How to interpret these text messages?

[Sweeetie]

I would like some help interpreting my ex' text messages please since I'm finding it hard to read him (excuse the pun). We broke up in August and then I moved to a new town, this really helped me to get over him. I now no longer want him back at all but I would be open to friendship. He hated me since the breakup (no cheating was involved but he just hated me). We texted a little during Xmas and NYE, which started off with me asking him to meet up and him refusing, but then he cooled down and we thanked each other for a great year, then nothing in the new year. I came back to my hometown this week after 6 months which he wasn't aware of.

 

Yesterday I made a bank transfer to his account since we were going to do a hot air balloon ride together which we had booked last year- recently I found a replacement for him (since he didnt want to do it anymore) thus transferred the money for his ticket to him yesterday. This was an excuse to to talk to him as well.

 

During our text message exchange I asked him if he was going home for Easter (he's from abroad) to which he said he's not, meaning that he would be in my hometown. I didn't say anymore, but 3 hours later he texted me again, asking if I would be back in our hometown for Easter. I replied today, telling him that I'm currently in my hometown looking for apartments since I have a job here starting soon, my first job, and i told him about some other fun stuff I had planned for this holiday. At no point did I ask him to meet up. He just said "cool". I jokingly said "lol aren't you gonna say congratulations for getting my first job?" to which he replied "what do you want from me?" I said "Is asking for a polite response asking for too much?" And that was it.

 

As I said, I don't want this guy back. But I would like to be friends at one point. Should I text him something else or just wait for him to text again? If I leave it now I think it'll just go back to no contact, him asking me if I was coming back home yesterday makes me think he wants to see me.

Edited March 30, 2015 by Sweeetie

[Jimmyjackson]

I would like some help interpreting my ex' text messages please since I'm finding it hard to read him (excuse the pun). We broke up in August and then I moved to a new town, this really helped me to get over him. I now no longer want him back at all but I would be open to friendship. He hated me since the breakup (no cheating was involved but he just hated me). We texted a little during Xmas and NYE, which started off with me asking him to meet up and him refusing, but then he cooled down and we thanked each other for a great year, then nothing in the new year. I came back to my hometown this week after 6 months which he wasn't aware of.

 

Yesterday I made a bank transfer to his account since we were going to do a hot air balloon ride together which we had booked last year- recently I found a replacement for him (since he didnt want to do it anymore) thus transferred the money for his ticket to him yesterday. This was an excuse to to talk to him as well.

 

During our text message exchange I asked him if he was going home for Easter (he's from abroad) to which he said he's not, meaning that he would be in my hometown. I didn't say anymore, but 3 hours later he texted me again, asking if I would be back in our hometown for Easter. I replied today, telling him that I'm currently in my hometown looking for apartments since I have a job here starting soon, my first job, and i told him about some other fun stuff I had planned for this holiday. At no point did I ask him to meet up. He just said "cool". I jokingly said "lol aren't you gonna say congratulations for getting my first job?" to which he replied "what do you want from me?" I said "Is asking for a polite response asking for too much?" And that was it.

 

As I said, I don't want this guy back. But I would like to be friends at one point. Should I text him something else or just wait for him to text again? If I leave it now I think it'll just go back to no contact, him asking me if I was coming back home yesterday makes me think he wants to see me.

 

For someone who "no longer wants him back" you're putting a lot of thought in to this.

Edited March 30, 2015 by Jimmyjackson

[Sweeetie]

For someone who "no longer wants him back" you're putting a lot of thought in to this.

 

Because I would like to be friends. I needed to provide this level of detail in order to receive informed advice on how to go about it.

[lumberjac]

you sure you are all over him and just want him back as "friends"?

I think you care too much, and he clearly doesn't want anything to do with you right now.

[Satu]

He's not boyfriend material, and he doesn't sound like friend material either...

[Jimmyjackson]

Because I would like to be friends. I needed to provide this level of detail in order to receive informed advice on how to go about it.

 

You replied to his text, he hasn't replied yet. Just leave it at that.

[preraph]

He's really bitter about you and on the defensive. Honestly, you should just leave him behind. The only thing he is hoping for at this point is begging on your knees or saying he's right and you're wrong and you can't be friends with that.

[Sweeetie]

I get the feeling that he wanted to see me, since he asked if I was going to be back home for Easter. That's why I'm wondering whether to follow up or not- I didn't ask him to meet up.

[Jimmyjackson]

I get the feeling that he wanted to see me, since he asked if I was going to be back home for Easter. That's why I'm wondering whether to follow up or not- I didn't ask him to meet up.

 

It seems that you're hoping he does want to see you?

[Sweeetie]

It seems that you're hoping he does want to see you?

 

Well if I do want to be friends I would hope for this wouldn't I?

 

Since he didn't reply to my last text and since things got a bit unpleasant/awkward during that little message exchange, I am feeling unsure about asking him to meet up. What do people think, should I or should I not?

[BC1980]

Because I would like to be friends. I needed to provide this level of detail in order to receive informed advice on how to go about it.

 

Just ask him if he wants to meetup and hang out as friends. No need for all of this weirdness. If a friendship is going to develop, it will happen naturally, which is why it's usually not in the cards for an ex. It kind of sounds like you want some attention and a reaction from him. You sent him a bank deposit to get his attention. He asks what you want from him, and you aren't straight with him. What's the point in all of this?

[BC1980]

Is this the guy from your other threads that requested that you leave him alone after you broke up with him?

[Sweeetie]

Just ask him if he wants to meetup and hang out as friends. No need for all of this weirdness. If a friendship is going to develop, it will happen naturally, which is why it's usually not in the cards for an ex. It kind of sounds like you want some attention and a reaction from him. You sent him a bank deposit to get his attention. He asks what you want from him, and you aren't straight with him. What's the point in all of this?

 

He asked me what I want from him today, when I said why isn't he congratulating me for landing my first job. Last night he was asking me if I would be back home for Easter. I do want to hang out with him, but after he awkward message exchange today which suggests he doesn't respect me that much, I'm not sure

[Sweeetie]

Is this the guy from your other threads that requested that you leave him alone after you broke up with him?

 

That was last summer just after we broke up. We've spoken since then, he cooled down and became nicer.

[Smokeshow]

Who cares he sounds like a douche if his resonse to you is "what do you want from me". There are many more people to be friends with, just cut contact with him you'll be much better off because of it

[Poppyolive]

He's not interested. He only asked because you asked. Suggesting he congratulate you on your job was a bit lame. You're simply poking at him, he's simply hurt or angry. Leave it at that. Leave him be.

[mightycpa]

Because I would like to be friends. I needed to provide this level of detail in order to receive informed advice on how to go about it.

Leave him alone. He does not share your aspirations for a friendship. He wants his relationship with you to be the norm for former couples, which is to say, over.

 

That's it. Easy.

[Jimmyjackson]

This is how I would interpret your messages.

 

You broke up with him, but you continue to find excuses to text him with and he wants no part in friendship. Can you blame him? If my ex contacted me and wanted to know why I was being blunt with her I'd tell her it's because we're no longer together

 

If I was you I'd just leave him be, let him move on...it seems he has.

Edited March 30, 2015 by Jimmyjackson

[jen1447]

I would like some help interpreting my ex' text messages please since I'm finding it hard to read him (excuse the pun). We broke up in August and then I moved to a new town, this really helped me to get over him. I now no longer want him back at all but I would be open to friendship. He hated me since the breakup (no cheating was involved but he just hated me). We texted a little during Xmas and NYE, which started off with me asking him to meet up and him refusing, but then he cooled down and we thanked each other for a great year, then nothing in the new year. I came back to my hometown this week after 6 months which he wasn't aware of.

 

Yesterday I made a bank transfer to his account since we were going to do a hot air balloon ride together which we had booked last year- recently I found a replacement for him (since he didnt want to do it anymore) thus transferred the money for his ticket to him yesterday. This was an excuse to to talk to him as well.

 

During our text message exchange I asked him if he was going home for Easter (he's from abroad) to which he said he's not, meaning that he would be in my hometown. I didn't say anymore, but 3 hours later he texted me again, asking if I would be back in our hometown for Easter. I replied today, telling him that I'm currently in my hometown looking for apartments since I have a job here starting soon, my first job, and i told him about some other fun stuff I had planned for this holiday. At no point did I ask him to meet up. He just said "cool". I jokingly said "lol aren't you gonna say congratulations for getting my first job?" to which he replied "what do you want from me?" I said "Is asking for a polite response asking for too much?" And that was it.

 

As I said, I don't want this guy back. But I would like to be friends at one point. Should I text him something else or just wait for him to text again? If I leave it now I think it'll just go back to no contact, him asking me if I was coming back home yesterday makes me think he wants to see me.

 

Not sure what the point would be of this friendship hon. It seems very over, he seems very done, and there seems to be little reason to try to push it. Just let it go.

[Simon Phoenix]

Well if I do want to be friends I would hope for this wouldn't I?

 

Since he didn't reply to my last text and since things got a bit unpleasant/awkward during that little message exchange, I am feeling unsure about asking him to meet up. What do people think, should I or should I not?

 

Absolutely not. He doesn't want to meet up with you. He was being polite and made brief small-talk and you decided to throw the "aren't you going to congratulate me" garbage at him, which he clearly didn't appreciate. He doesn't want to be your friend, and you can't make him be your friend. Leave it be.

 

Also, I feel as if you've tried stuff like this in the past to try to manipulate him into being your friend and he's never gone for it. It's time to let him be.

[goldway90]

I now no longer want him back

 

Well his response in other words : MOVE ON, i don't want a friendship.

Stop reading into it and just leave him alone seriously.

[BC1980]

He asked me what I want from him today, when I said why isn't he congratulating me for landing my first job. Last night he was asking me if I would be back home for Easter. I do want to hang out with him, but after he awkward message exchange today which suggests he doesn't respect me that much, I'm not sure

 

I'm not sure you respect him either. You are basically poking at him and being coy. Why would a friendship with him be of any benefit to either of you? In previous threads, we have told you to leave him alone. I know you have said that one of the reasons you wanted to contact him was that he had misinterpreted some things about you, and you wanted to set the record straight. Is that still a factor?

[BlackbirdSong]

I think you secretly still have feelings for him that you're trying to repress. Otherwise you wouldn't be posting any of this...

[Fleur de cactus]

Please leave him alone. So far I don't know why you are insisting to be his friend. He wanted a serious relationship, you are not interested and now you want to see him, just because you come back in your home town? He thinks you are playing him. He is already mad. He wrote " what do you want from me?!!" Please leave him alone and move on.

[Auspecial]

I would like some help interpreting my ex' text messages please since I'm finding it hard to read him (excuse the pun). We broke up in August and then I moved to a new town, this really helped me to get over him. I now no longer want him back at all but I would be open to friendship. He hated me since the breakup (no cheating was involved but he just hated me). We texted a little during Xmas and NYE, which started off with me asking him to meet up and him refusing, but then he cooled down and we thanked each other for a great year, then nothing in the new year. I came back to my hometown this week after 6 months which he wasn't aware of.

 

Yesterday I made a bank transfer to his account since we were going to do a hot air balloon ride together which we had booked last year- recently I found a replacement for him (since he didnt want to do it anymore) thus transferred the money for his ticket to him yesterday. This was an excuse to to talk to him as well.

 

During our text message exchange I asked him if he was going home for Easter (he's from abroad) to which he said he's not, meaning that he would be in my hometown. I didn't say anymore, but 3 hours later he texted me again, asking if I would be back in our hometown for Easter. I replied today, telling him that I'm currently in my hometown looking for apartments since I have a job here starting soon, my first job, and i told him about some other fun stuff I had planned for this holiday. At no point did I ask him to meet up. He just said "cool". I jokingly said "lol aren't you gonna say congratulations for getting my first job?" to which he replied "what do you want from me?" I said "Is asking for a polite response asking for too much?" And that was it.

 

As I said, I don't want this guy back. But I would like to be friends at one point. Should I text him something else or just wait for him to text again? If I leave it now I think it'll just go back to no contact, him asking me if I was coming back home yesterday makes me think he wants to see me.

 

My take is that he was hurt badly by the break up, and he has been trying to do NC (consciously or not,) but you are making this hard for him.

 

I do not think you are doing this on purpose at all, but I believe you should set him free so he can heal and move on. He can't be friends with you. Respect that and be kind to him, and seek others to make plans with.