The worst day of my life. My heart is broken.

[Tolu2d]

Hey all, I'm new here for all the wrong reasons, however I really need to get some stuff of my chest.

 

A long post, so please bare with me.

 

I'm English and my ex was Canadian. We met whilst I was finishing my last year of University and she was living in London. I was 23, she was 19. It was meant to be a hookup, but we fell for each other straight away and she ended up staying at my house for an entire week...and meeting my family!

 

I finished University and we spent around 6 months travelling, including me going over to Canada to be with her. I came back to England to get a driving licence for the benefit of us both, though it has taken much longer than anticipated. 10 weeks at the point of break up.

 

To cut a long story short, I met up with a "friend" last weekend who has always been jealous of me being with my girlfriend. He is a particularly immoral person, for example he hookups with vulnerable drunk girls, prostitutes and does more drugs and drink that you could think of. I am his only friend in the world, but he is from a part of my life where drinking and non-stop partying was the norm for me.

He always was very jealous of the time I spent with my girl during. The last few months of University.

 

He has also failed University twice. Basically an immoral loser. Anyway we got drunk and took pills, and he then invited these two girls over. I ended up kissing one of them, realised my terrible mistake, and told my girlfriend over the phone via long distance!! As soon as I did I realised what I had done, and my heart was pounds out of my cheat. The girl wanted to go all the way, but she could see something had upset me.

 

I know, what a fool I am for telling her over the phone, but I was out of my mind and I just felt she needed to know the truth about her boyfriend. She has since broken up with me because of it, and says she will ship all of my stuff (about 2ks worth) over from Canada.

 

I was meant to be going back in just over a week! It was the worst day of my life, and never have felt like genuinely committing suicide. That day I actually say down and contemplated the most painless way to end it, I was drowning when she said it was over. We even have a little dog together we bought whilst abroad, and I will never see the little guy again.

 

However the reason she gave for the break up was that she loved me as a friend and feels the relationship has run it's course. She says she is still young and wants to meet new guys, especially when she goes to University in the fall. Said she has been thinking about it for around two weeks.

 

I feel hopeless right now. We went through so much together, and it is all now finished. All of my hopes and dreams are gone. I won't be going to work in Canada, despite my visa, and I will never see her or our little puppy again.

 

Heartbroken isn't the word!

 

I'm tired of living, and now part of me is willing to die.

[Tolu2d]

I just want her to be happy now, I even prayed for her to have strength. I know that true love no bounds, and I now her happiness if far more important to mine. I love her with every ounce of my being, and I pray she goes on to find happiness.

 

I could not care one joy about myself right now. 9mm to the head seems like good medicine for someone like me.

[hangingbyathread]

People make mistakes... you cheating on your girl was wrong...but at least you were honest about it... feel good about that. She had every right to know asap and you gave her that... by the sounds of things though she will be no real loss and definitely not worth losing your life over. You are still young too and there is a whole world out there for you to live... i think we have all been to that point...that darkest hour...total despair where you feel your heart being stomped on all over the floor.. its a suffocating feeling. take it from someone who knows those feelings well... IT DOES GET BETTER.... not right away... probably not for a long time... but eventually.. bit by bit you will start to feel goodish again... step by step you will heal a little more each day... there will be days where you go a little backwards..and thats ok... cry...have a drink...sing it out..do what you gotta do but don't give up. Time heals most wounds..one day it will just be a bad memory...i know its hard but keep yourself busy... believe that it happened for a reason..this could of saved you from an even harder break up later on down the track. Hold on

[Tolu2d]

I just feel like I can't ton on right now. I went travelling to Europe to try and sort my head out, but all I've done so far is get wasted every night.

 

We were both 100 percent in love when I left, and I left to do something for us both. It's been horrible living at home with my parents, but I was doing it for us to make our lives better. It's been 10 weeks of utter bore dome and depression, and no were is just more of the same.

 

The next months are going to be a living hell.

 

She has our little puppy, and I was the one who decided to buy him. He is my dog too, and now other guys will treat him as theirs.

 

Not going to lie though, she has hit me in the past, and emotionally cheated on me with others via text.

 

I will really miss our dog, and can't stand the idea of other guys coming over and petting him ect. He is my damn dog too, and if wasn't for me she would not have him.

Edited January 30, 2015 by Tolu2d

[Light Breeze]

However the reason she gave for the break up was that she loved me as a friend and feels the relationship has run it's course. She says she is still young and wants to meet new guys, especially when she goes to University in the fall. Said she has been thinking about it for around two weeks.

.

 

Not going to lie though, she has hit me in the past, and emotionally cheated on me with others via text.

.

 

First, yes, you cheated but at least you're honest and remorseful. Learn from this and avoid as much as possible getting into this kind of situations while you're in a relationship. Cheating because you got drunk or wasted wouldn't be taken as an excuse.

 

Second, your ex is 19, and that says it all. She's young and will want to sow her oats, so to speak (is that term even used for girls?). Now, at least you know before you got more emotionally invested.

 

Third, and the MOST important point, she abused you and cheated on you. Dude, that's the the two worst deal breakers ever, what made you stay in this relationship? If she hadn't ended it, you would still probably be with her. Yes, there are happy times but imo it doesn't outweigh the abuse and the cheating. Brother, see the good in this, you dodged a Nuke.

[Tolu2d]

First, yes, you cheated but at least you're honest and remorseful. Learn from this and avoid as much as possible getting into this kind of situations while you're in a relationship. Cheating because you got drunk or wasted wouldn't be taken as an excuse.

 

Second, your ex is 19, and that says it all. She's young and will want to sow her oats, so to speak (is that term even used for girls?). Now, at least you know before you got more emotionally invested.

 

Third, and the MOST important point, she abused you and cheated on you. Dude, that's the the two worst deal breakers ever, what made you stay in this relationship? If she hadn't ended it, you would still probably be with her. Yes, there are happy times but imo it doesn't outweigh the abuse and the cheating. Brother, see the good in this, you dodged a Nuke.

 

 

Well she only hit me with her phone. She didn't cheat per say, I just caught her a few times flirting with others guy via text, and one time she knew I'd found out and she deleted all the texts super quick, but as far as I know she never physically did anything.

She blamed a male friend for the texts and lied to my face about it, and it turns out it was never him. I always wondered what she must have said in those texts as she deleted them super quick.

 

I did kiss another girls yes, but I told her right away. Seems like she could lie to me no worries.

 

I'm just heartbroken over it.

[Light Breeze]

If she hit you once then she can do it again. Was she even remorseful?

 

Physical cheating is not the only way of cheating. You said it, she emotionally cheated and even lied to you about it. For others, that's even worse than the physical one. Also, don't wonder about those deleted texts, I suspect, deep down you know the answer to that...

 

Again, you dodged a Nuke.

 

In regards to the kiss, yes, you told her right away but it doesn't mean you are now excused. You could have prevented that from happening in the first place. Water under the bridge though, we all make mistakes. Lesson learned I hope.

 

Now it's time for you to heal and move on. Go NC, and be a better version of yourself.

[marcelo.santos]

She says she is still young and wants to meet new guys, especially when she goes to University in the fall. Said she has been thinking about it for around two weeks.

 

I'm very sorry for what is going on.

 

Its a bit dangerous to go on with a girl that has this kind of things in mind - this do not necessarily means that she would cheat you one day.

 

You told her that you are sorry and you want her back, correct? So go NC and move on - there is nothing more you can do - if you try to contact her again it will not help you and it will hurt you more and more...

 

Meanwhile, try to move on: Time is your friend. You will learn that is hard to loose someone but it will not kill you in the end.

[Radu]

I just feel like I can't ton on right now. I went travelling to Europe to try and sort my head out, but all I've done so far is get wasted every night.

 

We were both 100 percent in love when I left, and I left to do something for us both. It's been horrible living at home with my parents, but I was doing it for us to make our lives better. It's been 10 weeks of utter bore dome and depression, and no were is just more of the same.

 

The next months are going to be a living hell.

 

She has our little puppy, and I was the one who decided to buy him. He is my dog too, and now other guys will treat him as theirs.

 

Not going to lie though, she has hit me in the past, and emotionally cheated on me with others via text.

 

I will really miss our dog, and can't stand the idea of other guys coming over and petting him ect. He is my damn dog too, and if wasn't for me she would not have him.

 

Sounds like you dodged a massive bullet.

 

19 ... Canadian [laws over there are almost more anti-male than in UK] ... abusive ...

I'll add something else as well ... the reason she wanted to break up with you anyway was because she met another guy.

'i want to be free and date' is code [especially for a 19yr old] for meeting someone else.

 

You did the right thing by confessing this [and try to be honorable] and you ended up giving her the moral highground to end it.

[mightycpa]

You're 23, and you're old enough to understand now, so I'm going to be the one who tells you.

 

LDR's generally don't work. Things that help make that don't work are:

 

1) youth

 

2) short time of knowing each other

 

3) one or both parties yielding to other temptations while apart

 

You're suffering from the shock of the unexpected. You are agog in disbelief. You drank the Kool-Aid, as we say here in the colonies, and it turned out to be a suicidal potion.

 

Nobody in the world is worth that. Get yourself a nice local job, a couple of nice local girls and enjoy the only youth you've been given. I promise you that if you spend the next couple of years moping around over this bird, you're going to regret it.

[Tolu2d]

I don't think she met another guy, I even asked her that. She always had trust issues with me anyway. When I told her she was devastated and had to leave work. I just pushed for a decision and she gave it.

 

I know one of her "friends" is into her, and he obviously had been in her ear.

 

The inks we spent 4 months on the road together and living in each others pockets. I mean how can I even begin to get over those memories.

 

I didn't doge a bullet a all, especially since I'm far far from perfect.

 

I miss her so much and I don't know how I will cope through this.

[FailedFirstLove]

You cope like how everyone else does. Do things for yourself. Change your life and change yourself.

 

In the end it's your choice whether you want to live the next few months or years moping around or live a happy life.

 

It's your life. Your in control. Get a new job. Work towards your individual goal. You don't like living with your parents? Get a job and move out. There are things you can do to keep busy.

 

You have to know. There are other things in life. GOODLUCK! Distract yourself. Keep busy. Give it time.

[Kinetica84]

Hey all, I'm new here for all the wrong reasons, however I really need to get some stuff of my chest.

 

A long post, so please bare with me.

 

I'm English and my ex was Canadian. We met whilst I was finishing my last year of University and she was living in London. I was 23, she was 19. It was meant to be a hookup, but we fell for each other straight away and she ended up staying at my house for an entire week...and meeting my family!

 

I finished University and we spent around 6 months travelling, including me going over to Canada to be with her. I came back to England to get a driving licence for the benefit of us both, though it has taken much longer than anticipated. 10 weeks at the point of break up.

 

To cut a long story short, I met up with a "friend" last weekend who has always been jealous of me being with my girlfriend. He is a particularly immoral person, for example he hookups with vulnerable drunk girls, prostitutes and does more drugs and drink that you could think of. I am his only friend in the world, but he is from a part of my life where drinking and non-stop partying was the norm for me.

He always was very jealous of the time I spent with my girl during. The last few months of University.

 

He has also failed University twice. Basically an immoral loser. Anyway we got drunk and took pills, and he then invited these two girls over. I ended up kissing one of them, realised my terrible mistake, and told my girlfriend over the phone via long distance!! As soon as I did I realised what I had done, and my heart was pounds out of my cheat. The girl wanted to go all the way, but she could see something had upset me.

 

I know, what a fool I am for telling her over the phone, but I was out of my mind and I just felt she needed to know the truth about her boyfriend. She has since broken up with me because of it, and says she will ship all of my stuff (about 2ks worth) over from Canada.

 

I was meant to be going back in just over a week! It was the worst day of my life, and never have felt like genuinely committing suicide. That day I actually say down and contemplated the most painless way to end it, I was drowning when she said it was over. We even have a little dog together we bought whilst abroad, and I will never see the little guy again.

 

However the reason she gave for the break up was that she loved me as a friend and feels the relationship has run it's course. She says she is still young and wants to meet new guys, especially when she goes to University in the fall. Said she has been thinking about it for around two weeks.

 

I feel hopeless right now. We went through so much together, and it is all now finished. All of my hopes and dreams are gone. I won't be going to work in Canada, despite my visa, and I will never see her or our little puppy again.

 

Heartbroken isn't the word!

 

I'm tired of living, and now part of me is willing to die.

 

I have to say mate, i have no sympathy for you with regards to cheating. I was recently cheated on and it is the most horrible feeling in the world. In that regard, my sympathy is with your ex girlfriend.

 

As you feeling suicidal. Mate, come on...... You got a great life in front of you, you're young, finished uni, you stopped drinking and drugging it. You have got a life. Listen, no partner should ever be your whole life. You should already be happy and that partner should enhance your life not dominate it.

 

Easier said than done but you have to accept that part of your life is now over. It is in the past, you don't live in the past you live in this precise moment in time so be here an now. Enjoy the beauty in the here and now and make some new memories.

 

If you're feeling this bad go talk to your family, friends, go get therapy. Don't suffer in silence. Please don't do anything stupid.

 

There are over 3 Billion women on this planet, she is just one of them. Plenty more out there buddy.

[Satu]

You need to take an honest look at the way you use alcohol and other substances...

[KBarletta]

At the moment, it sounds like you have her on a pedestal and think "how am I ever going to get over this girl"? You need to stop thinking of her that way if you are to get past this.

 

Keep reminding yourself: She emotionally cheated on you, she lied to you, she hit you.

 

She's also literally an ocean away from you. There are millions of other women closer to you, closer to your age, who won't do those things to you.

 

One more thing, you are 23 and she is 19. That's only four years on paper, but at those ages, it's an eternity. She still has a lot of growing up to do, and she clearly has plans to be with others, something she probably would have been tempted to do regardless of your kissing another girl.

 

It's tough right now, but you need to knock her off that pedestal, start focusing on making yourself a better person (try to avoid that "friend" who brings the drugs and drink), work out, eat right, get out with friends and meet other people. Give it time, and you'll be fine.