brigirl92 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Just a little info on my relationship: we dated 11 months and he broke up with me a week ago cause he didn't see us together in the long term. It was pretty amicable. Decided to go NC three days ago. Well technically I didn't break it cause he texted me first. He just asked how I was doing and I simply replied I'm doing okay. I mean I could have added how are you doing to my response, but I knew his answer would be okay too and our convo would be dead at that point. And hour later and no new response on his part. Now my brain is torturing me...I keep thinking that maybe I was insensitive for not asking him how he was doing back. This is why I have been avoiding contact, because all these feelings for him are rushing back. It sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Go back on NC. Next time, don't break it. He doesn't get to know how you are doing. It's a break-up. Treat it as such. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Well technically I didn't break it cause he texted me first. Yes you did. NC means no direct contact, and that includes replies. No indirect contact via third parties. No social media. No 'little birds' feeding you news. Delete, block, ignore. If you stick to NC you will struggle in the beginning, but you'll start to feel better in the medium and long term. Take care. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 You did great in keeping NC up and the short and abrupt response when it was broken. Since you already know that broken NC leads to more questions it seems, going back is surely best. A new text from your ex could lead to a meeting, a meeting could lead to a ex-sex, ex-sex could lead to FWB, FWB lead to meeting or hearing about the the NEW GF(because you are "just a friend" of course). There are a few stories like that on LS and it puts people into further pain than they had before. Not to say you would fall for it or the ex plans on that from just asking you how you are, but just be cautious of those type of breadcrumbs. If he doesn't see a future with you as he said, he should be letting you go so you CAN have a future with a man who does want one with you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brigirl92 Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 You did great in keeping NC up and the short and abrupt response when it was broken. Since you already know that broken NC leads to more questions it seems, going back is surely best. A new text from your ex could lead to a meeting, a meeting could lead to a ex-sex, ex-sex could lead to FWB, FWB lead to meeting or hearing about the the NEW GF(because you are "just a friend" of course). . I doubt that will happen seeing his new job put us in two different states. An entire 14 hour drive by car lol. But I do agree that it's best to go back NC cause I'm slowly but surely accepting the reality that he isn't mine anymore, but when he texts my feelings come back and I go back to square 1. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brigirl92 Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 Yes you did. NC means no direct contact, and that includes replies. No indirect contact via third parties. No social media. No 'little birds' feeding you news. Delete, block, ignore. If you stick to NC you will struggle in the beginning, but you'll start to feel better in the medium and long term. Take care. It's just hard to go the delete, block, ignore route because despite our breakup our relationship was good. I have no hard feelings for him. I'd feel like that would be an option if things were bad between us, but they aren't. But I can at least keep contact to a bare minimum, cause I do need that time to myself to get over him. Link to post Share on other sites
sober and dry Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 It's just hard to go the delete, block, ignore route because despite our breakup our relationship was good. I have no hard feelings for him. I'd feel like that would be an option if things were bad between us, but they aren't. But I can at least keep contact to a bare minimum, cause I do need that time to myself to get over him. So you are missing the point of delete, block, ignore... If you keep contact to a bare minimum you will not have the time to get over him! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brigirl92 Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 So you are missing the point of delete, block, ignore... If you keep contact to a bare minimum you will not have the time to get over him! No, I don't plan on contacting him, but since I don't see any ill intent on his part, I don't see nothing wrong with being cordial when he does contact me with small talk. But, I need to get in a place where I have zero expectation out of it. So I do get your point, but everyone's case is different. I don't think deleting, blocking, or ignoring is really necessary in my situation. I don't see us reconciling so I have no hopes for that all. Our split was necessary and in the back of our heads we both knew it. He's never done anything to hurt me intentionally so I don't see why I should cut him off. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 No, I don't plan on contacting him, but since I don't see any ill intent on his part, I don't see nothing wrong with being cordial when he does contact me with small talk. But, I need to get in a place where I have zero expectation out of it. So I do get your point, but everyone's case is different. I don't think deleting, blocking, or ignoring is really necessary in my situation. I don't see us reconciling so I have no hopes for that all. Our split was necessary and in the back of our heads we both knew it. He's never done anything to hurt me intentionally so I don't see why I should cut him off. Yes it is, look at how one text has you shook! You are never going to get to a place where you can small talk with no expectation if you keep contact with him. Honestly, you are in a fog of denial. If I had a dollar for everyone who thinks their situation is different, I could buy a pretty nice house. I mean, do what you want, but your current mentality is completely counterproductive to your overall well-being and future goals. It's just bad. If it'll make you feel better, the next time he texts you just tell him that you need time to heal and that it'd be better if you stayed out of contact for a while. But honestly, your current mentality is the equivalent of saying "Well, this piece of broken glass has never been mean to me, so I guess I should start brushing my teeth with it." Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Mental gymnastics Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Title of thread: BROKE NC, getting breadcrumbs. And then this. No, I don't plan on contacting him, but since I don't see any ill intent on his part, I don't see nothing wrong with being cordial when he does contact me with small talk. But, I need to get in a place where I have zero expectation out of it. So I do get your point, but everyone's case is different. I don't think deleting, blocking, or ignoring is really necessary in my situation. I don't see us reconciling so I have no hopes for that all. Our split was necessary and in the back of our heads we both knew it. He's never done anything to hurt me intentionally so I don't see why I should cut him off. You don't see why you should stop talking to him? BECAUSE ITS HURTING YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
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