I'm about to die.

[Stuartlydia24]

Okay this is long but it would be really appreciated for an outsiders input into my current situation.

 

Me and my ex girlfriend were together for 2 years, in that time (well basically when we first met) after a few dates she lied about being on birth control (she told me she always wanted a baby) so after a few months of a whirlwind romance we found out she was pregnant, we had the child and everything was great! Now the fun begins!

 

Just before when we first met she went on a girls holiday and fell for someone else and when we were together even met him and said she had feelings for him.. But she stopped anyway speaking to him and chose me. Now she is bipolar and has her good and bad days.. She basically broke up with me about 10 times we were together saying she wasn't happy etc but we always rekindled.

 

Now 2 weeks ago she breaks up with me out the blue.. When the day before she was at my house with the baby.. To be honest she seemed abit distant then. So the day later she ends us and says she doesn't know but she isn't happy and it isn't exciting anymore.. She's 19 btw and I'm 24.. Cut long story short we went no contact after I begged and begged after she removed any trace of us off social media etc

 

So I ask is there someone else? She says no.. A week down the line she says yes.. But she does still love me.. Now this guy who she won't tell me who he is is 19 the same age and is what she said.. Half decent :/ he's banned from driving too and she said he lives down my street!? She told me this yesterday.. While she was on the phone to me.. For 40 minutes!? Oh and she met me today for 10 minutes to let me see the baby.. I just don't know what to do.. I went out tonight and saw her car parked at her new mans house.. Please help I'm so lost!

[Stuartlydia24]

Anybody?

[deathandtaxes]

Is she being treated for her mental illness? This thing will run her life for her if not. And why do you want to be with this lady? Are you sure the kid is your's? Even if the kid is, this is not a person you should want to be in a relationship with, nevermind let raise YOUR kid.

[Early Bird]

Hey, friend.

 

First, let me begin just by saying that you're not alone in how you're feeling now. I'm sure all of us have felt that feeling of "I'm about to die". Right after mine, I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't focus on anything, and was stressed and emotional to the absolute max. And the pain of seeing the cars parked together at the house? Yeah, I went through that.

 

With that being said, you ARE going to make it through this no matter how hopeless things may seem at the moment. YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH AND COME OUT A STRONGER AND HAPPIER INDIVIDUAL BECAUSE OF IT. Did that sink in, dude? I certainly hope it did. Keep that thought in the back of your mind. Let yourself grieve and listen to your body. If you're angry, shout and cuss. If you're sad, let yourself cry. Allow yourself to experience those emotions and not hold back. It'll help you so much.

 

Now onto the situation. She's broken up with you about 10 times now? My friend, that's causing you an enormous amount of turmoil in your life that you don't need. First, think of your child's sake. No child should have to grow up in a situation where the mother and father are together and then split over and over. That causes so much confusion. Next, think of your sake. What is this doing to you emotionally and mentally? Everyone deserves someone who cares and loves them without constantly running away.

 

I'm sure in your state right now you might try to rationalize why she's acting this way. Don't. It's not fair for you to be left that many times and then again due to someone else. You deserve better.

 

I've never been in a situation myself where a child is involved, so I know the usual No Contact might be a bit more complicated for you. But I'd say the best thing to do now is focus on you and your child, stay around friends, and keep yourself busy.

[d0nnivain]

You don't get to go NC. You have a child to think about.

 

Forget about her. Talk to a lawyer. Find out what your rights & responsibilities are concerning your kid. I would also insist on a DNA test.

[evanescentworld]

And could I just add that your thread title is really dreadful.

 

You may FEEL devastated, but we have had a high number of near-suicides on this forum, and quite frankly, that kind of sensationalist headline, scares the wits out of me.

Then I read your post, and I'm sorry to say, I felt like slapping you.

 

Not that I ever would. I can't bring myself to hit a tennis ball, let alone smack anyone across the face.

It angered me though.

 

It is a headline in very poor taste.

 

And read this, with regard to her mental state and yours. It might help, and certainly explains a lot.

[Zzyxx]

She is mentally ill, and I'm not bagging on people with mental illness, I am aware that it is something that cannot be helped but only treated, I'm just saying that having also dated people with certain personality disorders, you can't even begin to go down the "what is she thinking/feeling/doing route." That and she is just waaaaay too young to be having a baby and all the other stuff going on. I know that it is going to hurt an insane amount. Break up's always do, and I second other posters that mentioned we all feel like we're going to die, because most of us do, but right now you need to just worry about yourself and your child (if like others said, it is yours, or even if it's not biologically yours, if you want to stay in its life). See a lawyer about custody, and try to be there for it, as it's mother sounds troubled. Maybe seek some counseling for your situation so you have someone to support you as well? It's always tougher when children and mental issues are involved. I feel for you.

[Zahara]

I feel so sad for this child.