ConfusedHere1 Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 I've been in denial so long.... He just left. I asked him what we were. He didn't want to commit to me and he said we would end up breaking up in the future anyway because he doesn't do long term, but he wanted us to do the slow fade. I said I could not do that. I've already been through hell and back living in this gray area where we were no longer defined by our relationship status and we both cried and now our respective weekends are ruined. He was meant to stay with me this weekend and we'd go to our mutual friends' Halloween party tomorrow night, but now neither of us is going. He said he hopes we can talk again as friends because I'm "the best girlfriend he's ever had" and I don't give myself enough credit and he doesn't want me gone from his life. We'll see. I have a long road ahead of me to be ok..... Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 Wow, did he have this grand idea to not be long term originally or decide to make that decision later? I guess you learned the hard way, that love can't change a person. By the time he does change you'll be long gone, and he'll be kicking his arse for it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 ConfusedHere1, I am sorry you are having a tough time of it. I asked him what we were. He didn't want to commit to me and he said we would end up breaking up in the future anyway because he doesn't do long term, but he wanted us to do the slow fade. This is just selfish and mean. ^^^^ Translation - "I want to keep you on board until I find something better and then I will move on fully." Do not, repeat, do not allow him to string you along like this. I've already been through hell and back living in this gray area So stop hurting yourself by allowing him to use you. hopes we can talk again as friends NO ! and he doesn't want me gone from his life. No, I'll bet he doesn't, he wants to have his cake and eat it - don't allow it. He has already told you that ; he doesn't do long term, You main concern needs to be you at this point. Block him, go NC, move on without him. You need to grieve and start your healing so that you can be ready, in the future, for a man who values you enough to do "long term". Don't be his buffer against loneliness, that's not your role. He had his chance with you and he didn't want it ( in fact reading his responses, I'm not too sure what he does want, but it's not you) If he really "wanted you in his life" he wouldn't be breaking up with you. Stay strong and good luck.x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedHere1 Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 @sdrawkcaB ssA, I think he started to freak out when I proposed moving closer to where he just moved for his new job. I thought things were going well, and his doubts threw me for a loop. But I decided I wasn't going to continue allowing him to string me along like this. Just a matter of getting through one day at a time, I suppose.... :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedHere1 Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 @ Arieswoman, fellow Aries here. Thank you for your reply. You are absolutely right. I needed to break it off and it's not easy, but it is much better than the alternative. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 @sdrawkcaB ssA, I think he started to freak out when I proposed moving closer to where he just moved for his new job. I thought things were going well, and his doubts threw me for a loop. But I decided I wasn't going to continue allowing him to string me along like this. Just a matter of getting through one day at a time, I suppose.... :/ Well it is better to find out sooner with how you want things to go, than to be played out by his unsure ways. You sound strong enough to move on beyond it, as there was no trust broken, just expectations. Nothing you did was wrong, just a bit hard this time of year. Next time I am sure you'll be one to keep understandings on an even keel. My SM and I reevaluate every time we make a new plateau. The more we question when we feel an issue arise the better we feel. Like we want an issue to pop up... what will we do, its been months on end and no questions. Hehehehe! Perhaps you can look down the list of new posts, for icecream... it is never too cold for icecream. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedHere1 Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 @ sdrawkcaB ssA, I'll pick up a couple pints of Ben and Jerry's when I get my appetite back. Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 @ sdrawkcaB ssA, I'll pick up a couple pints of Ben and Jerry's when I get my appetite back. Yep! I recommend cinnamon bun swirl if you can find it, then there is core, karmel sutra. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
walkingonair Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 I've been in denial so long.... He just left. I asked him what we were. He didn't want to commit to me and he said we would end up breaking up in the future anyway because he doesn't do long term, but he wanted us to do the slow fade. I said I could not do that. I've already been through hell and back living in this gray area where we were no longer defined by our relationship status and we both cried and now our respective weekends are ruined. He was meant to stay with me this weekend and we'd go to our mutual friends' Halloween party tomorrow night, but now neither of us is going. He said he hopes we can talk again as friends because I'm "the best girlfriend he's ever had" and I don't give myself enough credit and he doesn't want me gone from his life. We'll see. I have a long road ahead of me to be ok..... This is his issue and has nothing to do with you.I'm going through the same thing now,if you want to talk PM me :)or do you have gchat? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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