Broke up 2 years ago and can't get over him

[sophia90]

I broke up with my ex boyfriend almost 2 years ago and Im really struggling to move on. We were together 4 years, lived together for 3 and it was an extenekt volatile but intense, passionate and deep love. The volatility mainly was due to the fact that we were both using drugs quite heavily..it started out recreationally but ended up being quite excessive, mainly coke, which brought out the worst in both of us. It was chaotic but we were still best friends and knew each other inside out.

 

We decided to split, at the time amicably because we agreed we needed to get straight and had tried and failed doing it together. It's hard when you're both using drugs heavily as it just takes one of you to fall off the wagon and you set the other one off. I ended up using coke daily for about 6 months after we split and he was using drugs heavily too..I also ended up working in a strip club and just having a crazy year really..it wasn't a very nice place in my life.

 

I then used the money to go travelling for 6 months, he moved back to his home town and we both sorted ourselves out. I came back and wanted to see him but he was seeing another girl and said he still loved me and wasn't over me but he needed something 'normal' and feared he would go back to that lifestyle with me. I understood..and we still talked often at first. Eventually he said he thought it best to break contact as he couldn't move on.

 

Since not being able to speak to him I've really really missed him and still think about him daily and literally my stomach aches thinking about it. I've tried my best to move on, I also moved to a new city, new hobbies, friends etc, no drugs! Ive gone out with a few guys, I'm seeing one now seriously who is amazing but I honestly don't think I'll ever feel that way about someone else. I'm not usually a cheesy person but I feel like he's soulmate and even when it was crazy and at times horrible I always thought we'd end up together and work it out. I've tried emailing him and telling him how I feel but he won't even speak to me now and is living with this girl so there's not much I can do. I guess if it was meant to be he would feel the same so I've just got to move on. It just feels like it should have got better by now.

 

This is just a rant really but if anyone has any advice or has also had trouble moving on after such a long time let me know.

[BC1980]

How long has it been since you haven't talked to him? It might have been 2 years, but you were still talking to him for 1 of those years and I'm guessing you were ineffectivly grieving/coping by using drugs. All of that delays your ability to move on.

[evanescentworld]

Oh, you know, I think you've moved on rather well...don't you?

[Holmes85]

sophia90,

 

You have been through a lot.

 

First let me congratulate you on not using drugs anymore and getting your life back on track.

 

Your Ex Boyfriend has a girlfriend right now. I would strongly advice you not to contact him and let him be, as it wouldn't be fair for the girl he's with. Second you also have a boyfriend and talking to your Ex Boyfriend is a step towards betrayal.

 

If I were you, I would put my effort in the relationship I am in. With time you would have the same connection with this guy as you had with your Ex. You just have to allow yourself to feel that again.

 

After a breakup, a person should always take their time off instead of jumping back into a relationship again. It's not fair to the person you are involved with that you are half heartidly with them and still think of sparking things with your Ex.