marky00 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Guys, After my girlfriend broke it off, she called me a few times after asking me if i had been eating etc. These comments pissed me off so I told her she can contact me, but please do not ask how I am feeling. 40 days plus NC and she hasnt checked in once. Just wondering if it might be linked to what I said. Can I send a quick message saying something like this: " hey, just letting you know I am doing fine and took the breakup quite well. I think I said it was best you didnt contact me but as I said I am doing well, so the door is open for contact if you wish. Personally, I would like to keep in contact with you on some level. Since we are talking about a long distance relationship, I think this arrangement might be possible?" Please dont ask me my exact motivations for doing this as I really dont know. Somehow I would like to know the channel for communication is open even if I use that channel very occassionally, if at all. I am hurting a lot at the moment and I need something to shake this thing up slightly. But I am feeling less emotional so that is a plus. Because it was such a long relatrionship (10 years), I would honestly have to sit around for a couple of years before I could say I had no more feelings for her. So, why not man up now and see where she is at regarding some form of contact. Loosing a bit of self-respect is not really a big issue for me. Although, the idea of giving her validation for her decision does bug me a little more. But if it was just a text message, the dmage should be minimal? Link to post Share on other sites
HBK3317 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Dude you know it yourself... The answer is, NO. She had no problems going NC after such a long time, you should pretend the same way. Don't.Do.It. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author marky00 Posted March 28, 2015 Author Share Posted March 28, 2015 Yes but who knows what her reasons for no contact are. Initially she said she planned on contacting but I do feel I stifled that with my request to not contact enquiring about my feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 I used to devise Sneaky underhanded excuses to break nc such as telling the dumper about a great bookshop she would love but it never got me anymore. One of my friends talked sense into me by saying that if my ex wanted to be with me she would contact me about it. Nothing changes that fact. If they decided they needed to be with you nothing on the world would keep them from telling you. Any excuses to break nc are pointless cos nothing changes that. If they wanted to be with you then you would know it Link to post Share on other sites
HBK3317 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 So? Why exactly do you care? See the thing is if you contact her you will want to get back with her and she might not be in that place thereby rendering you much heartbroken. Trust me you don't want to go through that. She has done you a big last favor by remaining No Contact with you and believe me you that's the reason you are less emotional. As time passes by your sentiments for her will go on decreasing and then one day maybe you would be able to talk to her normally. Right now if you establish contact it's going to do nothing but hurt, hurt a lot! Also what If she's already in another relationship, then what? Ever thought about that...? Please let this feeling go. Understand that You do not need to contact her. You owe her nothing. She's not your responsibility anymore. Also if she wants to be back, no force in heaven or hell can stop her from contacting you, so don't worry about that as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marky00 Posted March 28, 2015 Author Share Posted March 28, 2015 (edited) She is already in another relationship. So there will be no shock. I zoned myself off from that aspect and dont care too much about that fact. Like I said its just nice to know the door is open. Not saying I will go through it much, if at all. Its just the ending was super bad which has made things far harder to take. Edited March 28, 2015 by marky00 Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmyjackson Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 She is already in another relationship. So there will be no shock. I zoned myself off from that aspect and dont care too much about that fact. Like I said its just nice to know the door is open. Not saying I will go through it much, if at all. Its just the ending was super bad which has made things far harder to take. When I was with my ex, this guy she dated for 2 months (he was a rebound) would contact her while I was with her. You know what she did? showed me the texts and laughed, said he contacted her every so often and it was sad. Do you really wanna be that guy? the guy she shows your messages to her new lover? Link to post Share on other sites
NC-Thomas Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 This is your third thread in one week, where you said you want to break NC to get answers and closure. More then 20 different people have replied to your threads, including me. The main advice still is to move on and keep that NC. I don't think any advice we give will actually convince you to not contact her. So maybe I should be the first to say, just go and contact her and see what it brings you. Because whether you will contact her or not, you will learn from it both ways. It's just that one road is a little bumpier than the other. But if that's what it takes... I still get the creeps from that very moment I broke NC on my GF. Set me back bigtime, like all the way back to day 0. Link to post Share on other sites
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