Jsbodhi Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 My boyfriend broke up with me the other day because I was really verbally mean when drinking. I didn't ask for my things back because I didn't want to bother him when he said he didn't want to talk to me, I was just going to let him throw them out or do whatever he wanted with them. I've been no contact since. Anyway, I went outside and he left my stuff on my front step, not sure if he rang the doorbell because it's hard to hear in my house. But he didn't text to say he was coming, so I'm going to assume he just left them. Along with my items, he left a gift i made for him the day before we broke up. Anyway, my questions are: Do you think he was hoping I'll contact him by leaving my things that I didn't ask for? He won't call or text me out of pride, I know it, Or was he just leaving them to leave them? Do you think he was making a statement by leaving the gift I made him, including a love letter a wrote him? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 He isn't looking for contact, he was just returning your things without any interaction. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Looks like he made the assumption that you would want your things back, as we usually do, so to prevent from having to deal with you......he beat you to the punch before you could ask. I think his message is pretty clear in that he wants you to leave him alone. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Do you think he was making a statement by leaving the gift I made him, including a love letter a wrote him? I did the same thing with my ex. He dumped me and I gave him back all his crap gifts that's were made and every card/love note he wrote me. My statement was: I want nothing to do with you ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jsbodhi Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 Well a girl could hope! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jsbodhi Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 Not sure why he'd think I'd want them, it was 2 sweaters and a book. And as for the gift, he loved it. I made him a box filled with interesting things that he likes and wrote a love letter. It just seems weird to return gifts that someone has made for you. I'd just throw them away, but people are different. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Not sure why he'd think I'd want them, it was 2 sweaters and a book. And as for the gift, he loved it. I made him a box filled with interesting things that he likes and wrote a love letter. It just seems weird to return gifts that someone has made for you. I'd just throw them away, but people are different. Honestly when I gave everything back I wasn't thinking about "oh I should toss this, return that, save this..." Everything that was his, from "us" or had anything to do with him whatsoever was just hurriedly thrown in a huge black trash bag and then dumped at his doorstep. I didn't want anything of his in my space, I didn't want one piece of anything lingering to remind me of him. It just needed to be gone. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I've got a few things of my ex's. I'll be dropping them off when I'm certain she's not there. No hidden agenda. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Not sure why he'd think I'd want them, it was 2 sweaters and a book. And as for the gift, he loved it. I made him a box filled with interesting things that he likes and wrote a love letter. It just seems weird to return gifts that someone has made for you. I'd just throw them away, but people are different. I did that with an ex. I just dumped mementos, hand made cards, letters, in a box along with his clothes, shoes, ipod, etc...I didn't want anything reminding me of him in my apartment nor did I want to deal with it so I threw it all in there without going through it. Then I dumped it in his garage. He's not sitting there wondering what you want and don't want. Just his need to cut ties. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 (edited) Not sure why he'd think I'd want them, it was 2 sweaters and a book. And as for the gift, he loved it. I made him a box filled with interesting things that he likes and wrote a love letter. It just seems weird to return gifts that someone has made for you. I'd just throw them away, but people are different. I did the same thing. I put all the cards, notes, and any gift he bought me, into a box, and I gave it to him. I didn't want anything remotely related to him sitting around to remind me. I was basically attempting to erase him from my life. I guess he felt the same because he gave all my stuff back and mailed some stuff 6 months later. I'm sure it was because he wanted no interaction with me either. Most people do not want stuff from an ex sitting around to remind them because the memories are either bad or bittersweet. You don't have happy memories at this point. Edited November 24, 2014 by BC1980 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jsbodhi Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 Ok ok! So he texted to ask if I got my stuff, I said yes, thank you, I appreciate you doing that, he said you're welcome. Now what? Leave him alone or try to have a conversation? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jsbodhi Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 He initiated the contact with me. Does this change anything or am I being pathetic again? Haha Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jsbodhi Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 I think he did drop the stuff off because I did no contact with him, when I think he kinda wanted me to beg. He's too proud to call after I was the bad one, so I think he left the stuff hoping I'd text him or something, I never asked for the stuff. He didn't want to break up with me, he's deeply in love with me, he did it on principle more than anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jsbodhi Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 Ok, so I texted him back and said I got a job as blackjack dealer at night, I told him to stop by and play a hand sometime if he ever feels like it. That's ok right? Not begging or talking about the relationship, just leaving the option open that he can stop by for a friendly hand at blackjack sometime. Gives us a neutral ground. What does everyone think? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jsbodhi Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 Ok, he wants to come over:eek: I'll keep you guys posted. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 he wants to have sex with you...booty call Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jsbodhi Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 And sex he shall get Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jsbodhi Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 Update. He came over, talked it out. He as the dumper was having a way harder time than me as dumpee. I kinda grilled him about things ( can't help it, sociology major) Leaving the gift I made him was a statement. He wanted to hurt me because he was hurting. No contact totally worked, he said he wasn't sure if I would text or call after he left the stuff, he said he didn't know if I would continue with the "silent treatment".... Even though he told me it was over, stop calling, so I did.... I think maybe he thought I would beg harder, and I would've if I hadn't found this site, phew! Anyway, all is well and I just need to shape up a bit, and stay off the drink so I don't treat him in ways he totally doesn't deserve. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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