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WTF??!! Ex has met someone new


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Me and my ex broke up two months ago. It was the best and the worst time of my life. He messed up many times in the year we were together but I finally decided enough was enough.

We broke up two months ago but had been texting each other every now and then, just polite friendly stuff. I hadn't text him in over a week when he sent me a message saying he had me someone new, that he didn't have the heart to tell me. So why did he? I was doing fine so why would I need to know that?

Is he trying to hurt me? Replace me? Rub my face in it? Proving he has moved on?

I feel now that I never really knew the real him, I think he needs to always be in a relationship. I can't get over someone that quickly, I need time to heal on my own. I don't want him back but it's like a punch in the gut. I could actually picture his face when he wrote that message, like he was enjoying telling me.

Just awful why you want to hurt someone that you used to love.

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He is most likely trying to hurt you and get back at you. He was probably hurt when you ended it.

 

The dangers of staying in touch with an ex is somewhere down the line they want you to hurt as much as you have hurt them.

 

I'm sorry for your pain but embrace it, heal then meet someone better.

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I don't think he was trying to hurt you at all by telling you he has a GF. You two still had this unhealthy half-assed connection because neither of you was letting go, He now needs to sever that out of respect for his new relationship or because he now can (meaning he can finally let go of you once & for all because he has a new romance into which to channel his energy) He was giving you a heads up to explain his imminent disappearance from your life.

 

Yes, the result is you got hurt all over again but I don't seen any mean-spiritedness behind the disclosure.

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Harsh words D0nnivain, ;-) but words I defo need to hear. I think you are both correct because my ex could be the loveliest/meanest person at times.

It really is time to cut the cord and hopefully his new love can give him what I wasn't willing to, my whole heart just wasn't it. I need to love myself fully before I can truly love another and that's what I'm working on. Thank you both, your answers have helped alot.

Sometimes you just need to erase the messages, delete the numbers and move on. :-)

Plus I think i've been watching too many re-runs of How I met your Mother, lol, thinking that exes can be friends. Bonkers!

Edited by megsheaven
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Plus If I was his new girlfriend I wouldn't be too happy about the contact. That was partly why we broke up, his exes, he still kept in touch with 2 of them, in fact one of them called him on our first date. He was treated so badly by partners before me, they cheated on him, beat him, made him cut contact with friends so he was pretty broken by the time I met him but he couldn't stop contact with them, nuts! I should have seen the warning signs then.

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I didn't mean to be harsh. Sorry.

 

I'm glad you saw the wisdom in what I was trying to say.

 

Let him go because this occasional contact was keeping you from fully healing & moving forward. The fact that you can wish him well speaks to your own kindness.

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No don't feel bad, you were totally right. It's what I needed to hear really. I know i'll think of him now and then but if we did keep in touch, I wouldn't be able to handle hearing about his new love, so yes it's all for the best.

Thanks again for the advice, it's time to face reality. I broke up with him for many reasons so why cling to something now that isn't healthy for either of us?!

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