Used2KnowU Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 so quick filler. we were together for 5 years. broke up over 3 years now. no contact for well over a year, other than she liking a picture a mutual friend of ours put up on facebook i was in. she wanted the friendship to remain, i was way to angry to tolerate it. anyway long story short, i was taking to a mutual friend of ours who said she contacted her about a bachelorette party which brought up some old memories but i wasn't mad or phased by it, actually made me happy. i do want to contact her, just to say hi and congratulations on the coming nuptials. i don't want a friendship rebuilt or any of the sort, just really want to wish her all the best in my now more peaceful and considerate mind state. what do you guys think? is this a no no or passable? Link to post Share on other sites
ApexTitanium Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 It won't really accomplish anything....and its been forever since you talked. That would probably seem weird to her. Why bother? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Used2KnowU Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 never looked at it in that way alex. you actually make sense as even if we do have a conversation, whats the point. definitely could be weird. i just wanted to genuinely tell her good luck Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 If she's about to get married, she really doesn't want to hear from an EX. It's a lovely sentiment but don't reach out. If you bump into the mutual friend, you can tell that person to give her your best but don't go any farther. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Sentimentality: Explodes on contact with reality... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Used2KnowU Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 thank you guys for the replies, i love this site! i will not contact her, nor send a message, if by some chance we cross paths face to face then i will say what i want, if not. oh well. good night to you great folks @satu - i am taking the phrase you said, that is so damn true 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gnick Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I disagree. I think it would be nice of you. I would like to hear from my ex's if I were in that situation. I would appreciate it.that person was a big part of your life Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 If you had remained friends with your ex and you guys had been friends, then yes, wishing her well is something that is obligatory. But if you hadn't been in contact with her for over a year, do not try to open old wounds especially since it would not have resulted in anything except keeping things open-ended. I love my ex, I really do, but he left me for another girl and I think if he were to get married in the future, I would never ever get in contact with him. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 You mean like this? Hi Matilda, I heard you're getting married. Until I talked to Esmerelda, I hadn't thought about you in what seems like a million years. Perception is funny, isn't it? The news that would have surely destroyed me in the past now feels like prima facie evidence of my liberation. I survived the bitter disappointment I once felt, and I'm so much better for the experience. It is probably unfitting to actually thank you, but you were an influential part of my life in ways you'll never know, and I'm grateful for what I've learned through you. I can't express this feeling that is in my heart right now. I feel happy for you, and I feel happy for me. I don't know what to call it. I hope you'll both enjoy the wedding gift that accompanies this note. I wish both you and the groom a lifetime of happiness together. As for me, I'm not quite done sampling the buffet that life has bestowed upon me. I don't feel rushed and in fact, I feel very fortunate right now. Who knew the world was such a big place with so much more to offer? I'm sure you feel the same enthusiasm that I feel for whatever is next to come. I know that letters like this can sometimes feel uncomfortable. Maybe you'll feel a nagging obligation to reply, and you won't know what to say. Maybe the groom will feel a little weird about me sending this to you now. I don't know, and I don't care. If you must, a generic thank you note is more than enough. I'm really writing you for my benefit. You were an important part of my life, I feel like I need to acknowledge that, to state for the record that I don't regret a thing and that I wish you well. I feel very comfortable now in wishing you both the best of everything. Just to be clear, NO, I don't want to be pals. Back then, I couldn't imagine not knowing you and being apart from you. Now it feels like the most natural thing in the world. Life is funny that way, don't you think? I know you know what I'm talking about. I finally caught up to you. It feels good. Goodbye Matilda. It was great knowing you. I wish the both of you a long and happy life together. Congratulations and best wishes to you both. U2KYWhy? Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I don't see the point in it unless you had been in regular contact and maintained an actual friendship. Which honestly, most people don't maintain any sort of real friendships with an ex. I think the fact that you heard about the marriage third hand tells the tale, doesn't it? You aren't close enough to her to warrant her telling you she is getting married. If I were getting married, I think it would weird me out to hear from an ex out of the blue. Link to post Share on other sites
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