05259577 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Hello guys, I'm confused right now on what should I do, there is this girl who I met and I courted her but after awhile she said to me that I should stop courting her, and the reason is that she is still not ready and she is still not complete because of her past. Now I'm confused if I should still wait for her to be fine again or should I stop this little fantasy of mine for us to be together? Link to post Share on other sites
jus d'orange Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Your life shouldn't wait for anybody. You aren't in a relationship with this person, and although you may have aspirations at that changing, sitting around 'waiting for them' won't really help or change that. Return the focus to what you want in your life outside of this person, and if she ever changes her mind and you're available, you could always pursue things then. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 05259577 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Thanks for the advice, totally appreciated it Link to post Share on other sites
Holmes85 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 05259577, You are giving us very vague information. If you want to have a proper answer you should tell us things a bit more in detail (if you want to of course). How old are you two? How long you have you been together? What is about her past that is hindering her progression with you? Based on what you have said, the only advice I can give you is, let her sort out her problems on her own, she wants to do it without you, give her exactly what she asked for. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 05259577 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Holmes 85, Well, I met this girl through my friends and she was always hanging out with us and I started to like her after some time and I started courting her for maybe a good 1 month. It was great at the start, we're both happy where our relationship is heading, but after we passed the first month, the tide started to change. Everytime we're talking over the phone we don't talk that much and most of our conversations will be complete awkward silences, then after that there are times that she would not answer my calls even reply to my text messages. Then she texted me a message saying that I should stop courting her, she wanted to say it early but she was dominated by fear and she was not ready and complete because of her past relationship. And we're both 20 years old. Link to post Share on other sites
Stercrazy Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Sounds like she's not into you.....and that's ok. You guys talked for a month and there was just no spark. Awkward silence is a killer. Move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jus d'orange Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 It may not make you happy right now, but I strongly recommend respecting what she says and backing off. If she says she's not ready, trying to get involved can only lead to heartbreak. Meanwhile, if you return the focus to yourself, you can let go of the worry you feel about this situation. As an added bonus, by moving on you will show this girl that you're strong and independent, traits which are definitely attractive. This means that if she's ready at some point, she'll probably come looking for you. If you sit around and wait for her, she'll start to see you as a backup plan, which is not where you want to be in life. Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 (edited) Sounds like she's not interested. Her loss. You can't force someone to be into you - you just need to be yourself and as things flow and happen, you'll see if you two are compatible. I wouldn't wait around for her because chances are she is talking to another guy already or has completely given up on wanting to be with you. The whole "I'm not ready" is a screen for I don't want to be with you...some times girl would say that to me and then end up in a relationship with another guy a month later. Edited March 1, 2015 by lauri Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I'm not ready for a relationship is an excuse & it's only part of the reason. That sentence is missing an important prepositional phrase at the end: "with you." If she was really into you, she'd be ready. Think of it this way, you have a great meal & you are totally full. You can't eat another bite. Your stomach even hurts a little. Then somebody brings out your favorite dessert in the whole world, something you don't get a lot of that you haven't had in a while. Your mouth waters & some how you find room for that dessert. It's the same thing. If she really wanted you, her past would be a distant memory already. So no don't wait for her but don't be shocked when she starts dating somebody else pretty quickly. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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