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Is it bad timing... eventually reuniting?


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[color=blue]Hi Everyone...

 

Thanks for including me in this group. Hopefully I'll be able to help others as well as recieve input from others! :D

 

My situation is interesting...

 

I knew my ex for almost 4 years before we started dating. We dated for three months. The third of the three he was out in the field for harvest. I saw him maybe five times during October... and each time was late at night and we went straight to bed. (He lives about 45 minutes away.)

 

A few nights ago, I asked him whether or not he wants me to go along with him during this transition in his life. (He graduated from college in May, and is now going to have to start establishing himself.... by finding a real job. He wants to stay in this area.) After three hours of deep thought, he decided this is something he needs to do alone. He wants to be with me, but it isn't fair to put me "second best." He said he's worried that once he's more settled, such as in a couple months, he'll regret this choice.

 

I was frustrated and disappointed when he left that night. The next day I sent an email apologizing for how I acted, and saying that I want to stay friends. I also said that I have a feeling that this may be bad timing and there may be a chance for us in the future. He replied to my email, relieved that I wanted to keep contact. He also said only the future knows if we'll get back together, and he's not ruling out anything.

 

He left a few things at my place that he said he would rather he pick up than have me mail to him. After we get less busy (in about a month) I'll probably have him come get them.

 

I have accepted the fact that he needs to be alone right now. I'm not angry, hurt, or hanging on to hope that we'll get back together. I'm busy and pursing my degree, and I'm very social. The thing is, I have a feeling that this is bad timing, and all the time in the field... (aka: time to think), and the distance had an affect on him.

 

I am not looking for anyone to tell me that I need to move on. I am capable of that and I have. What I am in search of, is reading thoughts on couples getting back together... and how does one know when he/she should be the first to make contact? Before we started dating, we talked about every other day. Do I wait for him to contact me, or do I contact him since I need to tell him when he can come get his things?

 

I feel this relationship didn't get a fair chance. We only had 2 months to move out of our friendship and into something more. Only the future knows what is meant to be for both our lives.

 

Thank you in advance for your input and thoughts... they're appreciated![/color] :)

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Since you have some of his things and he intends to retrieve them, he will need to contact you at some point in the future. I would leave the next contact up to him. After that, I'd clarify with him exactly how he wants to handle the situation. Should you call or should you just wait to hear from him. You need some guidelines on how you're supposed to act if you're going to be respectful of his wishes.

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