ry parts of heartache Sure, everyone feels this way after a break up for the most part. Why create a thread to just whine about how terrible things are and how you will never find love ever again. Why not be a little pro active and find some positives? Post like "I'm 25 and have 50 more years of dealing with this" are negatively reenforcing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LivingHalfAlive13 Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 This thread was created to relate. I should know im the OP. I think you need sensitivity training 101....Everyone deals differently. Just cause its not how you deal doesn't mean it's right wrong bad or good. If we are not hurting anyone or ourselves especially in the begining stages who cares 3 Link to post Share on other sites
seminoles84 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 This thread was created to relate. I should know im the OP. I think you need sensitivity training 101....Everyone deals differently. Just cause its not how you deal doesn't mean it's right wrong bad or good. If we are not hurting anyone or ourselves especially in the begining stages who cares I wasn't specifically talking to you anyway. I'm talking to Jon. I've been around long enough that I know there are certain posters that need tough love (you know who you all are). Sorry if you took offense. My point stands though (about JONS post) that comments like the one he made are negatively reenforcing. Life could be ten times worse than a break up and people need to remember that. He will not go 50 years waking up with this feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 (edited) More being melodramatic. You have to man up at some point. You shouldn't make a partner your whole life. You're right, with this sort of attitude you probably don't have any future prospects with a partner. Too bad, I do. Maybe with this attitude i'll finally have the balls to off myself. At this point that outcome is inevitable, I realize now that life is better to not be lived at all. It's not just one break-up, there's A LOT more that went with it. Somethings you just CAN'T find within yourself, I don't understand why people don't understand this by now. No man is created equal, some are weaker than most. At least I now know what pool I belong in The OP should know this too. Although it's negative reinforcement sometimes there just isn't a solution. You're saying we need to "man up" and deal with this, but what if we don't want to? Life can be 10x worst than dealing with a break-up? LOL So now theirs a fixed capacity to everyone's emotional threshold? Look, i'm sure when you're going through a break-up, a lost in the family, or seeing your car being repossessed, you're not thinking about the poor starving kids around the world lol Edited March 31, 2015 by Jonp219 Link to post Share on other sites
Strength in Healing Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 That dreading pain of them not beside you upon waking. Or waking up and reaching for your phone and looking for a hopeful text that isn't there? I think this is one of those horrid things to deal with. Such a great start to the day! The pain is your friend, understand that. It is your brain processing and healing. Accepting. The key is to now accept this, and learn to befriend it. The pain is a great gasoline to your fire, so learn to welcome the pain, and utilize it. It is a great partner. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
dragonfire13 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Aww bless you hun, it's such a sucky feeling I know but trust me that feeling will go eventually I promise. Take it from someone who has now had a few relationships behind her lol. You'll start to forget then when you least expect it, you'll meet someone new, pushing that person further away from your memory. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
seminoles84 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 You're saying we need to "man up" and deal with this, but what if we don't want to? Deep down you do but *I think* you find it easier to succumb to the negative feelings. Coming out of the depression is much harder then trying to figure out the underlying issue but you have to be more positive. It's not easy, I know. Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Deep down you do but *I think* you find it easier to succumb to the negative feelings. Coming out of the depression is much harder then trying to figure out the underlying issue but you have to be more positive. It's not easy, I know. Eh I rather not Its been 2 months and I'm only getting worst. Therapy and keeping myself busy doesn't work. I just decided to surrender to it. Nothing good comes out of love anyway, maybe this feeling will protect me for good. Link to post Share on other sites
seminoles84 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Eh I rather not Its been 2 months and I'm only getting worst. Therapy and keeping myself busy doesn't work. I just decided to surrender to it. Nothing good comes out of love anyway, maybe this feeling will protect me for good. That's not true. Why are you on this forum if you gave up? To bring others down with you? Doubtful. Give yourself more credit. Link to post Share on other sites
Riptide91 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 (edited) Yes, I think at some point we all get that feeling. I can see what Seminoles is trying to say here, and honestly he is a bit right. If you don't ever make positive changes and choices in life then what do you expect? Solitude will just come one day? If you honestly go through life thinking "I'm 25, only 50 more years.." then it is time to make some changes. BE SAD, hell I just updated my thread about how ****ty I felt this morning, but keep in mind there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I honestly believe one day in the future we will have new SO's and looking back you'll wonder why you were so torn up. Embrace the hurt because you know it was real, but don't be consumed by it. Edited April 1, 2015 by Riptide91 Spelling Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 That's not true. Why are you on this forum if you gave up? To bring others down with you? Doubtful. Give yourself more credit. Same thing my friends told me. I'm going to tell you the same thing. Life doesn't look worth it right now. I'm falling behind in school, I'm drinking, getting high etc. I just dont care, i lost all motive to move forward or build a future. She's probably happy with her life and I'm here deteriorating, and that's the messed up part. I just don't see it, and if I have to go through this for at least a year or 2 then I don't think its worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
Riptide91 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Jon, I don't know you're whole story but I can see that you're really torn up about this. No offense, but have you sought professional help? If you are willing to let your life fall into shambles around you then I think it's best to get help before it's too late and you drop out of school or become a habitual drinker to try to numb the pains of life. This girl already hurt you and tore up your heart, do you really wanna let her take everything else to? Is that fair to the you that existed before her? I'm not trying to come across as blunt or rude, as I am going through some tough times as well, but it is honestly hurting your future and I think you need to realize some of this before it's too late. Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Jon, I don't know you're whole story but I can see that you're really torn up about this. No offense, but have you sought professional help? If you are willing to let your life fall into shambles around you then I think it's best to get help before it's too late and you drop out of school or become a habitual drinker to try to numb the pains of life. This girl already hurt you and tore up your heart, do you really wanna let her take everything else to? Is that fair to the you that existed before her? I'm not trying to come across as blunt or rude, as I am going through some tough times as well, but it is honestly hurting your future and I think you need to realize some of this before it's too late. I already see professional help, its honestly going in one ear out the other. My future was with her, now I have nothing to look forward to. Whoever I end up is going to be sub par compared to my ex (guaranteed). I'm not looking forward to a career, a degree, a life after her etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Riptide91 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 How can you honestly guarantee the unknown? I'm having a hard time seeing the point your trying to make in feeling this way? You can want to feel better, it just starts with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 How can you honestly guarantee the unknown? I'm having a hard time seeing the point your trying to make in feeling this way? You can want to feel better, it just starts with you. Because I feel like I lost a whole lot more than just a relationship. I feel like I lost my entire world, it almost feels like I can't breathe sometimes. A part of me died when we broke up, and I just want to succumb to these awful feelings. As pathetic as it sounds, I want to stay this way because this pain is the only thing I have left of her. The guilt of pushing her away also drives me off the wall. I failed. Link to post Share on other sites
Riptide91 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Because I feel like I lost a whole lot more than just a relationship. I feel like I lost my entire world, it almost feels like I can't breathe sometimes. A part of me died when we broke up, and I just want to succumb to these awful feelings. As pathetic as it sounds, I want to stay this way because this pain is the only thing I have left of her. The guilt of pushing her away also drives me off the wall. I failed. I'm very sorry you feel this way and maybe another poster can get through to you better than I can, if you'll listen. I think the problem is you got so tied up in being with someone you forgot about yourself. You need to take your ex off the pedestal, do you know how many people are in the world? 9/10 most breakups and not completely one sided, we just usually get to hear one side so comsuming yourself with guilt is completely unneeded and silly. Do you mind if I ask how old you are, and how long your previous relationship was? I'll close with I just hope you start to feel better, and sometimes whether you want to or not, you'll heal with time. Keep posting, expression is a key part to the process. Link to post Share on other sites
Nolan 93 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 You know I'm that guy who always wonders why do people do stupid ***** to their partners and then once they are gone the have an apiffany that omg what have I done. Look you f d up you have know one to blame but yourself, always treat others especially a loved one how you would like to be treated. So honestly she may be better off without you. But learn from your mistakes, so this whole situation won't happen again its that simple. You think if she came back you'd last? You haven't done any work on yourself except cry and pour your heart out. Things would go back to the way they were, so instead of being depressed get up and change yourself and become a better you. Make sure you understand that your actions have consequences. Just try and change to become a better you. How do you think I feel my ex left me for an ex, I'm still hurting and sad because I did nothing wrong to her and was an awesome boyfriend. But I still got dumped and you know what I'm not crying or wallowing in whah could of been. I'm bettering myself for me and only me, and I have been in Nc for already three months and she's still on my mind. But waiting for her to come back, will be the most waste of my youth. Cheer up remember this saying I thought of during my break up " you were both strangers before the relationship, and you can easily become strangers after the relationship" Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I'm very sorry you feel this way and maybe another poster can get through to you better than I can, if you'll listen. I think the problem is you got so tied up in being with someone you forgot about yourself. You need to take your ex off the pedestal, do you know how many people are in the world? 9/10 most breakups and not completely one sided, we just usually get to hear one side so comsuming yourself with guilt is completely unneeded and silly. Do you mind if I ask how old you are, and how long your previous relationship was? I'll close with I just hope you start to feel better, and sometimes whether you want to or not, you'll heal with time. Keep posting, expression is a key part to the process. I'm 25, my previous relationship lasted 4 years, and we broke up almost 2 months ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 You know I'm that guy who always wonders why do people do stupid ***** to their partners and then once they are gone the have an apiffany that omg what have I done. Look you f d up you have know one to blame but yourself, always treat others especially a loved one how you would like to be treated. So honestly she may be better off without you. But learn from your mistakes, so this whole situation won't happen again its that simple. You think if she came back you'd last? You haven't done any work on yourself except cry and pour your heart out. Things would go back to the way they were, so instead of being depressed get up and change yourself and become a better you. Make sure you understand that your actions have consequences. Just try and change to become a better you. How do you think I feel my ex left me for an ex, I'm still hurting and sad because I did nothing wrong to her and was an awesome boyfriend. But I still got dumped and you know what I'm not crying or wallowing in whah could of been. I'm bettering myself for me and only me, and I have been in Nc for already three months and she's still on my mind. But waiting for her to come back, will be the most waste of my youth. Cheer up remember this saying I thought of during my break up " you were both strangers before the relationship, and you can easily become strangers after the relationship" Of course you're not crying and wallowing, you did nothing wrong. It's easier for you to move on because you know SHE'S the one that really lost you. And I can't use that quote, you can't become strangers with someone you built memories with, it was easier before the relationship because you didn't know each other. However, I see where you're coming from, but honestly, I'm just ready to give up on love altogether. At the end the years you spent together were all a waste. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts