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Ex GF text me


Firestarter1069

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Firestarter1069

It's been awhile since I've been on here but something happened recently and I don't know what to think.

 

After 3 months I got a text from my ex, it was actually a link to an article about something we shared quite often. She followed up the link with "Saw this and it reminded me of you".

 

I did respond about a half hour later telling her I saw that article also. We then had about an hour long text conversation during which she brought up several things we used to do. I did not bring up the past relationship at all I was keeping the conversation very general.

 

Why would she bring up the past, especially the great times we had in the past basically out of nowhere?

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Why would she bring up the past, especially the great times we had in the past basically out of nowhere?

 

She doesn't want you to take her out of your heart. The way to do that is by reminiscing. You worked in the same place and "lived" together for a bit so there's tons of memories. Still doesn't want to do any work to totally move on OR totally work on being back together. Emotional limbo.

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She just wants to string you along. Either the guy after you didn't work out or she is feeling lonely... whatever it is, it clearly worked and now she's got you talking to her again.

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Firestarter1069
You should not have replied

 

I probably shouldn't have but I did tell her I still want to be her friend, even if she's moved on to another guy. We were friends long before we started dating. I'm not the type of person to ignore people. I also do have confirmation that she's been alone since our break up. I know there is still something there in fact she told me she misses our conversation both in and out of the workplace. She returns to work this coming Monday and I told her I'd join her on a few breaks from now on to which she responded "good". I know it sounds silly but "good", as simple as a word that is, was an inside joke we had together.

 

Not getting my hopes up here for reconciliation but I truly do value her friendship and miss that most of all.

 

I've sent out feeler texts here and there over the past few months about some common interests in sports teams we both follow to which she did respond, but this was the first time she reached out to me first. If anything I'm happy we are on speaking terms again. Despite when people on here might thing or say she really is a good person.

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Not getting my hopes up here for reconciliation but I truly do value her friendship and miss that most of all.

 

For your sake, I hope this is true. I hope you are not thinking in the back of your mind that this is a path to reconciliation. I know that I would if I were in your shoes, which is why I could not accept an offer from an ex to be friends. I would constantly be looking for an opening to rekindle the romance.

 

It's a wonder to me that people are able to do this - be friends with an ex with no lingering strings attached. I never could, even when I was the dumper. There were always too many lingering feelings.

 

Good luck.

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I probably shouldn't have but I did tell her I still want to be her friend, even if she's moved on to another guy. We were friends long before we started dating. I'm not the type of person to ignore people. I also do have confirmation that she's been alone since our break up. I know there is still something there in fact she told me she misses our conversation both in and out of the workplace. She returns to work this coming Monday and I told her I'd join her on a few breaks from now on to which she responded "good". I know it sounds silly but "good", as simple as a word that is, was an inside joke we had together.

 

Not getting my hopes up here for reconciliation but I truly do value her friendship and miss that most of all.

I've sent out feeler texts here and there over the past few months about some common interests in sports teams we both follow to which she did respond, but this was the first time she reached out to me first. If anything I'm happy we are on speaking terms again. Despite when people on here might thing or say she really is a good person.

 

A lot of exes say this. You can't be just friends with an ex this soon. You still have feelings that you WISH reconciliation will happen. You are not indifferent yet at all. Staying in contact like this is a bad idea. You can't move on that way. Basically, you're just stuck in idle.

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She was just thinking of you and the time you had together. That was it. It doesn't mean she wants to get back together.

 

Try not to harp on it. It's probably best to not communicate with her. It will only mess with your head.

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Think of her... Naked... Having sex with another dude... Does it bother you? If it does, stay away from her until it doesn't or you will end up being hurt in all this.

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Years after relationships end, you'll come across things that remind you of an ex, makes you think of an ex, ect.

 

The same goes with inside jokes, they'll always be there.

 

Some people choose to laugh at it, an some choose to text hey I was thinking of you.

 

This was in no way shape or form was a tempted reconciliation.

 

It was a hey you were on my mind.

 

Means nothing.

 

Keep pushing forward!

 

Remember next time how you feel now, before you respond.

 

 

 

 

Barky

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OMG I am so happy for you!!! :) :) :) I wish I got the "ex text." She's obviously thinking of you, which means she misses you.

 

Goodluck!! :) :) :)

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Think of her... Naked... Having sex with another dude... Does it bother you? If it does, stay away from her until it doesn't or you will end up being hurt in all this.

 

 

^^^ Perfect advice.

 

THIS is PRECISELY why I could never be friends with an ex.

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^^^ Perfect advice.

 

THIS is PRECISELY why I could never be friends with an ex.

 

Are you a male? Because we did a survey in my Personality Psychology course. Males are very bothered when they think about their exs having sex with other men. This is because of evolutionary reasons. If a woman is sleeping with another man, then it would be hard to determine who the father is if she gets pregnant. Evolutionarily speaking, men only want to invest in their own biological children; they want to spread their own genetics.

 

If a male cheats on his gf, females would be much more hurt if he said he had emotional feelings towards that other girl. This is also because of evolution. If he is emotionally invested in another female, then he will not take care of the gf anymore and give her resources to survive. That is why females are much more forgiving if her bf cheats on her. If her bf says that it was just sex, and that he is still madly in love with his gf, then there is a better chance that he will forgive him.

 

I am not saying that this is always true!! But it seems to be the case. I just thought it was very interesting to learn because if a bf ever cheats on me, but he says that he is so sorry and that he loves only me, then there could be a chance I forgive him, unfortunately :( :(

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OMG I am so happy for you!!! :) :) :) I wish I got the "ex text." She's obviously thinking of you, which means she misses you.

 

Goodluck!! :) :) :)

 

^

 

* bashes head against wall *

 

 

 

 

 

Barky

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^

 

* bashes head against wall *

 

 

 

 

 

Barky

 

Lolol did I give horrible advice ? I'm sorry I just get super excited for people because having a broken heart sucks, and knowing that YOU have the power in the NC game... Well it's good!! But please don't bash your head against the wall I shall try to give sound advice next time.... :)

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Lolol did I give horrible advice ? I'm sorry I just get super excited for people because having a broken heart sucks, and knowing that YOU have the power in the NC game... Well it's good!! But please don't bash your head against the wall I shall try to give sound advice next time.... :)

 

Advice is great!

 

False hope is not!

 

:)

 

 

Barky

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Advice is great!

 

False hope is not!

 

:)

 

 

Barky

 

You're right it really does suck and that hope usually is false! However, I create so much false hope in my own head that I should probably be receiving my own advice!! Lol

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Simon Phoenix
Lolol did I give horrible advice ? I'm sorry I just get super excited for people because having a broken heart sucks, and knowing that YOU have the power in the NC game... Well it's good!! But please don't bash your head against the wall I shall try to give sound advice next time.... :)

 

"I miss you" does not mean "I want you back". That's one of the fundamental rules of breakups.

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"I miss you" does not mean "I want you back". That's one of the fundamental rules of breakups.

 

Lol I really shouldn't be giving out advice because one time my ex randomly liked my best friend's Instagram photo. He hadn't liked any of her or my photos since we stopped talking in September; he knew her only from me and knew she was my best friend. So I was like "praise the lord he's in love with me!!!!"

 

But then nothing happened lol ?

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^^^ Perfect advice.

 

THIS is PRECISELY why I could never be friends with an ex.

 

That's usually one of my "stop signs" when I felt tempted to contact the ex who dumped me for another. I would think: I could call him and he could be having sex with her RIGHT now. The thought of that alone just made me stand down.

 

The people who say they are friends with their ex so soon after a breakup(especially if they are the dumpee) are expecting more to come from it, even in the back of their mind. They hope to be ready to replace any new relationship their ex has or prevent one from developing. Plus some have the type of ex that use them as a doormat they throw breadcrumbs on so the whole thing is a mess.

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OMG I am so happy for you!!! :) :) :) I wish I got the "ex text." She's obviously thinking of you, which means she misses you.

 

Goodluck!! :) :) :)

 

Seriously. It's not all that good and great.

 

One of my exes from a couple of years ago broke up w me and claimed that despite feeling an emotional connection w me, didn't feel it was strong enough.

 

I went Ghost. 3 months later she started texting me to see how I was doing. I waited to respond. She lost a family member and wanted to reach out to me. We had a few long chats, some fun, great, conversations. Picked up exactly like we left off...not a skip in the beat. She mentioned that she thought about me daily. Missed me. Cried all the time.

 

She asked if i was seeing anyone and I said no. Some bad dates but nothing real. She said the same. However, she wanted to be friends and that's it. I mean, I think we could have been great friends, but a great friendship as the basis for a great relationship. I told her that I can't be just friends with someone I had real feelings for. So she said I guess that means we go our own ways.

 

And that actually set me back a bit. After the BU, I just assumed she didn't feel anything for me and I went on with things. But after she came back and texted me, said how much she missed me, etc...that kinda cemented in my mind that she still had some feelings, and was going to come back and she just had to work through things. It suddenly felt even more real.

 

But nope. That was...jeez...well over a year ago. Not a word or text since. A few months later I started dating a new girl (which also didn't last) and I'm now ready for the next great thing. This past fall, I found out through the grape vine, that she has a new guy. So she's moved on.

 

So trust me, getting an ex text isn't all great.

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Firestarter1069

I have a feeling I know what kind of responses I will get here but I'm going to post this anyway.

 

The initial text I spoke of in this thread was on Monday the 26th. Tuesday and Wednesday went by with no interaction. Thursday she initiated contact again and once again we had about an hour long text conversation. This past Monday, the 2nd, marked the 5th straight day of her initiating contact with me. Each conversation during this time went on longer and longer each day. Very general conversations might I add however she would throw in something fun we did in the past here and there. Monday's conversation went on well past her "bedtime" and when I questioned her about it being late for her she said it wasn't a problem.

 

She didn't text me last night and probably won't tonight, Tuesday's and Wednesday's are super long days for her at work.

 

Since she's been initiating contact with me I truly feel like she's reaching out to me. I'm considering initiating the next contact which I know goes against a lot of the things I've read on here, I would just hate to not at least throw something out to her so she knows I'm here for her. If I don't I fear her reaction would be, WOW he totally missed the signs. Even if they aren't signs I'm willing to deal with that, but if they are signs I know I'd regret not at least feeling her out.

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