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How to break up with gf who cheated


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So I found out my gf of 2 years cheated on me while I was studying abroad, maybe even since then. I got tipped off about it, and wanted to be sure and quickly found confirmation on her phone that she did cheat and just was hoping I'd never find out. Yeah I know snooping in messages in wrong, but cheating is worse. The cheating is bad enough, but what makes me furious, is that we had fights while I was abroad and it came to the point where we discussed taking a break, but everytime she refused and said if we took a break we were done forever. So now she goes and cheats on me instead which to me is infuriating. I'll add I was 100% loyal during my travels.

 

I know her well enough now that she always wants to be the victim in the breakup, she wants to be dumped, never dump. Furthermore, I came back and spent over $300 on christmas and valentines day for her, all while she lets her parents think I am selfish and undeserving for going abroad (which she saw as ditching her). She has this attitude that I "owe her" and should be "kissing her ass" to make up for studying abroad.

 

My question comes down to how to break up. I've already been nice enough to wait until after she has a big exam. I know the proper thing to do is confront her, but part of me doesn't see the point. She wont admit anything and will deny this till she dies in an effort to preserve her reputation. Not to mention I have nothing good to say to her at all, shes dead to me. So half wants to be decent a give her a face to face break up. Another part of me is so infuriated that I just want to send a text explaining it and be done forever, I have no feelings for her and she deserves not even my effort to confront her. But I know some people say a text breakup is the worst thing ever, which I agree. But in the case of someone cheating, I hardly think they deserve a single thing. Does anyone have any thoughts?

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Sorry this happened. Good for you for not tolerating it and best wishes to you, with moving forward.

 

I know you're angry and hurt. Do the right thing (even though she didn't) and break up with her, face to face.

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Thanks for your reply. My only issue with face to face is I don't get the point. Not only did I read that she cheated on me, but the logic was "I hope he doesn't find out but if he does I'll just deny it", so what can come out of it? Telling her I read it off her phone sounds like a no go and opening for her to attack me for reading, which leads to a screaming match and most likely me saying some awful things to her and vice versa

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Well then, don't. Just leave. Honestly, its whatever works best for you. I wouldn't waste any more time thinking about her. Just take care of you!!!!

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Its true you don't owe her anything but that's no reason to lower yourself. Do the right thing (even if she didn't) and break up with her face to face.

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Friskyone4u

Why do you care if she "attacks "'you for reading her phone. She has lied to you , deceived you and has no remorse about it.

You should confront her , tell her what you know , and be done with her.

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To be honest I wouldn't give that much detail in how you found out. I would just say something like "I know you cheated. That's unacceptable. I deserve better. We're done". Let her fester about the details meanwhile you keep your dignity and go full steam NC. You don't owe her anything really. Cheating is a deal breaker....period. I wouldn't even give her the satisfaction of listening to her scramble to justify her actions. Just be done with it and move on.

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What you do is you sit her down and you say "I am tired of all your sh** and I do not want to be in a relationship with you - so thats it, we are done, good bye and good luck"

 

Then you walk away, block, ignore, delete etc.

 

It doesn't matter if she thinks she is a "victim" or not. Just get the hell out!

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SoThatHappened

Find the hottest girl you know (or can find). Show up with her somewhere that your girlfriend will see you two together. When she confronts you about it just say, "I thought we were seeing other people?"

 

Nah, just tell her goodbye with all the dignity you can muster then become a ghost.

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ManyDissapoint
So I found out my gf of 2 years cheated on me while I was studying abroad, maybe even since then. I got tipped off about it, and wanted to be sure and quickly found confirmation on her phone that she did cheat and just was hoping I'd never find out. Yeah I know snooping in messages in wrong, but cheating is worse. The cheating is bad enough, but what makes me furious, is that we had fights while I was abroad and it came to the point where we discussed taking a break, but everytime she refused and said if we took a break we were done forever. So now she goes and cheats on me instead which to me is infuriating. I'll add I was 100% loyal during my travels.

 

I know her well enough now that she always wants to be the victim in the breakup, she wants to be dumped, never dump. Furthermore, I came back and spent over $300 on christmas and valentines day for her, all while she lets her parents think I am selfish and undeserving for going abroad (which she saw as ditching her). She has this attitude that I "owe her" and should be "kissing her ass" to make up for studying abroad.

 

My question comes down to how to break up. I've already been nice enough to wait until after she has a big exam. I know the proper thing to do is confront her, but part of me doesn't see the point. She wont admit anything and will deny this till she dies in an effort to preserve her reputation. Not to mention I have nothing good to say to her at all, shes dead to me. So half wants to be decent a give her a face to face break up. Another part of me is so infuriated that I just want to send a text explaining it and be done forever, I have no feelings for her and she deserves not even my effort to confront her. But I know some people say a text breakup is the worst thing ever, which I agree. But in the case of someone cheating, I hardly think they deserve a single thing. Does anyone have any thoughts?

 

Gotta love the cheaters who want to maintain their rep. Basically when she cheated on you she disrespected you and hurt you very much. If breaking up with her by text or some other impersonal way makes it easier for you, you have the right to do it. At this point if you save an ounce of pain by causing her a gallon of hurt, it's the right choice for you.

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When my ex cheated, I cut him off cold. The idiot doesn't get to see me or hear my voice again. He soon realized he has been dumped and I left him to figure out why on his own (he should know!). I didn't even want to give him the chance to explain *cough* sorry I mean lie to my face and blame everything on me. So just walked away and said nothing x

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Crickets, she's damaged goods, her word means nothing. If people ask why you broke up with her tell them the truth specially if you know the name of the guy or guys she cheated with. She only has one reputation, she's a liar and a cheater.

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Blindsided breakup, they're the worst. Just announce, no explanation, no answers to the questions. Just

I've decided that we need to see other people
or however you want to phrase it.

 

If she asks why, then you just say something like

you shouldn't focus on the why. you need to focus on the what.

 

Grab your stuff, then go in good conscience. If she hasn't taken the exam yet, you might want to meet her outside the classroom. Personally, I'd walk her to the exam, and tell her right before she goes in, but that's just me.

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Find the hottest girl you know (or can find). Show up with her somewhere that your girlfriend will see you two together. When she confronts you about it just say

 

do you think I'd look good in this?

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

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If she hasn't taken the exam yet, you might want to meet her outside the classroom. Personally, I'd walk her to the exam, and tell her right before she goes in, but that's just me.

 

+1

 

That's not a bad idea :lmao:

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How cares if she gets mad at you? Just keep a straight face and stay calm while she is yelling and screaming then get her out of your life.

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Personally, I'd walk her to the exam, and tell her right before she goes in, but that's just me.

 

Excellent idea!

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Just break up with her. She cheated on you, so I wouldn't worry about the fact that you found out by way of her phone/seeing her messages. I have cheated before and people only find out by "invading" the cheater's privacy intentionally or unintentionally. I don't know that it's really an invasion of privacy.

 

 

Just tell her, or text her, and say something like "I'm breaking up with you. I know you were unfaithful and that's a deal breaker." or however you would put it in your own voice. If you can do it in person and just walk away after, do that.

 

 

I would avoid anything that screams of "revenge": e.g. someone mentioned telling everyone why you broke up and the names of the people she cheated with. You sound like a good person, so take the high-road. Remember that your business is your business. If you're mad at her, then be mad at her that makes total sense and you're "entitled" to being upset and angry. You don't have to justify breaking up with someone because they cheated on you.

 

 

Again, as a cheater - there's something wrong with her that she needs to work on. It's hard to make a relationship work after infidelity. And if you're young and have the future ahead, just chalk it up to a life experience and move on.

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Blindsided breakup, they're the worst. Just announce, no explanation, no answers to the questions. Just or however you want to phrase it.

 

If she asks why, then you just say something like

 

Grab your stuff, then go in good conscience. If she hasn't taken the exam yet, you might want to meet her outside the classroom. Personally, I'd walk her to the exam, and tell her right before she goes in, but that's just me.

 

That's terrible advice and sounds hateful. The original poster doesn't sound like a hateful person at all. Be yourself and be honest. Just tell your gf you're breaking up with her because you found out she cheated on you. And tell her that she hurt you and it was a ********* move on her part.

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Thanks for your reply. My only issue with face to face is I don't get the point. Not only did I read that she cheated on me, but the logic was "I hope he doesn't find out but if he does I'll just deny it", so what can come out of it? Telling her I read it off her phone sounds like a no go and opening for her to attack me for reading, which leads to a screaming match and most likely me saying some awful things to her and vice versa

 

Wow, not only is she a Cheater but she is also a Liar! Whew!

 

HOW TO BREAK UP WITH GF WHO CHEATED?

 

Tell her, "I found out you cheated on me and said if I found out you would just deny it. You are a tramp and I don't want you anymore. Please don't call or text me again."

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I know a lot of you may have thought this was kinda a stupid question, but this was my first serious relationship, not just first time being cheated on and I just didn't know how to handle it.

 

So I ended up sending the text. I had classes all day as did she, so I brought up early that we needed to talk, then was giving hints as to why and she just wasn't budging. So I finally asked her if theres anything she wanted to tell me about her and the other guy and I got a "I'll talk to you when I'm home" text. Honestly, I know breaking up in person is right, but I felt she deserved not another minute of my life, plus I didn't feel like going over to see her while its raining.

 

ended up just saying there was nothing to talk about and we both knew how it would go, I bring it up and she denies and tries to tell me its a rumor, but that I'm not naive enough to believe that, told her not respond or try to contact me and that I won't respond. I appreciate everyone who gave their input into the situation, I'm just ready to get on with my life now and enjoy being single for a while

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So I found out my gf of 2 years cheated on me while I was studying abroad, maybe even since then. I got tipped off about it, and wanted to be sure and quickly found confirmation on her phone that she did cheat and just was hoping I'd never find out. Yeah I know snooping in messages in wrong, but cheating is worse. The cheating is bad enough, but what makes me furious, is that we had fights while I was abroad and it came to the point where we discussed taking a break, but everytime she refused and said if we took a break we were done forever. So now she goes and cheats on me instead which to me is infuriating. I'll add I was 100% loyal during my travels.

 

I know her well enough now that she always wants to be the victim in the breakup, she wants to be dumped, never dump. Furthermore, I came back and spent over $300 on christmas and valentines day for her, all while she lets her parents think I am selfish and undeserving for going abroad (which she saw as ditching her). She has this attitude that I "owe her" and should be "kissing her ass" to make up for studying abroad.

 

My question comes down to how to break up. I've already been nice enough to wait until after she has a big exam. I know the proper thing to do is confront her, but part of me doesn't see the point. She wont admit anything and will deny this till she dies in an effort to preserve her reputation. Not to mention I have nothing good to say to her at all, shes dead to me. So half wants to be decent a give her a face to face break up. Another part of me is so infuriated that I just want to send a text explaining it and be done forever, I have no feelings for her and she deserves not even my effort to confront her. But I know some people say a text breakup is the worst thing ever, which I agree. But in the case of someone cheating, I hardly think they deserve a single thing. Does anyone have any thoughts?

 

Simple.

 

Look her in the eye and say

 

"GET THE FECK OUT OF MY LIFE YOU LOW DEGENERATE SCUM BAG!"

 

Walk off before she responds and block all communications.

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The only reason why she wanted to meet you in person is because she hoped she could chew your ear off until you believe her and then start crying when it doesn't work for pity.

 

You wrote it yourself perfectly - she isn't worth another minute of your life.

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It wouldn't have worked because I am 100% sure, but she is a huge crier and I'm too nice of a person if that happens, I do know that much. Thanks again!

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