abusive relationship

[Babyribs]

hi everyone, here's my topic for the night.

 

i have been dating this girl for a long time now, we broke up in march and all i did was make everything the way she wanted it to be so we can get back together, now this girl has been all wrong for me from day one, she likes to drink a lot "everyday" and doesnt really pay much attention or show affection to the people around her including me.

 

so i put up with all this for the longest and we became friends after the brake up, about a month and a half ago we went out to a bar and this guy that lives right next door to her came up to us and said hi bla bla bla, well after the bar we went back to her house and had a few more drinks, the guy started touching her and i told him to do me the favor and stop touching my girl. he then said sorry bla bla bla, her and i got into a fight "because she alows this to happen infront of me" and she kicked me out, after i left i couldnt drive home or anything because me keys were inside her house so i knocked and knocked and she didnt open and wouldnt pick up the phone.

 

well after a while i heard her back door open and he had left, i went inside and she acted as if she was sleeping, but yet there was a condom wrapper on the floor and an used condom. I told her that was messed up and all the stuff that comes with hurting. she denied doing anything "yeah right" but whatever i told her to forget it that i was done, she the started to beat me up, she punched me so hard in the face that for about 4-5 days i was in pain, she even made my mouth bleed.

 

the next day she came over my house and asked me to forgive her that nothing had happened to give her a chance "she said lets get back together" wow that was what i was waiting for since march, so i said ok. everything has been ok but ever since then i have changed a lot.

 

here's my problem, ever since she asked me to get back together with her i have been as if i dont want her, everything she does bothers me and at time i dont even want to be with her, she controls everything i do, she wants to know who i talked to on the phone, online or when i am at work, she needs to know everything i am doing and everything turns into a fight with her.

 

i am so tired of fighting that tonight i told her i just dont want to be with her, i told her that i need to be free and be able to make my own choices and have my own friends, she said she's not trying to control me bla bla bla but i'm just tired of all the bull, i feel like i am not free with her, i dont like the way she's bringing up her kids and i dont like her drinking all the time, i am just tired of all the controling and the fact that is i talk to anyone else is because i want something with them.

was i stupid to give her another chance?

am i just someone who likes to be abused?

do you think me leaving this abusive relationship is the right thing?

what if i start to miss her?

what if i liked the way it is?

 

i dont know have a made the right decesion??

 

thanks for your inputs.

[mlncoolj2000]

I think that you should just sit down with her and have a serious conversation. That's what i would do with my boyfriend. He is 17. I hope things with you guys get better. She is probably happy that you gave her a second chance.

[Merin]

YES You made the right decision to break up with her.

 

You know it's one of those things.. you said yourself you KNOW she isn't right for you and hasn't ever been.

You can't change her..

 

Based on what you've said regarding the night she hit you in the face.. she isn't above sleeping with someone else.. you're NOT the most important thing in her life next to her children (if even her children) and she hasn't any respect for you.

 

Sometimes we want something so much that we give in to things we know aren't good for us.. and later find the cost of giving away what we truly believe to be right is to high of a price to pay..

 

At this point you are feeling resentful because you know she is playing with your mind.. when something keeps telling you something isn't right.. listen.

 

She is accusing you, and trying to control what you do IMO because SHE is doing something that she knows isn't right.

 

Let go of this one and find someone else who is capable of respect for you, respect for themselves and honesty.

 

Good Luck