irresolute Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 My life got a turn for the worse these last days. I might not have a place to sleep tonight, ex husband's being violent and threatened me. I'm scared and I don't know what to do. I only want to text Johnny and ask him for help. I don't have any friends. PLEASE, those who know my story, please give me some advice on this. I'm about to text him asking for help. I'm desperate and scared. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I think you're just looking for a reason to text "Johnny"..I don't know your full story,but from what I've seen...you need to get your sh*t together! You seem,actually, reek of desperation! Time to grow up! Link to post Share on other sites
Author irresolute Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 you're probably right. And he'd probably didn't reply either. I'm scared and lonely and this person is right now in the house, he's violently threatened me and the only person I thought was johnny. In times like this I realize how lonely I am and hoe many issues I have. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Yep, this is an excuse for you to stay in the muck you've created for yourself. You need to join clubs, meetups, do something and meet other people. Why you have no friends is beyond me -- I doubt you've just moved to where you live now. But that needs to be fixed. Link to post Share on other sites
Strength in Healing Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Well I commend you for recognizing you have these issues you just mentioned. That's always the first step. But the other 50% is doing something about it. So stop making excuses to not do what needs done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irresolute Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 I can't possible join any meetup or club right now, my life is a complete mess and I don't know where am I going to sleep tonight. Husband (because we are not yet legally divorced) is violent and abusive, and now he decided I can no longer stay in the house even though he told me to stay. I need to regain my life, I know. It has been a complete mess the last two years. Maybe this is the point where I take control. Because at this point I have nothing else to loose. I've already lost everything. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Find a woman's shelter. Report your husband to the police. Get a restraining order. There are a ton of options other than texting "Johnny." 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Strength in Healing Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 If it isn't too personal, can you say what the threats were? I'm in law enforcement and can advise accordingly on what should be done. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ZiggyZoo Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Seriously? Terrible idea to text him, you're grasping at straws here. And how many great reconciliation stories have YOU heard that start with manipulation like this? Stand on your own two feet and figure this out for yourself. "Girl in Distress" doesn't look flattering on anyone, and I'll bet he sees right through it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irresolute Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 If it isn't too personal, can you say what the threats were? I'm in law enforcement and can advise accordingly on what should be done. He grabbed my legs trying to pull me out of the bed. He called me names. He threatened with kicking me out of the house. He put the children in the middle. He said I was going to pay and he'll make my life miserable. I ended calling battered women support at 1 am but they only told me to stay away from the kitchen. And to go yo a shelter but I won't leave my kids. He has power. I have none. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 irresolute, You need to grip on this for the sake of those kids if nothing else. He grabbed my legs trying to pull me out of the bed. He called me names. He threatened with kicking me out of the house. He put the children in the middle. He said I was going to pay and he'll make my life miserable. ^^^^ This is an assault. You call the cops and get him arrested. Then you press charges and get a restraining order. Do it now, before the next time when you might end up as a statistic. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Call the police and press charges. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 He has power. I have none. You have more than you realize. Call the police. He will be arrested for assault and the restraining order will be automatic. You need to do this to protect your children. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Why was "Johnny" your first thought for help. How about 911!!!!????? Restraining order, police. Do it, now! 8 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Why was "Johnny" your first thought for help. How about 911!!!!????? Restraining order, police. Do it, now! Why was Johnny your first thought for help, and not the safety of your children? Your priorities are backwards if you put your affair partner ahead of your own children's wellbeing. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Do you have any family that could help? Link to post Share on other sites
Author irresolute Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 I have no one here. I just talked to some friends but now I regret it because he'll tell a differenrt version. I called him to speak, he told me he wants me out of the house, and that i was the abusive and disrespectful. He also told me I provoked him on purpose. Last night he was violent and I was about to call 911, but then realized if I call, his professional life will suffer. I told him I was not calling because I don't want his colleages to know. He took this against me and now he says I want to destroy his life and he will never forgive me. At this point, I don't know what was true and what was not, he's telling me a different version of what happened and I'm confused. I just want Johnny right now. I'd be so happy if I could see him. I just can't cope with all this. I just can't. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Are these your children? Are they in danger? This Johnny guy isn't going to save you. You need to get away from men and get some stability for yourself. Living with your estranged husband while dating others is lighting a match to explosives, and he's proven himself to be violent. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I'm so sorry you are going through this but FORGET ABOUT Johnny, don't ever contact him that's first thing. You should report your husband that's an assault, don't ever give damn about him professional life, what about yours? think about it! what if he hurt you badly? report him and just leave your house ASAP. Here's a link for List of Divorce Attorneys with Domestic Abuse Experience. Find the Best Domestic Violence Lawyer Near You - Avvo.com 1 Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I just want Johnny right now. I'd be so happy if I could see him. I just can't cope with all this. I just can't. Stop. he can't do anything to you, remember he's the same as your husband plus if he even save you, believe me he'll use it against you. Don't create another mess. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irresolute Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 they are my kids, yes. I'll take a look at the list right now. Link to post Share on other sites
DatingDirection Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 If you have any savings you can go to a hotel, or a hostel for travellers, or in the worst case a women's shelter. My life got a turn for the worse these last days. I might not have a place to sleep tonight, ex husband's being violent and threatened me. I'm scared and I don't know what to do. I only want to text Johnny and ask him for help. I don't have any friends. PLEASE, those who know my story, please give me some advice on this. I'm about to text him asking for help. I'm desperate and scared. Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Check here for a close women's shelter California Women's Shelters, Transitional Housing Link to post Share on other sites
ZiggyZoo Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 You need to pull your sh*t together for your kids' sake. Get ahold of yourself and find your backbone. You need to stop all this "I can't do it, I don't want to ruin his professional life" crap right now. Your kids are relying on YOU to make them safe. You have no choice here, you need to step up. Salvation isn't going to come in the form of a man who has repeatedly told you that he doesn't love you and has made zero effort to contact you in the past few days. Stop making excuses for why you can't do what you know is the right thing. It's one thing when you're screwing around with this Johnny asswipe, but now to make excuses for why you won't do the bare minimum to keep your kids safe is beyond reprehensible. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 You need to pull your sh*t together for your kids' sake. Get ahold of yourself and find your backbone. You need to stop all this "I can't do it, I don't want to ruin his professional life" crap right now. Your kids are relying on YOU to make them safe. You have no choice here, you need to step up. Salvation isn't going to come in the form of a man who has repeatedly told you that he doesn't love you and has made zero effort to contact you in the past few days. Stop making excuses for why you can't do what you know is the right thing. It's one thing when you're screwing around with this Johnny asswipe, but now to make excuses for why you won't do the bare minimum to keep your kids safe is beyond reprehensible. This. OP, this is awful. You are their mother - act like it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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