thorin Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 I know this girl for almost a year. There was saying "I love you", holding hands, a lot of sex...but lately she's been telling me she doesn't love me, and she wants to stay friends. So today I told her I want to end this. It was amazing year with her, she's beautiful, intelligent, but I don't wanna meet as friends with her. It's really painful, she was my first girlfriend. How long will the pain last? I'm 21, she's 20. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Everybody grieves differently and at different paces after the loss of a relationship. It will take a while to get over. Don't force it. Feel the feelings. Be upset. Let yourself heal. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
quattrob Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 I know this girl for almost a year. There was saying "I love you", holding hands, a lot of sex...but lately she's been telling me she doesn't love me, and she wants to stay friends. So today I told her I want to end this. It was amazing year with her, she's beautiful, intelligent, but I don't wanna meet as friends with her. It's really painful, she was my first girlfriend. How long will the pain last? I'm 21, she's 20. Hey TC, i know how that feels. How can someone say I love you, hold your hands and have sex with you all of a sudden change or decide they dont love you anymore? Its a difficult question but thats how some of the people in the world we live in works. People say "I love you" too easily when they dont know what it means to love. Love is commitment, that to me is the most important part about love, without commitment and trust there can be no such thing as love. You will get over the pain and realize that she never loved you to begin with, she just enjoyed your company and attention and then she got bored. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jus d'orange Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Hey Thorin Sorry you're going through this. The pain will eventually come to an end. In the meantime, the best thing you can do for everyone involved is to respect her decision and make the break between the two of you clean. This means you need to break off all contact with her and hold yourself to the idea that no matter how sad, angry, or lonely you feel, you mustn't contact her. Instead, start focussing on yourself and your goals. You will heal from this and if you can use the pain as motivation to make some changes in your life, you can come out of this stronger and wiser, and will therefore have better relationships in the future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NC-Thomas Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I know this girl for almost a year. There was saying "I love you", holding hands, a lot of sex...but lately she's been telling me she doesn't love me, and she wants to stay friends. So today I told her I want to end this. It was amazing year with her, she's beautiful, intelligent, but I don't wanna meet as friends with her. It's really painful, she was my first girlfriend. How long will the pain last? I'm 21, she's 20. The first one is always the most painful too lose. The pain will last as long is needed but will get less and less as time goes on. Best thing, trust me, is not to be friends! You know that will not work! If you do, you will hurt indefinitely. I know you don't want to hear this, but look at the upside, you are only 21... You will meet many other great girls on your life, probably even better ones. Last thing, read my signature. You deserve 100%, not 10%. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thorin Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 Yesterday evening I told her not to contact me, I deleted her number, blocked her on facebook, threw out her stuff, removed out photos, told friends not to cintact her, etc. She just said she understands but still wants to remain friends. She called me an hour ago, and asked me what am I doing and if Im angry. It lasted a minute, I just told her to delete my number and forget about me. But all bad feelings came back after that call. This whole concept of ending a relationship and not meeting her ever again scares me. What do I do if she texts or calls me again? Link to post Share on other sites
Stercrazy Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Well you can block her number in your phone. I did. I tested it too with a friend's phone. Texts come back as "errors" in delivering and when dialed the voice mail comes on saying this number is not accepted. Try that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thorin Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 (edited) It's bad - I don't want her to miss me, I don't want her to think I'm childish cause I blocked her on facebook, I don't want her to dissapear from my life. I'm thinking about breaking nc and agree to friendship. I still think about what she's doing. I can't get her out of my mind for even 10 minutes. We were also great friends besides the relationship. Why do I take this so seriously? Are these feelings normal? I threw out great friendship only becuase she told she doesn't love me and wants to end intimate contacts Edited February 28, 2015 by thorin Link to post Share on other sites
NC-Thomas Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 It's bad - I don't want her to miss me, I don't want her to think I'm childish cause I blocked her on facebook, I don't want her to dissapear from my life. I'm thinking about breaking nc and agree to friendship. I still think about what she's doing. I can't get her out of my mind for even 10 minutes. We were also great friends besides the relationship. Why do I take this so seriously? Are these feelings normal? I threw out great friendship only becuase she told she doesn't love me and wants to end intimate contacts Good luck with being friends with someone that put you next to the trash. You and I both know that will backfire and probably create another 15 extra pages in this thread. Agree to friendship is like agreeing to mental suicide. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Stercrazy Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I'm a believer that once the intimacy line is crossed you can't go backwards. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thorin Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 Thanks a lot, I guess I needed to hear that, holding to no contact 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Nolan 93 Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 No friendship its what's best. Me and my ex split and I'm never going to be her friend..why? Cause we were intimate and I don't want to see her with another guy. By becoming friends you gain nothing. You just end up in the friend zone if that's what you want go ahead. But for me it's either were and intimate couple or were nothing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Stercrazy Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Yeah for me once intimate I wouldn't want to see her with another guy either. Being a friend is just self inflicted torture. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 No contact is the best way forward. Not only will it shorten your recovery time, it will protect you from being hurt again by her. No direct messages. That includes replies. No indirect contact through third parties. No monitoring via social media. No 'little birds' feeding you news. Delete, block, ignore. Before long you will be feeling better. Good luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Stercrazy Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 To be honest.....we had NC for like 2.5 weeks when we initially broke up with me. Then we had limited contact which turned into more contact however she still didn't want to get back together. In the mean time I dated which also delayed the healing. Now I have complete NC and I might date at the beginning of the summer.....might. Take some time for yourself to get your head straight. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thorin Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 I broke no contact and heard the same line for the 100th time - "I don't wanna commit yet, I wanna have fun - but I might want to commit in the future". She's been telling me this over and over in the past. I really don't know how could I date such a bitch - having sex, "exclusivness", holding hands, but in case she does something it would be "hey, we were not in a relationship!". How can someone do that? Link to post Share on other sites
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