love2ride Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 So I have to see my ex tonight and already i'm a mess. Stomach is in knots and work sucks. I took an divan so i'm a little better. I haven't seen my ex and her two kids since Halloween. I have a thread here about the entire situation: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/502389-new-here-looking-support-i-guess Anyways i'm a tattoo artist and after two months of being broken up I gave into her texts and met her. I agreed to tattoo her hand as I thought being nice would win her back. The tattoo didn't heal to well because its on the hand and now she wants me to fix it. She only wanted to be friends thats it so I told her i couldn't see her then had a meltdown over the weeks since and tried writing so many emails to her about getting back together. She wants none of it. I'm pretty sure she is seeing someone because I asked her if she was and she just tells me, "My personal life is none of your business." I told her I would pay her to get it done at another shop and she said no she wants me to do it. She told me she would give me money. I told her it wasn't about the money its hard to see her. I feel sick. She said its hard for her to. I said bull**** u don't care ur seeing someone. Then she comes back see always slamming me thats why we are broken up. Then I start apologizing. Its B.S. she's brainwashed herself. I don't slam her. So ya because i'm a good guy and man of my word i'm going over there tonight and fix her tattoo. Take some divan and I guess not let it bother me. How do I act? Do I let her see emotion? Do I break down and hug her? Do I just be nice and super fun? Like ****. She said after today she will never bother me again. Thats good and bad. Means its over over over and I should give up hope but then I guess NC and move on right? Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Please heed this advice: - Do NOT tattoo her. You don't have to. Giving in to her saying she wants you to do it is so f***ing weak, dude. - Stay away from her and tell her to stay away from you. DO NOT TATTOO HER! You don't have to see her, you're letting her visit you so she can what... twist the knife a little more? Link to post Share on other sites
Author love2ride Posted November 20, 2014 Author Share Posted November 20, 2014 I feel bad having her go around with a crappy tattoo i did. Its kinda my responsibility i guess. Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 NO IT ABSOLUTELY IS NOT!!! What's wrong with you? You need to change your thinking. Again: DO NOT GIVE HER A TATTOO Or, don't listen and continue to get used, hurt, and manipulated. By telling her you won't do it, you'll at least be speaking from a position of power instead of giving into her like a big, sloppy vajayjay. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Since when are you obligated to do anything for her??? Sorry man but it's on you if you put yourself through this. You can't really complain about something your willfully participating in. Link to post Share on other sites
Lostdreams Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Please don't do it ........... you owe her absolutely nothing Any don't you ever let her think that she can dictate your actions again Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 I'm with everyone else, DO NOT DO IT! now that being said, I sense that you are still going to do it. Why? Because we all have to learn the hard way. I did. If you ended up taking the advice and stay, then you have started the process of getting over. If you go, you will probably do something you will end up regretting and it will set you way back. That's what I get from your post. You will be back on here updating us on what happened and it will not be good. It can't. nothing good will come of it. Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 Cancel on her. Tell her you're sorry but she is has to get it done by someone else. Hell, if you really want to make a point, your girlfriend came in and you're busy doing a tattoo for her instead. Just don't do it man. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author love2ride Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 (edited) Well i did it. It wasn't so bad. We talked bait about it. Then I asked if we could get back together somehow, take it slow. we talked some more she came to the conclusion that we are soul mates but not a good fit. I'm not good for her mental health. She feels stressed with me. I begged broke down and told her thats it don't contact me again. Gave her the xmas gifts i got for her kids and she left. Now NC and I move on. Oh ya I asked if we could go on a couple dates to see how they went and she said you don't understand my feelings. When i'm with you I want to be with you , like "with you". in a relationship. Like wtf man thats bad>? Edited November 21, 2014 by love2ride Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Well i did it. It wasn't so bad. We talked bait about it. Then I asked if we could get back together somehow, take it slow. we talked some more she came to the conclusion that we are soul mates but not a good fit. I'm not good for her mental health. She feels stressed with me. I begged broke down and told her thats it don't contact me again. Gave her the xmas gifts i got for her kids and she left. Now NC and I move on. Oh ya I asked if we could go on a couple dates to see how they went and she said you don't understand my feelings. When i'm with you I want to be with you , like "with you". in a relationship. Like wtf man thats bad>? Its already over man. You would have had a chance if you didnt pull what you did tonight. She already has lost respect and pretty much telling you to move on. If she is pretty much telling you that, then there is nothing you can do anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Agreed.. I'd have paid someone else to do it. I understand that an artist doesn't want someone else working on his stuff but, self preservation. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 I can understand why you wanted to repair the tattoo. That's professional pride and responsibility. I would have done the same. But now it's done. You really need to do no contact now, and try to heal. Maybe someday she will come back. But if she does, it will only be after you have given her space, and moved on. Start no contact now! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author love2ride Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 Thanks for understanding. It was out of respect for myself fixing the tattoo. I'm a good person and I was doing what I thought was right. Yes NC now and time to heal. I know the pain thats coming. Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Ugh man, I have to point out a couple of things you did here has a mistake that pushed her away forever. - You saw her and did her tattoo - should have canceled as you are clearly not ready to see her. You hurt yourself for her benefit. With that said, I understand you did this to be professional about your work. - You talked about the past. Shouldve just did the tattoo and acted like she was any other customer. - Begged for her back and broke down: All you did here was give her a HUGE ego boost (which is why she went to you) and make her lose all interest in you completely. - After this interaction with her, its over forever. There is no chance that she is coming back. Her "feelings" is all she cares about now...nor yours. - She may contact you a few more times once you go NC. My suggestion is block this girl as she is TOXIC for you. I'm pointing these things out not to hurt you or make you feel bad, but to help you improve yourself. This is going to be tough for you but all you can do is start back at day 1 now. Link to post Share on other sites
RedButton Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Look at the positive side, maybe this was the kick you needed to realise that things aren't going to work between the two of you? I don't want to say you should or shouldn't have done it, I can respect your pride in your work. I do think you should try to look at this as 'Well that didn't go well, she's not interested, time to move on'. I know it's easier to say than experience, but you'll be okay. As hard as it is, you now don't have any confliction and excuses to see her again, it should be easier to maintain some time apart and focus on getting better! Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 (edited) Thanks for understanding. It was out of respect for myself fixing the tattoo. I'm a good person and I was doing what I thought was right. Yes NC now and time to heal. I know the pain thats coming. Yes, we have to learn the hard way sometimes. I'm not sure you have learned or feel it's over yet. You are still confused in your mind by what she said and how YOU interpreted it. If you can tell yourself that YOU did not do it out of respect for yourself because you are a good person, then you are on your way. You got together to do the tattoo for one reason only and that was because it was a chance to see her again and then do the begging that you did. That is not respect for yourself. You really need to understand what you just did. If you did not bring up getting back together and just fixed the tattoo and that was it, then ok. You are in the denial stage right now. It's part of the process, but you really need to stay away from her because it is very obvious that she is done with you. Now you have no choice but to go NC and it's not to make her comeback but for you to get over her and move on because there really is no hope here at all. Edited November 21, 2014 by dumbass2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author love2ride Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 Sorry but you are wrong. I did not want to see her and told her this. I even offered to transfer the money to her to get it done somewhere else. Most artist will not work on other artists work and so I did not want her to have to walk around with a bad looking tattoo. I'm not an *******. We don't hate each other we just didn't work out. I'm not in denial thanks, I know that I have to go NC to heal myself and move on. I'm not holding on to hope if she comes back. And it wasn't exactly begging it was more like I was giving her reasons during our talk. She was on the fence. Anyways this forum is great but too many people think they no the situation when they really don't. Not every situation or outcome is the same. I fixed the tattoo out of respect for the both of us. I even tried to cancel again before she showed up the last time by offering her money. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author love2ride Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 SO I get the following email from her this morning, "I know we're never speaking again but wanted to tell you the coverup looks amazing thank you thank you thank you." Seriously **** off bitch. Rub it in you bitch. I deleted it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Invictus01 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 SO I get the following email from her this morning, "I know we're never speaking again but wanted to tell you the coverup looks amazing thank you thank you thank you." Seriously **** off bitch. Rub it in you bitch. I deleted it That is harsh... It reads like "blah blah blah I used you I used you I used you" Sorry dude. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author love2ride Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 Yup it is but you know what i took the high rode and didn't become a dick. I fixed my work and i'm glad i did. Doesn't matter who the client is, its my responsibility. I feel goad about myself and this morning I know we never have to speak, nothing I have to contact her about. I actually feel good. She is a mess emotionally and I should be happy to be out of it. Never look back. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 You do sound like a good guy. I am that way too and I like to take the high road. It seems like us "good" guys sometimes end up getting burned a little more through these break ups and we have to start really thinking about what is best for us and not care any more about what our ex may think or want. We have to force ourselves to just not give a shyt anymore and it's hard to do when it was someone you cared about. The best thing for you now is probably to ignore her, which sounds like where you are at. You get a sense of what she is like. You don't need that. You need someone that wants to be with you and appreciate you for who you are. At least you can say that you did try and that should be good enough for you. You've put yourself out there and that is all you can do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author love2ride Posted November 21, 2014 Author Share Posted November 21, 2014 Have way through the day I get a text instead of an email saying she loves the tattoo. Link to post Share on other sites
Invictus01 Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 Hope you ignored the text too... Link to post Share on other sites
Author love2ride Posted November 22, 2014 Author Share Posted November 22, 2014 yes i'm ignoring her now Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 yes i'm ignoring her now Good for you. Continue to ignore her and don't respond. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts