lovelost90 Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Hi All, This is my first post on this website and would like to be heard. I recently lost the love of my life. We were together for almost 2 years. She had a 9 year old non verbal autistic daughter with the mind of a 1 year old. Our relationship started with us just hanging out and going on dates just the 2 of us. She mentioned she had an autistic daughter but i didn't really know about autism at the time and really didn't phase me. As the months went by our love grew deep and our connection was unlike anything ever. Eventually she moved in 5 months in with her daughter at my house. As time went on her kid started to annoy me and stress me out. I noticed that it started affecting my relationship with the woman i love. I tried everything from hitting the gym for stress to reading and educating myself on autism. But my impatient and high tempered self still couldn't accept her as my own. The last 6 months of our relationship were on and off which included her moving out and moving back in and that whole cycle. Then came a point where i realized that i needed to let her go as much as i loved her and didn't want to let her go. It was for her own good and her daughters. she needed someone that would take her in as her own and love her too not just her mom. Im in so much pain knowing that i couldn't be the man for her daughter. And that i had to let her go because of it. I know she was the one and i know if her daughter didn't have intellectual disabilities i wouldn't be here right now crying my eyes out. But i had to do the right thing for her and her daughter as much as it hurts me. I couldnt be selfish. Anyone else lost who they know was the one because of something you werent capable of doing ? Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 If you think you can't you won't. If you think you can you will. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Jabs06 Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I really feel for this woman, imagine how she must feel right now. I'm in a situation where my partner of 3yrs has just split up with me blaming it mostly onto my children, he doesn't want to be a family with us. My children have no difficulties. I feel for you too though but do you honestly think she was the one?? I tend to think if you love someone enough you can conquer most things if you both really want too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
coconutexas Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 @lovelost90 I, too, feel as if I could have possibly lost my "one." I, similarly, broke off the relationship for what I perceived to be the greater good for her. I was in a interracial relationship, and ended it b/c my family, namely my mom, wouldn't accept the fact that her white son loves darker skin. We dated 2 years, and it has been about 2.5 months since breaking it off... I still get that anxious feeling in my stomach when I think about her. I recently found out she is seeing someone new, and am quasi happy for her, but still think what if, and fear I might always... That said, I don't wanna sound cliché, but dude, if it is meant to be, it will be. I do believe that, and it is always what I tell my friends at the end of long life conversations. It is my mantra right now. I have to take my own advice, or I'm a hypocrite. Now, it will be what it's meant to be, doesn't mean sit passively by and wait, I believe you gotta make things happen. I recently sent my ex some of her favorite things with a note professing my hope for a future together. To my dismay, she told me that right now she thinks we need to explore other routes, and it hurt so much... but all hope is not lost. It will be what it is meant to be. I know I didn't solve your problem, but know that God has great plans in store for you. If these feelings don't fade, don't let fear of change, or pride keep you from your happiness. Hang in there, man. Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Well, I don't think you let her go for her own good. You let her go for your own good. Honestly, who can blame you? Her daughter is severely autistic, and it really isn't an easy challenge to take on. My friend's grand son is autistic, and when he has a bad episode, everybody in the building can hear him scream. It's really hard, for the child, as well as for the family. Not an easy task to raise a child, even less when the child is autistic. Even if I believed in the soul mate concept, I still wouldn't think she was yours. If she was, you'd be with her. It's okay to say "no, not the life I want". I feel bad for the mom, as she has limited options. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Kids make it a package deal. Your annoyance and stress with her daughter was greater than your love for her. This does not a soul mate make. Link to post Share on other sites
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