A general vent

[cmack102]

As trivial as this may sound, it's a big deal to me, and if this site and the community within it is anywhere near as good as I've been told, I know that I can get support here, and I'm very thankful for anyone who takes the time to read and respect what I say. My boyfriend and I of just over 6 months decided to mutually end our relationship yesterday, and I know at 17 I'm not supposed to be a love expert, nor understand or have a 'serious relationship' but it feels very real. But I can't help but feeling like this is a very difficult situation for me to navigate, firstly because I've never done it before and secondly because it's mutual. We still love each other deeply and care for one another, but at the same time we can admit that it was inevitably not going to work and we'd both known that for a while. Now the issue I'm having is that every time I try to initiate NC, I end up crawling right back. I feel like if I were to see him one last time and say everything that needs to be said in person and not over text, then I could end it on a good note, despite being incredibly hurt inside. I'm not sure what I hope to achieve by posting on here, but I feel like I need to vent and let it out, and if you take the time to read and reply to this, I'd like to sincerely thank you, people say your first love is the hardest to get over, but it's even harder if you're trying to end on good terms.

[Ieris]

It's your first time going through this sort of thing, so cut yourself some slack. There is no right way or wrong way, just your way. You do what you feel is right, if meeting him one more time to say your goodbyes will help you then go for it.

 

I know people are quick to suggest NC but personally I only use that for bad break ups. If the guy is genuinely a good person, I will not cut someone off so brutally. Respect them enough to treat them with some decency.

 

Your guy doesn't sound bad so I would say just give each other some time and space to get over each other rather than "we're not talking no more!" Block and delete.

[PaperCrane]

First loves are where most of all your first mistakes are made. One of them being trying to control what happens after a breakup. The best option is to read the NC guide and go your own way.

 

You said it yourself, it was never going to work. It doesn't matter on what note it ends now. Each attempt at contact will have unconscious or conscious ulterior motives.

 

I know it's hard, I know it's painful. And he best way to deal with this is to cut it out from your life as quickly and cleanly as possible. Trying to make amends or change perception is like tonguing a sore in your mouth and not just letting it heal.