Jimmyjackson Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 I was dumped 3 months ago by my ex girlfriend, my first relationship. I feel a lot better now and the urge to contact her isn't there anymore, the idea that she'll never come back is starting to become more and more apparent each day. I was wondering how you know when you're fully over it? or are there cases when you'll always have some unresolved feelings such as them being in the back of your mind from time to time? Like I said, this was my first relationship so not sure how far along I am in the recovery process. Link to post Share on other sites
Jenmarie Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 When you can see them or picture with someone else, and not give a ****. That's how I see it. Link to post Share on other sites
heartbroken1357 Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 Hi there, how long were you guys together? My ex gf split up with me 2 and a half years ago after a 2 year relationship, 4 months later I was in another relationship that lasted 10 months before that girl cheated on me multiple times, what I soon realised is I deserved better then that, and it actually resurfaced all my emotions for my ex before! I didn't know till afterward that I was indeed rebounding. the first gf left me for another guy, and both hooked up with people I knew and considered friends. what I can tell you is if there was genuine feelings of love there you will always care for them but at the same time wouldn't give them the time of day, you become indifferent. My first girlfriend I will always care about, it's hard to forget a first love. My other two exs hurt me to the point I no longer gave a **** about them, if someone doesn't want you in thier life, it's not your loss it's theirs! I'd say it took me 2 years to get over my first love who I was with for 2 years. But I'm a very emotional and caring person so it depends on each persons mentality. hope this helped Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jimmyjackson Posted November 27, 2014 Author Share Posted November 27, 2014 Hi there, how long were you guys together? My ex gf split up with me 2 and a half years ago after a 2 year relationship, 4 months later I was in another relationship that lasted 10 months before that girl cheated on me multiple times, what I soon realised is I deserved better then that, and it actually resurfaced all my emotions for my ex before! I didn't know till afterward that I was indeed rebounding. the first gf left me for another guy, and both hooked up with people I knew and considered friends. what I can tell you is if there was genuine feelings of love there you will always care for them but at the same time wouldn't give them the time of day, you become indifferent. My first girlfriend I will always care about, it's hard to forget a first love. My other two exs hurt me to the point I no longer gave a **** about them, if someone doesn't want you in thier life, it's not your loss it's theirs! I'd say it took me 2 years to get over my first love who I was with for 2 years. But I'm a very emotional and caring person so it depends on each persons mentality. hope this helped We were together for 9 months, not a massive amount of time but long enough to develop a connection. I know I had love for her as 3 months later I still think of her from time to time, not sure whether she did or whether she thinks about me or not. I'm beginning to feel more like myself these past three weeks, I know I'm a good guy, confident, funny etc but there's not a lot of girls out there really in my opinion that are worth the time and effort Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jimmyjackson Posted November 27, 2014 Author Share Posted November 27, 2014 When you can see them or picture with someone else, and not give a ****. That's how I see it. Still got her on Facebook and not seen anything like that yet, but I guess if I did it would probably bother me a little yeah, so maybe I'm not as far along as I thought I was .... Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 Still got her on Facebook and not seen anything like that yet, but I guess if I did it would probably bother me a little yeah, so maybe I'm not as far along as I thought I was .... Have to ask this. Why? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jimmyjackson Posted November 27, 2014 Author Share Posted November 27, 2014 Have to ask this. Why? not sure really, neither of us deleted each other... I don't contact her or anything so it makes no difference now...especially 3 months down the line. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jimmyjackson Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 It's nearly 2am, I thought I was doing well and getting over her but for some reason I just can't stop thinking about her. It's so annoying spending so much time thinking about someone who no longer feels the same and probably never thinks of you at all. I keep wondering whether she actually ever did love me, if she didn't then it would be a shame. I sound pathetic, I find myself with a tear in my eye and I hate it. I thought I was progressing...apparently not... Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 When you can look back at the relationship and smile. Link to post Share on other sites
Chatmonkey Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 It's nearly 2am, I thought I was doing well and getting over her but for some reason I just can't stop thinking about her. It's so annoying spending so much time thinking about someone who no longer feels the same and probably never thinks of you at all. I keep wondering whether she actually ever did love me, if she didn't then it would be a shame. I sound pathetic, I find myself with a tear in my eye and I hate it. I thought I was progressing...apparently not... I stay up late each night and I feel the worst when it gets around 10pm-2am. Night times are the hardest. Go to bed. Link to post Share on other sites
The Poster Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 It's nearly 2am, I thought I was doing well and getting over her but for some reason I just can't stop thinking about her. It's so annoying spending so much time thinking about someone who no longer feels the same and probably never thinks of you at all. I keep wondering whether she actually ever did love me, if she didn't then it would be a shame. I sound pathetic, I find myself with a tear in my eye and I hate it. I thought I was progressing...apparently not... This is normal. When I broke up with my gf at night I was sad. The very next day I felt fantastic. Positive, hopeful, etc. Then I fell HARD for the next few days. Then I had another day where I felt good. Then bad. Today was mixed. It sucks and it's hard. I know a lot of thoughts run through your head. A lot of questions. A lot of confusion. Just keep pushing man. I broke up with my very first gf 3 years ago. We dated for almost 2 years and it was very painful for a long time. Mainly because she was my first, but also because I had a ton of regrets and those killed me too. I learned a lot from that relationship though. I found out yesterday that she's married now. To the guy she dated right after me, and I didn't care. We had a pretty messy break up, but eventually the bitterness and the sadness were washed away. She treated me well and I hope she's happy, but I'm over it. And trust me, there were a million instances where I thought I would NEVER get over her. But I did, and you will too. Stay strong and keep faith that something great will come your way. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 When you see them with someone else and you don't care. Welcome to my world. (0= Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 As long as it takes for the memories to fade enough that there is no pain left. For me it's been nearly a year.. Still hurting a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 When you don't have to ask the question "Am I over my ex?" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 You will always remember your first love. Everybody does, and should. Over the course of my life and many relationships, I always used to think about the most recent ex in my lonely moments. Admittedly, even if I knew the relationship wasn't right, I still thought of them often... Even if I was single for a long period after.. It wasn't till I'd meet someone new that the real feeling of indifference came. It's love that you miss. Not necessarily her in particular. You are healing, I can tell by your words of confidence and that you know you have a lot to offer. Focus on yourself and doing things that make you happy and give you purpose. You will meet someone else and know love again. I promise. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jimmyjackson Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 When you don't have to ask the question "Am I over my ex?" Haha I actually thought that when I posted it...oh welll... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jimmyjackson Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 You will always remember your first love. Everybody does, and should. Over the course of my life and many relationships, I always used to think about the most recent ex in my lonely moments. Admittedly, even if I knew the relationship wasn't right, I still thought of them often... Even if I was single for a long period after.. It wasn't till I'd meet someone new that the real feeling of indifference came. It's love that you miss. Not necessarily her in particular. You are healing, I can tell by your words of confidence and that you know you have a lot to offer. Focus on yourself and doing things that make you happy and give you purpose. You will meet someone else and know love again. I promise. Thanks for that, I feel a lot better this morning. I guess the positive is that I used to always feel like I did last night at 2am; now it just happens on occasion. Yeah I get you, like even if they decided to come back you know it wouldn't work out and it wouldn't be the same, yet you still miss them. Recently I have been recognizing my own value and I know I do have a lot to offer, I get a lot of comments about how I'm funny...I hear girls like that haha. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I was wondering how you know when you're fully over it? Well you will know you are over her when you don't have an interest to come here and question it. I've heard it takes 1/2 the time of the relationship to get over a break up. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
CT98 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 In my experience you know you're fully over them when you've met the next one and they're so much better than the one who ditched you. Link to post Share on other sites
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