Sandrino Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 This girl who i dated for 8 months, cheated on me with her ex, we broke up. 3 months later she's crying for me back. So i give her a chance. Within a couple of days, i find out she was telling her ex she loved him, while we were dating and spending the night with each other. He never knew she was with me, and she was playing him. They werent even hanging out. So as she was screwing me, she was telling him she loved him every night. How terrible is that? The guy didn't even know, he gave me his Facebook info, because he found out we were talking and wanted to prove she was telling him she loved him each night, and i read their messages. They were only talking through Facebook. They weren't even hanging out. She was just playing him through facebook. Would you go back to someone like this? Why do women do this? I love this girl, but now i have to move on. Because now, she broke up with me again, and is already back with him after a couple of days. Even after he found out he was being played, he took her back, Lol. What do i do? Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 There is nothing you can do....except block her, delete from phone, social media and your consciousness. And go no contact. And be thankful you found out what a b*tch she is now rather than later.....let her ex have her! You deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
badpenny Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Throw a party - you dodged a real bullet there! Goodness me, they deserve each other....better for two shallow people to be together, and make each other miserable, than make 4 people miserable....! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sandrino Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 There is nothing you can do....except block her, delete from phone, social media and your consciousness. And go no contact. And be thankful you found out what a b*tch she is now rather than later.....let her ex have her! You deserve better. What i dont understand is why the ex would take her back after finding out he was being cheated on and played. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 After all that I can't believe you're still wondering what to do Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 People do this when they are attention seeking. She is messed up - walk away - don't look back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 I'm a strong believer that when a girl loses interest in you its over forever. There is almost nothing you can do to fix it or change her mind. Your first mistake was trying again with her. I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume when she first broke up with you she tried to branch swing back to her ex (or another guy). Im going to also assume things were not going to plan once she did this...like you went no contact or the other guy wasnt willing to commit. So when this happened she risked everything with you (her security and comfort), so she panicked and manipulated you into taking her back (by crying). This pattern isn't uncommon and has happened to me a few times, plus I see it a lot in the break up forums. So now you're asking why did she leave you again? Because now that she had you as a safety net, she could use you to try things out with another guy who she perceives as an upgrade from you. So all in all, she was playing you. Once a girl breaks up with you, it's done because she has built up all these reasons and thoughts behind why things won't work for months, sometimes even years. She left you before to upgrade she will leave you again once the next best thing comes along. So now, what do you do? You block her, delete her and ignore her. You aren't a plan B for her, as a matter of fact, for anyone. You have to believe you are worth much more than how she has treated you and you won't stand for it. Trust me when I say it, you've dodged a selfish manipulative woman. Be grateful you can learn from this and apply better techniques to other women so you can improve yourself for the new amazing woman you'll find. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 What i dont understand is why the ex would take her back after finding out he was being cheated on and played. You took her back after she cheated on you. You stayed with her even when you knew she was playing behind your back. You're only away from her now because she ended it with you. Otherwise you'd probably still be with her. You're no different than the other guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sandrino Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 I'm a strong believer that when a girl loses interest in you its over forever. There is almost nothing you can do to fix it or change her mind. Your first mistake was trying again with her. I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume when she first broke up with you she tried to branch swing back to her ex (or another guy). Im going to also assume things were not going to plan once she did this...like you went no contact or the other guy wasnt willing to commit. So when this happened she risked everything with you (her security and comfort), so she panicked and manipulated you into taking her back (by crying). This pattern isn't uncommon and has happened to me a few times, plus I see it a lot in the break up forums. So now you're asking why did she leave you again? Because now that she had you as a safety net, she could use you to try things out with another guy who she perceives as an upgrade from you. So all in all, she was playing you. Once a girl breaks up with you, it's done because she has built up all these reasons and thoughts behind why things won't work for months, sometimes even years. She left you before to upgrade she will leave you again once the next best thing comes along. So now, what do you do? You block her, delete her and ignore her. You aren't a plan B for her, as a matter of fact, for anyone. You have to believe you are worth much more than how she has treated you and you won't stand for it. Trust me when I say it, you've dodged a selfish manipulative woman. Be grateful you can learn from this and apply better techniques to other women so you can improve yourself for the new amazing woman you'll find. Did you read the part where she was playing the ex? She was telling him she loved him, while she was getting physical with me. He found out, and told me she was playing two faces. So, he gave me his facebook login to prove it. So he got pissed and told me i can have her. But then after all this she breaks up with me, just to go back to him a couple of days later. Seemed like she just likes to play. She was playing us both, and treated the ex boyfriend like ****. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sandrino Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 You took her back after she cheated on you. You stayed with her even when you knew she was playing behind your back. You're only away from her now because she ended it with you. Otherwise you'd probably still be with her. You're no different than the other guy. Zahara you are exactly right. He is just as emotionally bruised as i am. He loves her, i love her, and she plays, knowing she can have us both whenever she damn well pleases. He allows her to screw with his head along with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Zahara you are exactly right. He is just as emotionally bruised as i am. He loves her, i love her, and she plays, knowing she can have us both whenever she damn well pleases. He allows her to screw with his head along with me. So you know what to do. Block and remove her. The only one that's going to keep suffering is this guy because she's going to continue to treat him badly. You on the other hand, you've been bestowed a blessing -- freedom and the ability to move forward and possibly find someone that will love you in the TRUE sense and respect you. You need to block her because at some point she's going to tire of him and seek you for fresh attention. Protect yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Macattack Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 This girl who i dated for 8 months, cheated on me with her ex, we broke up. 3 months later she's crying for me back. So i give her a chance. Within a couple of days, i find out she was telling her ex she loved him, while we were dating and spending the night with each other. He never knew she was with me, and she was playing him. They werent even hanging out. So as she was screwing me, she was telling him she loved him every night. How terrible is that? The guy didn't even know, he gave me his Facebook info, because he found out we were talking and wanted to prove she was telling him she loved him each night, and i read their messages. They were only talking through Facebook. They weren't even hanging out. She was just playing him through facebook. Would you go back to someone like this? Why do women do this? I love this girl, but now i have to move on. Because now, she broke up with me again, and is already back with him after a couple of days. Even after he found out he was being played, he took her back, Lol. What do i do? Tell her you found out you have herpes. You will not hear from her again. LOL 3 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 What i dont understand is why the ex would take her back after finding out he was being cheated on and played. I have no idea....only HE can answer that question. More importantly though...why do you care what HE did? You should focus on what YOU should do which is to block, delete, go no contact and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sandrino Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 I have no idea....only HE can answer that question. More importantly though...why do you care what HE did? You should focus on what YOU should do which is to block, delete, go no contact and move on. It seems we both have the problem of being so in love with her, that we allow her to treat us both like ****. But it seems like he has the upper hand either way. But either way, she cheated on him with me. Simply put. But he still takes her back. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 It seems we both have the problem of being so in love with her, that we allow her to treat us both like ****. But it seems like he has the upper hand either way. But either way, she cheated on him with me. Simply put. But he still takes her back. lol It's not "love" that's causing you both to stay with her. It's something deeper than that. When you start allowing yourself to be disrespected this way without having any boundaries, it's probably not love anymore but a toxic dependence on her -- love doesn't feel this way. Love isn't justification for accepting poor treatment. And it surely isn't enough. The fact that you see him as having the upper hand rather than seeing what a bullet you dodged is an indication as to how poorly you value yourself and the standards you have set for yourself. If anything, you have the upper hand. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Sorry OP. I know you're looking for sympathy. But YOU chose to go back to a woman that cheated on you. She already demonstrated that she has no integrity so what made you think she was suddenly going to change? It always amazes me how many guys chase after their ex GF's. An ex is an ex for a reason. On my bday, an ex GF sent me a really sincere sounding happy bday text. You know what my response was? "Thnx" Leave the past in the past where it belongs. Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 OP, Take this girl back to your place, bang her hard and then tell her to get out and you never want to see her again. In this case I think it's justified. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 It seems we both have the problem of being so in love with her, that we allow her to treat us both like ****. But it seems like he has the upper hand either way. But either way, she cheated on him with me. Simply put. But he still takes her back. lol Agree with what Zahara said. Allowing yourself to be treated like trash has NOTHING to do with love. To the contrary, it has everything to do with very low self-esteem, insecurity, neediness and feeling like you don't deserve better. In fact, you might not actually "love" her at all...because you can't truly love *someone else* UNLESS you love YOURSELF first... it's most likely infatuation mixed with some sort of a dependence like Zahara said. So work on loving yourself and raising your level of self-esteem.....perhaps with the help of a qualified therapist... and this type of thing won't happen and if it does...you won't tolerate it and leave. It's gonna take time for you to get there...so good luck and ((hugs)). Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Why do women do this? I love this girl, but now i have to move on. Because now, she broke up with me again, and is already back with him after a couple of days. Even after he found out he was being played, he took her back, Lol. What do i do? One word. Attention. She loves the attention. Treat her like the ho-bag she is. Shower her with attention when she has sex with you. Then cut the cord until the next sexual encounter and do it again. Girls like that are like pavlovs dogs and should be treated as such. Use her for what she's worth. Very little. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sandrino Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 It's not "love" that's causing you both to stay with her. It's something deeper than that. When you start allowing yourself to be disrespected this way without having any boundaries, it's probably not love anymore but a toxic dependence on her -- love doesn't feel this way. Love isn't justification for accepting poor treatment. And it surely isn't enough. The fact that you see him as having the upper hand rather than seeing what a bullet you dodged is an indication as to how poorly you value yourself and the standards you have set for yourself. If anything, you have the upper hand. Its hard to have self respect for yourself after someone has shown you that they dont see you as anything more than a safety net, a doormat, NOTHING. Its hard. I've struggled with self respect mostly my whole life, and someone that i loved, that couldnt care less about me to do this to me? That just made it even worse. But it feels good that not only did she do it to me, she did it to the one she obviously cares for more as well. Knowing he went back, after what was done to him, makes me feel a little better. But then again, i have to deal with that someone i loved, didnt respect me at all for anything. And to answer someone elses question. Yes i did bang her hard, multiple times throughout the week while were back, and thats why the ex boyfriend was so pissed. I told him i was screwing her and she was lying to him. But he still went back after a couple of days.. lol Why cant i just find someone thats worthy of not being so immature about these types of things? Monkey branching from guy to guy is not mature at all and i dont understand it.. I was single for 3 months after her, and she came back just to do it again, now i have to re-heal myself. I need to find a way to stop going back, to stop being so down on myself. What can i do? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Its hard to have self respect for yourself after someone has shown you that they dont see you as anything more than a safety net, a doormat, NOTHING. And that is because YOU allowed it. It isn't her responsibility to uphold your self-respect, it is yours. She saw you for what you were because you projected yourself as a doormat and as a safety net. If you had strong boundaries, self-love and values within yourself way before she ever crossed your path, you would have exited this situation long before you rolled down all the way to the bottom of this rabbit hole. Its hard. I've struggled with self respect mostly my whole life, and someone that i loved, that couldnt care less about me to do this to me? That just made it even worse. But it feels good that not only did she do it to me, she did it to the one she obviously cares for more as well. Knowing he went back, after what was done to him, makes me feel a little better. But then again, i have to deal with that someone i loved, didnt respect me at all for anything. The thing is OP, if she chose you, you'd be back with her too. Time to start figuring how you never let yourself go down this road again -- step one is to block her. Have you done that already? Why cant i just find someone thats worthy of not being so immature about these types of things? I need to find a way to stop going back, to stop being so down on myself. What can i do? Block her from all access into your life. Until you love yourself and find your boundaries, you'll most likely keep asking this same question over and over again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sandrino Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 And that is because YOU allowed it. It isn't her responsibility to uphold your self-respect, it is yours. She saw you for what you were because you projected yourself as a doormat and as a safety net. If you had strong boundaries, self-love and values within yourself way before she ever crossed your path, you would have exited this situation long before you rolled down all the way to the bottom of this rabbit hole. The thing is OP, if she chose you, you'd be back with her too. Time to start figuring how you never let yourself go down this road again -- step one is to block her. Have you done that already? Block her from all access into your life. Until you love yourself and find your boundaries, you'll most likely keep asking this same question over and over again. Your right. But what about the ex? I know i shouldnt care, but he was screwed over too, and now hes just going to deal with that? Why didnt he throw her out for doing that? If im a doormat, then shouldnt he be one too? For allowing her back in after what she did to him? Because he was so set on not talking to her again, and now that im gone, hes back. Seems i lost on everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Your right. But what about the ex? I know i shouldnt care, but he was screwed over too, and now hes just going to deal with that? Why didnt he throw her out for doing that? If im a doormat, then shouldnt he be one too? For allowing her back in after what she did to him? Because he was so set on not talking to her again, and now that im gone, hes back. Seems i lost on everything. You need to stop worrying about her ex. If she didn't pick him, you'd still be with her. So you can't question his actions when you yourself would have done the same thing. He's a doormat. You are a doormat. What difference does it make? You keep focusing on this because you can't stand that he is with her. You can't stand that she still has someone in her life and you're left with nothing. But you keep failing to realize that none of you have/had a prize on your hands. Have you blocked her? Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Your right. But what about the ex? I know i shouldnt care, but he was screwed over too, and now hes just going to deal with that? Why didnt he throw her out for doing that? If im a doormat, then shouldnt he be one too? For allowing her back in after what she did to him? Because he was so set on not talking to her again, and now that im gone, hes back. Seems i lost on everything. This is completely focusing on the wrong things. The Titanic is going down, and instead of looking for a lifeboat, you are worried that the man across the way has a scuff mark on his dress shoes. I mean, nothing is going to get better when you don't even have the wherewithal to focus on the primary problem at hand. He has his own problems. You don't seem to have a handle on yours, so stop worrying about his. smh Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Who cares why? The lesson is, that's how it goes. Just don't give in again, and I mean EVER again. Link to post Share on other sites
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