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I ask of you. Read this! My soul is being eaten by immense regrets!


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ll start by saying this: She is the one..yes I said it( I know 3 billion women on hearth) but she is the one. My soul mate. I'm actually deeply in love in who she is (I love her physically but) Even more the way she is, the way she carries herself, Her voice. Her taste in music,clothing everything. She is not perfect neither the queen of England. But I know I can make her once again happy. That I can def be a better Man. Do the right thing. So if you tell me is over when you read all this..I swear I don't know how im gonna take it, Ill swear Ill die on the inside. I want her back..and Ill do anything (Already working on myself )but Ill go to the moon if I have to.

 

 

-Break up was clingy and needy from my part.Tears, nonsense talk and you already know 6 gears of emotion.

-We had sex after the break up.

-We went out to a restaurant after the break up.

-My mother saw me depressed ..destroyed blah blah called her without me knowing asking her what was going on!

-Did the whole begging for 3 weeks straight by message. A message on Facebook..but never called whatsoever.

-I asked her twice to spend end of the year with me, she did and still tried to work thinks out.

 

I know I suffocate her...little to no air I let her breathe but that's because I found messages of another guy on her phone at the break up. So I felt like there was no way I would just let her be..I guess however I pushed her more to the other fella arms.

 

These thoughts ..they don't go away..and they eat me. I imagine her with another man wrapped in his arms. I even imagine her doing sex stuff with him.From the foreplay to what comes next. It eats me..Because I'm in love with her but she doesn't wanna have nothing to do with me. Right now she again might as well be walking hand with another man.

 

What can I do..how the hell I get these thoughts out of my mind. They destroy my mind ,my concentration..all of it.

 

Not too Manly from my part and I know that.

 

The thing is..I realize all that now. Cool..I like it. Good experience that showed me that emotions in a man..well..they should never be there. Womans are emotional Man should never be or at leas show it an in a *immature way.

 

My ex told me not to write her anymore..as I tried in 4 weeks to get her back..by doing the same needy *.

 

I learned my lesson..im glad I did. it feels good..it does.

 

Now..that the lesson is learned..

 

Im changed.. Im a new Man and emotions..well whats that..I dont even know the meaning of that.

 

I want her back. I will fight for her back. How can I..after she lost respect..interest for me..after she thinks im a wussy..gain interest for her again.

 

Im ready..im born again. No act..no Play..I thank her for that..as she used me and saw me emotiant destroyed.

 

How can I show her that im new..that I changed..more important I wanna gain her interest back. Even if she is with another man.

 

This * got real.no play no games..I do know the way I acted wasnt masculine and mature at all. Got it. I like it. Got a lesson learned that Mans should never be lead by emotions but by balls.

 

Im already working in moving back to the area where she lives as I live miles from her...eventually she will see me..this time..she shill be shocked that she is not gonna see the same * man she saw.

 

I love her. Im madly in love with her. Im willing to take down a bull by the horns..to win her back.

 

Is not gonna be now..not in a month..not in a year..but I repeat...Im willing to do anything as long is the right way..

 

2 first weeks she send me pics and still talked with me normally. Last 2 weeks the conversation got shorter. Now. In the whole 4 weeks I was still trying to fix the break up. As in asking her to give us another chance etc etc. Which im sure she enjoyed the attention and all the power she had over me. She knew she had me under her hook. Like I can have you whenever I want * (I know no kudos for me!!. Well ..I accept that was true (that is over. not that she had me under her hook, maybe a bit )

It was hard..but I had to accept it. Is over. Over like END. I want her outta my head. Is been 2 days since we have talked. I wont text her anymore. I wont even come as close as thinking about her(that's gonna be like a Rocky fight tho )

 

Do you guys believe that even if she saw me inferior and under her hook..she will message me after long time of no contact even if she has moved on??

 

Ill be honest I don't care how broken the relationship is , and I don't care is she has a new man. Im strong enough to get back together and put the relationship on track like a puzzle.Why?? you may ask? because I saw the reason why she broke up with me, my flaws and im back on track baby. To Make it work fresh, even if her feelings have switched away from me. So any info? or is just not gonna happen.

 

Well you read all that..These are the only feedbacks I can see:

 

1-After all that we both went thru , she hasn't change her number which it is on the same phone plan as me.(obviously if she gets in to a relationship that's gonna happen, she gotta respect the new guy huh!)

 

2-Facebook! She has a a single profile pic of her, IF she really wanna hit me in the chest she could change it any time for her and someone else.

 

3-Whatsapp. She still has the same profile pic, She still answers whenever I text her.. I got positive answers last time..however I need to seriously cut contact for a while. She asked I hope you doing better as she knew How I felt about all this. Then I told her a couple things not dramatic and she told to be honest I already say too much from my part!. that's when I told her I wish always the best etc etc

 

4-After all..the break up..everything. She coulda just changer her number, she hasnt.

 

5-The last time I wrote her she told me to stop ****ing texting her. I had to text her because she has some paperwork of mine.

 

Now:

 

I lost all my play cards with her thats about it. Wanna know where my mistake was..that I made long time ago..let me tell you the story:

 

I made a very huge mistake here..and that is......Soft.. I went to soft mood myself. I went too soft on her. Thats it..that's why she is playing the game on a higher wining level and I'm at lower level.Furthermore even If try to play it back, there's not anymore end games at this point that I could use. I already lost all the concert tickets, they are out. I already lost my tiger stripes to her eyes, they are gone. She sees me like that I got no play to ball the game back. Even If could graduate from the Actor Professional University, she already has me on only one criteria of Man. That is the easy one, the soft one, the cry one, the cute and soft , the crybaby etc. Too late to change that vision she has of me. I cant blame her, I cant..I did let the relationship go monotonous, boring, lack of passion and excitement. Too available I was, Too straightforward, too I love you babe every(she used to do it too)too not doing my own thing appearing too available and not busy. She felt for the GiGS and eventually the butterfly of her stomach started flying one more time, and it wasn't with me. Is funny because she tells me im immature but she called over the phone to break up and wasn't even telling me. It was like, hey I have second thoughts, I cant leave miami , I have to think of my future etc(I understand that one) etc ect. I asked , but what about our relationship? ..she went quiet.Then I asked and she started telling me all sorta things thru the phone. Thats when I got to miami to pick up my *. And she was crying when I was picking up,She asked me why didn't you let me know you were coming. I went loud and told her,, because you don't answer the phone, .Then she kept quiet and crying. I kept coming back taking s h i t out. I was walking back the to the car, she followed and hugged me. I push her back, grabbed her arms and told her no:

 

we are not gonna see each other again.

She says:

Dont say that...why?.

Me

You know why.

 

I wen to the car, dropped my stuff , walked back to the room that she was standing crying there...and..pause...wait for it....wait for it..booom. The moment I fckd up everything up. The moment that maybe If I wouldn't have done..today I might still have a minimal real chance with her and I mean real with full table game full of plays and endgames.But Instead. Lets hit play, I go and grab her and put her on my waist level..took her to the bed I sat and she was on top me. We kissed, I smiled like a *, and asked her what was going on. She told me I need time and space!!! Give 4 months ( because she wanted to do a tattoo professional course ) Im like ok. We can do that!! Now we kissed. I smiled she smile but a minimal fakey smile. I got up and walked back to the car like the happiest man in the world because actually I was sad as s h i t when I went to pick up the stuff. Im better, im good, im happy. But...I didnt know..I really didnt know true inexperience that I have just made a baaad move. Really awful one. Without realizing what I did. 2 days later I come back to see her, we had sex, it was all like usual us. Then I wake up first than her and I got thru her phone..and there was those sexting messages that I still can remember what she wrote. Now lets pause for a minute!!

 

 

Why is it..that it was wrong of me to comeback to see her again!!:

 

Well the mistake is right there, it goes simple as this. She was already emotionally detached, she attached those emotions to another man. Now..the one that she doesnt wanna see. the one she doesnt feel much about but still cires when hes leaving. Is the one that shoulda,,shoulda have gotten fck lost. Like pick up his * and leave....fckng LEAVEEEEEE..but he did not and that was the cost of any reconciliacion to the point that todas that woman thinks the worst of me.

 

Lets do another pause...5.4.3.2.1...Leave....is exactly what I shoulda have done. After that hugged that I told her you know why. What I shoulda have done is to be done grabbing my *..and for goodbye I just say:

 

Take of yourself alright. If you need anything you let me know. You have my number. Goodbye.

 

And that's it....lets read that one again..THAT'S IT.easy as that..I get the fck out, I don't contact her afterwards, I don't writer her *, I don't give a *. I got a life to live. Buut..what happen...I took the wrong road, the wrong path. And she is gone...and with her all my dignity,respect etc. See I woulda have left. And she would just be alone with her new friend. Instead me I walked out with all my dignity and respect, and she woulda been like mmm s h i t....

 

( I didn't got any reaction out of him, what sup with this guy..Strange, Is he with someone up there!!! what is it that he can easily walk out of my life, I wasn't expecting this1!!)

 

Then maybe..she woula have missed me.Maybe she woula been texting all over my phone, and I play it alright and cool like I dont need you in my life..and lets add another maybe..she woulda gone rethink it twice about it.

 

In her mind things woulda been like this:

1-Do I leave this guy (Who i know for years, and feel more secure with him)

2- Do I stay with this guy who I like and give me butterflies but should I leave Ray because of it mmm I kind of miss him.mmm (Why did he walked out so easily , not even a message!!)))

 

Im going no contact for now on. Will she initiate..will she miss me? I know i didnt let her miss me with all I did. But *br /> What else can I do fellas? There is nothing else I can do right!! :((

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Im changed.. Im a new Man and emotions..well whats that..I dont even know the meaning of that.

Wait for it ....

I want her back. I will fight for her back.

No you're not new. You're the same.

 

Will she initiate..will she miss me?
No!

 

What else can I do fellas? There is nothing else I can do right!!
Right!
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...... I don't know where to start with this. That post was intense, dramatic, a gushing essay, full of needy text... Basically, it suggests you haven't changed at all.

 

I don't say that to be mean. You sound like a nice enough guy, but you are gushing buckets over this woman. I've been there before - I cringe to this day when I think about how I mooned over one of my ex-boyfriends.

 

She knows she can have you whenever she wants you - a quick click of the fingers and you'll be there, lapdog-style. It just isn't attractive to any woman and it doesn't command an iota of respect.

 

You need to follow the classic rule touted on this forum - no contact. Please stop chasing this woman, for the sake of your own sanity. You are doing yourself absolutely no favours by investing this much time in her - all the texting, Whatsapping, thinking about her and writing huge threads such as the above - huge waste of your time and very unhealthy. I know it's really, really difficult, and there is no magic solution. But you have to stop contacting her. Do you have any good buddies you can vent to about this - who may be there for you when you feel like contacting this woman?

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My heart goes for you brother.

 

Yours is a bad case, and I try to help those coz I've been there.

 

If you have read around this forum, you may have heard the NC rule over and over again.

Look, NC isn't only necessary for your own well being. I fully understand you if you just aren't interested in your "well being or any other nonsense that doesn't involve moving mountains to get Her back!"

 

Here is the mountain you need to move: NC.

I'm not suggesting it to protect yourself. I understand you. You may be thinking "to hell with me! I'd take a bullet to get her back!"

 

NC is necessary if you don't wanna ruing the tiny spec of chance that is left to get her back.

 

I'm gonna give you an ironic advice: Date. Get involved with other women. With as many as you can until you find one that makes you (relatively) happy. Again, I'm not saying this to "take care of yourself". I know "to hell with you!" :) I know how you feel. This is a "strategy", it's part of the work that needs to be done IF you want any chance to get Her back. (Don't get serious though until you decide to really stay with a women. Don't break another heart)

 

NC and dating is necessary if you wanna rebuild your self respect, and get your "tiger stripes" back in her eyes.

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OK. Whoa. I'm just going to respond in general, since you have too much going on to break it all down individually...

 

First and foremost, there's not a damn thing on Earth that you can do right now (and I mean for the next few years maybe) to get this girl back. She is with someone else. She has told you to stop texting her. Read that again. And again. She is over you, man.

 

And it's not because you were soft and not masculine either. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being upset and crying when you break up with someone, male or female. That's ridiculous. Its because you annoyed the sh*t out of her and made a nuisance of yourself. But itwouldn't have made a difference anyway, she was done before you did all your begging and pleading. I don't care if you did have sex and go out to eat after you broke up. Those were breadcrumbs, probably to make her feel better about leaving you.

 

The reason I'm so confident about this is because I was in her shoes. I broke up with a guy who absolutely would NOT leave me alone, and it completely ruined any good feelings I had towards him. There was no way I would even be his friend afterwards, I didn't want to see his face or hear his voice EVER again...

 

The social media profiles and unchanged phone number? Those don't mean anything, she isn't leaving you a connection to her. She probably doesn't think its worth the effort to change everything. Its not about you at all, none of her actions from here on out are.

 

The only thing you can do at this point is to go NC and get over her. I get that she was the love of your life and your soul mate and all that. But guess what? We all lost the loves of our lives on here, and the lucky ones manage to fall out of love and move on. I have, and you will too. This relationship is done, and the sooner that you can come to terms with that, the better.

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At least you give me a bit of hope, Im already on it. I cant, I wont, I shouldnt, too much damage already. To contact her again. Is really , really the time for me to vanish, gosh town. The thing is I am seriously mad with myself because I shoulda have read all of the good advice on this forum. Too late coz I ****ed up badly. You still saying any tiny chances..hell you are the first one to tell me that..most other answers end with :

Forget It..move on.

 

"Well, love is insanity. The ancient Greeks knew that. It is the taking over of a rational and lucid mind by delusion and self-destruction. You lose yourself, you have no power over yourself, you can't even think straight.

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"Well, love is insanity. The ancient Greeks knew that. It is the taking over of a rational and lucid mind by delusion and self-destruction. You lose yourself, you have no power over yourself, you can't even think straight.

 

Keep this in mind. Think of this when your emotions are taking control.

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ApexTitanium

Woah....not trying to be mean...but damn I thought I took my breakup bad. You took this to a whole new level.

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Please. For your sanity and well being (as well as hers) - Leave her alone!

 

Post here for support.

 

AND RELAX!

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Dude... You really really really need to move on... Even if there's any hope, even if she comes back crawling you need to back up and get the **** out!

 

Just read your post once just look at it and see how needy and desperate you are being... I know the feeling to loose the love of your life trust me I am going through the same thing but the fact of the matter remains You have to move on, somehow... Anyhow... That's the only way.

 

Remain No Contact. And do us all a favour and deactivate your Facebook, Twitter, and delete her phone numbers and email address. Hang in there bro... We are all in the same ****ed up boat!

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You are completely deluded. Get out of Lalaland - she doesn't want you. It's over.

 

Jajaja..no **** Sherlock. Like I didn't know that jajaj. Come on man...all I gotta do is read my own post and is damn obvious..after the fiasco I did even more than obvious. But thanks tho. Also, deluded...nah I could say I'm damn delusional :)

 

Just posted here to get some info about it...learn and grow out of it. Just that.

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Woah....not trying to be mean...but damn I thought I took my breakup bad. You took this to a whole new level.

 

NAh I have seen and heard worse...I heard stories of guys stalking their ex to work..of guys standing in front of their ex house!!Now that is on another level. I got my reasons tho of why I took this **** bad because of bad deeds I did in the relationship, that's why I went low at the break up and damn needy(also first longest relationship I have ever had and first Woman that I have ever truly loved). But hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Wont deny I still want her back..but the chances of her coming are -0. :) ho well. all I can do is do some crying now and then and eat this pain up..then Man the fck up.

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Your rambling overly emotional post goes on & on & on & on & on about all the garbage & drama that occurred after you broke up. It never says WHY you broke up. At this point, it may not matter because after all that drama she may just be happy you are out of her life. Sorry. :(

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I know how you feel.it's been over 4 months since my breakup. I sent texts emails on and off trying to get her back and she completely cut me off. I still feel like ****

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Your rambling overly emotional post goes on & on & on & on & on about all the garbage & drama that occurred after you broke up. It never says WHY you broke up. At this point, it may not matter because after all that drama she may just be happy you are out of her life. Sorry. :(

 

Wow thank you I feel allot better now. You are the best. She broke up with me..with the usual I need space bla bla to find out that she was sexting with guy 3 days before she told me I need space!!!. Yeah after all that drama I bet im done..that's why I regret what I did ..how I did it..but Is done. Aint that something.

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The details I really wont go in to. Lets just say I fckd up with the neediness etc.. To a point she told me to stop fckng texting her.

 

Theres 0 chances that she will come back. Like -0.

 

What it really eats me is that I coulda have avoided all of this..and that fact just eats me..Such a regret that I cant bare the pain.

 

She felt for the GiGS and eventually the butterfly of her stomach started flying one more time, and it wasn't with me. Is funny because she tells me im immature but she called over the phone to break up and wasn't even telling me. It was like, hey I have second thoughts, I cant leave miami , I have to think of my future etc(I understand that one) etc ect. I asked , but what about our relationship? ..she went quiet.Then I asked and she started telling me all sorta things thru the phone. Thats when I got to miami to pick up my *. And she was crying when I was picking up,She asked me why didn't you let me know you were coming. I went loud and told her,, because you don't answer the phone, .Then she kept quiet and crying. I kept coming back taking s h i t out. I was walking back the to the car, she followed and hugged me. I push her back, grabbed her arms and told her no:

 

we are not gonna see each other again.

She says:

Dont say that...why?.

Me

You know why.

 

I wen to the car, dropped my stuff , walked back to the room that she was standing crying there...and..pause...wait for it....wait for it..booom. The moment I fckd up everything up. The moment that maybe If I wouldn't have done..today I might still have a minimal real chance with her and I mean real with full table game full of plays and endgames.But Instead. Lets hit play, I go and grab her and put her on my waist level..took her to the bed I sat and she was on top me. We kissed, I smiled like a *, and asked her what was going on. She told me I need time and space!!! Give 4 months ( because she wanted to do a tattoo professional course ) Im like ok. We can do that!! Now we kissed. I smiled she smile but a minimal fakey smile. I got up and walked back to the car like the happiest man in the world because actually I was sad as s h i t when I went to pick up the stuff. Im better, im good, im happy. But...I didnt know..I really didnt know true inexperience that I have just made a baaad move. Really awful one. Without realizing what I did. 2 days later I come back to see her, we had sex, it was all like usual us. Then I wake up first than her and I got thru her phone..and there was those sexting messages that I still can remember what she wrote. Now lets pause for a minute!!

 

 

Why is it..that it was wrong of me to comeback to see her again!!:

 

Well the mistake is right there, it goes simple as this. She was already emotionally detached, she attached those emotions to another man. Now..the one that she doesnt wanna see. the one she doesnt feel much about but still cires when hes leaving. Is the one that shoulda,,shoulda have gotten fck lost. Like pick up his * and leave....fckng LEAVEEEEEE..but he did not and that was the cost of any reconciliacion to the point that todas that woman thinks the worst of me.

 

Lets do another pause...5.4.3.2.1...Leave....is exactly what I shoulda have done. After that hugged that I told her you know why. What I shoulda have done is to be done grabbing my *..and for goodbye I just say:

 

Take of yourself alright. If you need anything you let me know. You have my number. Goodbye.

 

And that's it....lets read that one again..THAT'S IT.easy as that..I get the fck out, I don't contact her afterwards, I don't writer her *, I don't give a *. I got a life to live. Buut..what happen...I took the wrong road, the wrong path. And she is gone...and with her all my dignity,respect etc. See I woulda have left. And she would just be alone with her new friend. Instead me I walked out with all my dignity and respect, and she woulda been like mmm s h i t....

 

( I didn't got any reaction out of him, what sup with this guy..Strange, Is he with someone up there!!! what is it that he can easily walk out of my life, I wasn't expecting this1!!)

 

Then maybe..she woula have missed me.Maybe she woula been texting all over my phone, and I play it alright and cool like I dont need you in my life..and lets add another maybe..she woulda gone rethink it twice about it.

 

In her mind things woulda been like this:

1-Do I leave this guy (Who i know for years, and feel more secure with him)

2- Do I stay with this guy who I like and give me butterflies but should I leave Ray because of it mmm I kind of miss him.mmm (Why did he walked out so easily , not even a message!!)))

 

 

IF I woulda have done that things would be different..after that bad move things went south..Like damn south :( Guys im feeling really low..really depressed..because I coulda have handle this def way better. Now she hates me ..despise me ..detest me all of that...and Im so in love with her :(

 

Seriously I try to get her out my mind..but I cant..I dream of her like 4 times in a row at night. As much as I try to cut it, I cant it just happens.

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Ummm...what? That post was all over the place. Were you drinking?

 

mmmm no sir more like really depressed and a hell of a headache. Too out of focus right not to put it all together. But sure Mister. w.e you say.

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First of all, let me tell you - I (we) have been to this place... Some further into it than others but most of us have seen this dark pit of desperation you are now staring into and it sucks. It sucks worse than anything else. Feel free to bawl your eyes out into your pillow and be sad, but rest assured YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!

 

Now, your gf is gone. You don't have to accept it just yet, but deep down you know that eventually you will get past this.. Stay with that feeling, and you will begin to feel calm, even for a moment it is better than nothing.. Try to stay with that or go back to that state a couple of times a day. I strongly suggest you meditate on your breathing for 30 minutes in the morning (the mornings are worst! Try not to stare at the ceiling until 12pm every day..) And you don't have to sit in the lotus position and pretend to be buddha, just lie there and relax and concentrate on your breathing.

 

I'll be honest, there is a very good chance that with the excessive begging and pleading and general non-attractive behaviour you displayed, she will have moved on probably permanently (if not then at least for now/the next few years). You need to Google Corey Wayne. Watch his videos on YouTube and get his book if you like. But that man has made me see the light! I know now what I did to turn her off, make her want to leave me and ultimately how I need to change to make sure this **** NEVER happens to me again.

 

ps NO CONTACT! WHATSOEVER! PERIOD!

 

Good luck brother!

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First of all, let me tell you - I (we) have been to this place... Some further into it than others but most of us have seen this dark pit of desperation you are now staring into and it sucks. It sucks worse than anything else. Feel free to bawl your eyes out into your pillow and be sad, but rest assured YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!

 

Now, your gf is gone. You don't have to accept it just yet, but deep down you know that eventually you will get past this.. Stay with that feeling, and you will begin to feel calm, even for a moment it is better than nothing.. Try to stay with that or go back to that state a couple of times a day. I strongly suggest you meditate on your breathing for 30 minutes in the morning (the mornings are worst! Try not to stare at the ceiling until 12pm every day..) And you don't have to sit in the lotus position and pretend to be buddha, just lie there and relax and concentrate on your breathing.

 

I'll be honest, there is a very good chance that with the excessive begging and pleading and general non-attractive behaviour you displayed, she will have moved on probably permanently (if not then at least for now/the next few years). You need to Google Corey Wayne. Watch his videos on YouTube and get his book if you like. But that man has made me see the light! I know now what I did to turn her off, make her want to leave me and ultimately how I need to change to make sure this **** NEVER happens to me again.

 

ps NO CONTACT! WHATSOEVER! PERIOD!

 

Good luck brother!

 

 

I'll be honest, there is a very good chance that with the excessive begging and pleading and general non-attractive behaviour you displayed, she will have moved on probably permanently (if not then at least for now/the next few years).

 

Opss **** that hurts...DAAAMN. Ho I know I fckd up..believe me I do. The funny of all of this is..that I still have hopes jajaja. Aint that something.

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Can't tell if serious or trolling.

 

I wish it was trolling..at least I would feel allot better bout myself ..unfortunately it is not. It happened..and love can drive you insane.

 

Remember women are driven by emotions , usually us fellas we are not..but when WE DO Happen t to fall for a woman (AKA EMOTIONS are going high) we tend to act different . or rather irrational sometimes...aka what happened to me.

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HowMightI-live

I would ask you not to contact her but im pretty sure you're going to contact her anyway,so whats the point. You haven't really grasped that its over yet. Don't worry though, she will show you. When that happens and you really get it; its going to suck. Its going to hurt, big time. But that will be the start of the journey you're about to go on. It will be painfully slow. It will feel unbearable at times. Its going to split you open and show you your self but dont worry, it will make you a stronger person, if you allow it to happen. This is your chance, your moment. This is a blessing in disguise, you will be okay, trust me.

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