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how long did it take to move on??


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I need some of people who realy moved on of a ((((true love)))) how much did it take...cuz I don't feel like doing any progress after 47 or just very little progress to be true.... tell me did you have that feeling it willnot go...and u ll spend ur life that way till you die?

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Sweetescape910
I need some of people who realy moved on of a ((((true love)))) how much did it take...cuz I don't feel like doing any progress after 47 or just very little progress to be true.... tell me did you have that feeling it willnot go...and u ll spend ur life that way till you die?

 

I've been through many hard breakups. And at first, you'll be in denial, you'll be angry with yourself and everyone around you. The hardest part of it all for me was not being 100% honest with myself, and coping with my crushed feelings in unhealthy ways. You know what is best for you, so when you lead your life in a destructive path you'll feel like you don't know where to go or who you are. Surrond yourself with positively and supportive friends and family. Be more of a friend to yourself than an enemy, and life will fall into place, no matter how much you try to fight your fate.

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1 year. and the feelings (of dislike, anger, hurt, etc.) still surface from time to time. but no feelings of love/like remain.

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I need some of people who realy moved on of a ((((true love)))) how much did it take...cuz I don't feel like doing any progress after 47 or just very little progress to be true.... tell me did you have that feeling it willnot go...and u ll spend ur life that way till you die?

 

My previous ex--13 years together. Broke up 5 years ago. Took me about 4 years to get to the point where I was ready to let anyone else in.

 

My current ex--about 10 months together. Broke up in early November. Should be over it, but am not.

 

Yes, with my previous ex, I didn't think that the pain would ever stop. Eventually, it did ease up. It stopped being intense. I stopped crying every day. I regained my focus at work. I began to laugh again. I began to feel creative again.

 

With this ex, it's just a profound feeling of disappointment, as it was an LDR, so not as much time spent in person as was with the previous ex. It's been a little harder to shake because I'm making myself do OLD and I'm really not impressed with what's out there. Then again, I"m doing eHarmony. :shrugs:

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I need some of people who realy moved on of a ((((true love)))) how much did it take...cuz I don't feel like doing any progress after 47 or just very little progress to be true.... tell me did you have that feeling it willnot go...and u ll spend ur life that way till you die?

 

 

Moving on is a strange term.

 

I have ex who i will always have affections for so is it more of a case i learned to live with my feelings?

 

It takes as long it takes dude. Everyone moves on differently, it also depends on the situation.

 

All you can really do is just work on yourself, take one day at time, remove all traces of your ex and do a disappearing act dude.

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15 year relationship with my first love. Very bad breakup. He cheated and left me for her. A year and a half later I feel nothing. I took the break up very badly. I cried everyday for 4 months. I started to work on myself (personally and professionally) and went on a few dates with people 8 months after BU, but was not ready. I made the choice to stay single for a bit more and finally felt ready 15 months post BU when I met someone I thought would just be a fun short term thing. That is when I realized I was finally ready for something serious.

 

Find your independence again and be happy with yourself first. It is hard work and it feels like you will never be okay, but it really does get better. At 1.5 years post BU, I'm really glad the BU happened as harsh as it did. There is no turning back or wondering "what if..." I feel really lucky that I did not end up with him. The best revenge that drove me toward improvement was to live better, be more successful and happier than my ex.

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Sweetescape910

You recieved so much great advice, from even someone who dated someone for FIFTEEN YEARS. Don't best yourself up if you feel like you should be moved on by now. Always remember your a human with a huge heart and emotions that some day you will share with someone else who is better for your than your ex. I still haven't met the one yet, but being positive about my exes really helped me move on. Don't give them all the power. Regain your power and be the independent person you know you are.

Humans will always, no matter what, fight for survival.

 

When you look back and see how much you moved forward from this breakup, and your able to have that moment of crystal clear clarity and a new found perspective (a very positive, healthy perspective) that's when you know your headed torwards the right track.

 

 

For now, work on one aspect of your self or life that you need to fix. Usually when we go through breakups, humans tend to try to fix everything about their lives, and it's too emotionally draining. What I'm trying to say is, one step at a time. Quality over quantity.

 

 

Hang in there. You'll get through it, whether you like it or not!

 

It's easy to soak in bed and be negative, but when you fight to move forward, the reward is very fulfilling. Keep your mindset healthy, and if you really need to, go to a psychologist. Sometimes we need professional help to lead us to the right track.

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About 11 months till I could say I stopped having

panic/anxiety attacks.

 

And maybe another 3 months to reach the state of

mind where loving her is absolutely not possible to

imagine.

 

So in total 13-14 months to completely contain the

trauma. It will always be a part of me, but it is stored

in it's quarantine and pushed aside.

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I'm about 5 months PU now and I feel great to be honest, last month I've been hitting the gym crazy and really going for it. I've been dating and I'm kinda speaking to this girl atm, it occurred to me this evening that since i've been involved with this new girl, I've not thought about my ex, this last month the pain has gone away.

 

I think eventually you just get to the point where the whole "there's plenty more fish in the sea" saying actually becomes true and you realise there's a lot out there.

 

good luck.

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About 11 months till I could say I stopped having

panic/anxiety attacks.

 

And maybe another 3 months to reach the state of

mind where loving her is absolutely not possible to

imagine.

 

So in total 13-14 months to completely contain the

trauma. It will always be a part of me, but it is stored

in it's quarantine and pushed aside.

 

I am happy that you are over this.

 

Answering the question, 2 yrs relationship, it's been one year after the bu, and still thinking about her but it's whole new experience than it been before, i know i am on the path to forget her, however it will take some more time.

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1 year. and the feelings (of dislike, anger, hurt, etc.) still surface from time to time. but no feelings of love/like remain.

 

Same, 1 year. No love/like...but hurt/resentment/ dislike there, but not hate. Sometimes i almost feel bad for her and wish her a happy life, but other times I wish horrible things. I wonder how long before the benign indifference I am search for. It's like searching for the fountain of youth for me right now.

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