Jump to content

Ugghh I broke No Contact


Recommended Posts

We got together through a mutual friend and everything was going well, she introduced me to her friends, family and kids. The last two weeks we spent every night together and but I'm sure I was too accommodating. It's been almost 5 weeks lc, a little here and there but nothing substantial. I'm moving on but really would like something back from her that she knows I want but having a difficult time figuring out how to go about getting it back. Btw she knows what I'm looking for but has made no attempt at getting back to me. Any ideas how to go about this so I can cut ties?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

You're missing the point, I would like to have it back and don't want her to think I'm contacting other than to get it back. Just trying to figure out a way to get what's mine

Link to post
Share on other sites
SoThatHappened

Just contact her telling her you want it back.

 

Simple as that.

 

Who cares what it may look like to her. She has something of yours.

 

It doesn't sound like it was a serious relationship, nor does it sound like it was a bad breakup (I could be wrong).

 

Just ask for it back, even find a way where you don't have to physically see each other to get it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I was doing great for the last 5 weeks and last night I sent her a Happy Birthday text. I guess I just wanted to let her know I was thinking of her. I think I messed up ugghhh.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Never mind eh. There's no gold medals for NC duration. Apart from feeling bad, there is no consequences for breaking NC. You don't even get a 1 month abstinence chip. Just remember next time you're thinking of breaking it, how it made you feel this time...

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
Never mind eh. There's no gold medals for NC duration. Apart from feeling bad, there is no consequences for breaking NC. You don't even get a 1 month abstinence chip. Just remember next time you're thinking of breaking it, how it made you feel this time...

 

This, a thousand times,this :) I've broken NC a few times, just snap out of it and say to yourself "OK the REAL no contact starts now" and mean it this time!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Dude, you aren't the first to break NC and you won't be the last. We don't throw anyone in LS jail if they break NC. It was a birthday text. Nothing more and nothing less. Chances are she's going to ignore it. Just go about your day and try to forget about it.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
SoThatHappened

If you have to define it, just call it ELC (extremely low contact) prior to starting NC.

 

It doesn't matter. Most of us slip up, even when in NC and even when we KNOW not to do it.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

It's okay. Most people do break it, but you learn the hard way. You won't do it again. I broke it at 3 months, and I ended up crying to my ex on the phone. I'm cringing just thinking about it, so at least you only sent a happy bday text. It could have been a lot worse.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Unfortunately I will have to break it again as she has something valuable of mine that she knows I want back but has not made any attempt to get it to me.

Link to post
Share on other sites
SoThatHappened

Any way a friend or a neutral party can get that back from her? If so, tell her that so-and-so will be coming over to her place on Saturday at 2:00 to get it if that works.

 

Or just tell her to mail it if it can be mailed.

 

THEN... NC

 

My ex kept a book of my Dad's and family home movies of mine. She could have easily mailed them, but instead used them as a way to contact me and said she would drop them off at my doorstep. I told her to throw all of it away. Seeing her would have hurt, and I was cutting out every connection I possibly could.

 

I'm better off for avoiding her altogether, and you will be too.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

It can't be mailed and I don't really want our mutual friends to get involved ( not fair to them) so I was just thinking of saying that I would drop by tomorrow during my lunch when no one is at her house and have her leave it her she'd. Good idea or no?

Link to post
Share on other sites
SoThatHappened

That works. You won't have to see each other, and you won't be able to say or do anything you can regret down the road.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, I definitely would get is back ASAP, so you can move on. Otherwise, it's a way to hang on. Definitely arrange it where you don't have to see her.

Link to post
Share on other sites
We got together through a mutual friend and everything was going well, she introduced me to her friends, family and kids. The last two weeks we spent every night together and but I'm sure I was too accommodating. It's been almost 5 weeks lc, a little here and there but nothing substantial. I'm moving on but really would like something back from her that she knows I want but having a difficult time figuring out how to go about getting it back. Btw she knows what I'm looking for but has made no attempt at getting back to me. Any ideas how to go about this so I can cut ties?

lots of masturbation

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...