lovesucks132 Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 Not even sure where to start. We've going out for close to 4 months now and the spark just never lit for me. What was always eating me inside though is that she is perfect for me on paper. Cute, thoughtful, intelligent (PhD Student), well-spoken, multilingual/worldly, and amazing domestic skills (She loooves cooking for me). The list of positives for her are near endless. I kept on putting off a breakup because the positives list just kept growing and growing as I spent more time with her praying for some spark but it was just hard for me to muster up romantic feelings. I've previously been in two long term relationships and I know I'm normally a very passionate guy as in no issues with PDA and general closeness but it just never happened with her. She confronted me about it today in the car when I was dropping her off and I basically told her what I'd previously written. I told her it was unfair to her and that we really should probably end the relationship since even after all this time, my whole heart wasn't into it; she deserved better. She asked me what was wrong with her/what she did wrong and I literally couldn't come up with anything, not once did I feel wronged or slighted by her. After hours of talking about the concepts/ideals behind love and romance, waterworks, and discussion on literal brain chemistry of love (I told you she was smart), she basically offered to me the deal of wanting to take a break and that she would wait for me to come around. Paraphrasing her, the deal ends if I get 'serious' with dating another woman and she never wants to see me again. She did ask that we remain 'friends' during the break period and though we wouldn't see each other in person, she still wanted to text and such. 24 hours haven't even passed and it hurts. I miss being with her but I just feel like after so much time, can romantic feelings just pop up? Against my better judgement, I did text her. Really just small talk like how dinner was. I admit we chat a lot and it had sorta become a mainstay in my daily life. I don't know, I'm hurt, I know she's hurt, I'm just lost right now. Sorry if some of this doesn't make sense, was really stream of consciousness. Link to post Share on other sites
selena_cat Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 What is it that you really want? Is it to break up or space to figure things out,if its space she should give it to you-looks like she isn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 lovesucks123, Stop being selfish. If you truly aren't 100% committed to this girl then let her go. No "being friends", no texting, no hanging out (or whatever you call it over there)no giving her false expectations. Set her free to find some guy who is really into her and has amazing chemistry with her. If she's a smart as you say then she'll soon find someone. You know it's the right thing to do....... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 almost everyone has some doubts when they initiate a breakup. it sounds like just the normal second guessing. you make it pretty clear you don't have deep feelings for this girl, so do her a favour and don't waste her time on "breaks", set her free and let both of you move on with your lives. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliBabe Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 If you aren't feelin it and its not there for you, let her go. It happens sometimes, someone out there is a more suitable match for you. Learn from her and move on to someone you are crazy about. Link to post Share on other sites
Mi7522 Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Hopefully you don't regret your decision. If the feelings aren't there then you have nothing to worry about Link to post Share on other sites
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