tricky situation

[chados]

we were together for 3 years and had a long distance relationship. i saw her 9 months every year because she could come here during her breaks and i could take off from work cause i have my own company. she took one of these birth control shots and she didnt react very well to this before, apparently she started crying and got extremly depressed so she didnt really want to try anything else either.

 

 

well she took one shot which lasted 3 months, during this time the doctors told her she had HPV. about 10/100 or 200 cant remember, can lead to cancer. and she had one of those 10. she also had cellchanges which doesnt mean you'll get cancer but it can progress if not treated. she was getting worried about this. i noticed the shot made her a little more cocky but it wasnt anything that bothered me. then she took another shot and she had some drinks one night, a fight with her stepdad who's got a bad temper. she started texting me and telling me i wasnt there for her when she needed me. i called her up and she apologized.

 

 

i went there and i got a little bit late because i couldnt take off from work. she got upset by this and not saying i believe that birth control is the only reason but she's been having a period every week and her temper has definitely changed. now 6 months later she's still suffering from this.

 

well at her country i stayed 3 months and i guess it was a little different. she was sweet but she had a temper some days and she started to feel that she was discusted by herself because of everything that happened to her. now she started to get cramps too caused by the shot i suppose. this has also been going on forever. she also has thyriod, which she takes medicin for. not sure how it affects her now but during childhood she had a huge depression because of this. so a lot of hormonal changes going on.

 

 

she moved to another country to finnish her studies. she couldnt study in my country because there wasnt any school for this here. school has been really stressfull and i didnt feel good about this. she didnt take as much time for me. she was enjoying her new life. im not saying i was wrong about everything but i know she felt like i was changing and wanted more out of her then she could give. i overreacted to small things and got insecure about her as a person.

 

 

 

the breakup.. we've talked about this before and she brought it up ceveral times. that to stay together marriage might be the only way. the conversation was fine. she was really sweet and said, we'll figure something out when time comes. the next day i brought it up again because she had to sleep and i felt i deserved some kind of answers about our future. she got extremly cold and i noticed something was wrong. i called her up and she cried. she told me we werent broken up. so waiting 7 hours to talk on skype the conversation went like this..

 

her. maybe i need some time to figure out what i want to do with my life. her carrier that is

me. are we breaking up or not?

her. maybe i need some time alone to think.

me. well if you cant give me an answer i will have to break up with you.

her. are you serious?

me. well are we on a break or a breakup?

her. isnt that the same thing?

me. is this a breakup?

her. i dont know

me. yes or no?

her. i guess so.

 

 

i told her good bye and after a few days i called her telling her to come for christmas. she said ill think about it. hearing from people that i know she was talking about a trip with her brother instead. i texted her and during this whole conversation she said she needed time alone. its only been two weeks. i explained that im letting her go. she never said it was over. she constantly replied she needed time. i told her again and she said. what exactly does that mean?

 

im letting you go now , i love you and want you to be happy with or without me. i cant change anything by talking to you. she waited 15 minutes and replied i understand but i still feel that youre pressuring me to give an answer right away. i didnt reply and she was up really late waiting for me to reply. she's now suffering from sleeping problems and for the first time she didnt go with her new friends last saturday. its like she broke up with me, cant let go, yet doesnt want to talk.

 

 

everyone tells me she loves me. she told me that too. she told me that it doesnt have to be forever she just need some time. of course im not gonna sit her and wait but im confused. she's confused. sorry for this long post. i dont expect anyone to figure her out. but an opinion would be nice. i love her a lot and i do hope she will come to her senses.

Edited November 24, 2014 by chados

[preraph]

All I can say is that someone needs to convince her to have a thorough physical workup to peg anything out of whack and a complete hormone panel so they even know how much hormones she needs. Once everything there has been dealt with, if she still is erratic, then it's time to be sure she hasn't developed some mental illness or one has resurfaced. So get her to get a thorough physical and blood tests and hormone panel. Go from there.

[chados]

All I can say is that someone needs to convince her to have a thorough physical workup to peg anything out of whack and a complete hormone panel so they even know how much hormones she needs. Once everything there has been dealt with, if she still is erratic, then it's time to be sure she hasn't developed some mental illness or one has resurfaced. So get her to get a thorough physical and blood tests and hormone panel. Go from there.

 

 

 

yeah its hard to fix when someone doesnt believe it .. thanks for answer though