Back here again

[PersonaPersona]

Recently, I got dumped twice by the same person. I was here a few months back with a cry for help. Now, I'm back and it's much worse.

 

 

I've been having a pretty rough time moving forward in the healing process. I haven't spoken to my ex in nearly a month, my heart has been hurting so much lately. I see my ex at school everyday and yes, we both act like we don't exist. We don't see each other that much since we only have one class together, but when we are in the same room, he talks to his friends and I talk to mine.

 

 

The first time he dumped me was just before summer vacation, so I was fortunate enough to not have to seen him for a couple of months, which I used to get over it the first time. This time it's different because we're not even halfway through the school year and I have to see him every day, delaying the healing.

 

 

I am so exhausted of putting up a front that I'm alright and that all is well then coming home and crashing because it still hurts. I dream about him, I keep replaying the day we broke up, it is getting really bad! It just hurts to see that he doesn't really care.

 

 

And yes, I know I know, you might say that he is doing the same thing I am. But, truth is, he really doesn't. I have known this guy for years, and instead of dealing with the world, he clouds himself in fiction and movies and that is literally all he thinks about. I guess it's a coping mechanism he uses so he doesn't ever have to feel pain of grief. Because, how can any one go without feeling anything at all?

 

 

It just hurts, we used to be best friends. Not only am I losing my lover for good, but my best friend as well. Have I come to accept that? Not completely. I can't focus on anything without him creeping into my thoughts, especially in class where I don't have many to talk to and I can hear him talking in the background. I can barely focus on work because I'm always wondering about if he's noticed me and it drives me nuts. I thought it'd be easier the second time around. I even feel like an idiot for letting it happen again.

[mapofyourhead]

I'm sorry this happened to you. I took a quick look at some of your other threads and although we have different backgrounds with our exes, I'm in a similar situation. My ex wanted to get back together, then wanted to break up a few months later. I've also been NC for about a month.

 

It's really unfortunate that you have that one class together, but try to focus on yourself and ignore what he's doing. I know how it feels because I've run into my ex several times and it's hard to ignore each other and act like everything is okay. But it might be a good thing that he doesn't care. It hurts but in the end, it'll help you move on. Don't waste your time or thoughts on someone who didn't think you were important enough to stick around for, who disrespected you during the relationship, and who doesn't even care enough to mourn.

 

I know it's hard, and there's not much I can say except that time will make it better. Gradually the emotions will clear and allow you to see him for who he really is. It's not that much easier the second time around like I thought it would be, either. I feel stupid for giving my ex a second chance, but let's not beat ourselves up about it. We believed them, gave them another chance, and they screwed it up. We deserve better.