johndail Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 My girlfriend and I had a fight a couple of months ago and ever since then its been really distant between the two of us. The fight that took place I really don't remember because there was alcohol involved but I know it pissed her off. We talked through text a week later and she told me she needed time and space from me. So I gave her that. Then I end up seeing out at the bar and she really didn't say much to me and then invites me and a mutual friend over to a house to hang out. Upon arrival I get bombarded by a friend of hers for yelling at her and I just end up saying I'm going to leave and my gf doesn't want me to and wants to talk about the fight. But again we have been drinking so I told her no and we could it later sober. A couple weeks after that I see if she wants to meet up and she never replied back. So I left it alone. She ended up texting me a few days after that to wish me a happy birthday and say that my running boards for my truck I guess are on backorder as a joke cause I told her that's what she needs to get me for my bday. I told her thank you and I appreciate the text. I then asked her last Sunday if she wanted to go out to eat and she said she would but that she was out of town. But she cancelled the dinner because she said that her nice got home late from her dads and so she wasn't going to be back til late and that she would have to take a rain check. She said she was sorry. I told her that it was good not a problem and Good night. I never got a response. I have tries to talk to her about things just to figure out this situation but she won't talk. I just don't know what to do or if I'm just wasting my time. Need some advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Go no contact Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 What kind of arguments have you had before OP? Did you resolve them in the past or did they keep hanging over your head? Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 My girlfriend and I had a fight a couple of months ago and ever since then its been really distant between the two of us. The fight that took place I really don't remember because there was alcohol involved but I know it pissed her off. We talked through text a week later and she told me she needed time and space from me. So I gave her that. Then I end up seeing out at the bar and she really didn't say much to me and then invites me and a mutual friend over to a house to hang out. Upon arrival I get bombarded by a friend of hers for yelling at her and I just end up saying I'm going to leave and my gf doesn't want me to and wants to talk about the fight. But again we have been drinking so I told her no and we could it later sober. A couple weeks after that I see if she wants to meet up and she never replied back. So I left it alone. She ended up texting me a few days after that to wish me a happy birthday and say that my running boards for my truck I guess are on backorder as a joke cause I told her that's what she needs to get me for my bday. I told her thank you and I appreciate the text. I then asked her last Sunday if she wanted to go out to eat and she said she would but that she was out of town. But she cancelled the dinner because she said that her nice got home late from her dads and so she wasn't going to be back til late and that she would have to take a rain check. She said she was sorry. I told her that it was good not a problem and Good night. I never got a response. I have tries to talk to her about things just to figure out this situation but she won't talk. I just don't know what to do or if I'm just wasting my time. Need some advice. Seems like you are leaving it an awful long time to establish contact. She wanted to talk after you saw her at the bar, but you said no, then waited 2 weeks to get in contact with her?? I'd be pissed also. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 No contact...... too much time has passed. There's nothing to fix. Link to post Share on other sites
AieshaR Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I think just send her one last message and let her know that you're going to wait a few more weeks till she contacts you. After that just go NC. IF a couple more months pass then I think you need to make the harsh decision and leave. You shouldn't be with someone who holds crazy grudges. Life is too short. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I think just send her one last message and let her know that you're going to wait a few more weeks till she contacts you. After that just go NC. IF a couple more months pass then I think you need to make the harsh decision and leave. You shouldn't be with someone who holds crazy grudges. Life is too short. You're right, life's too short, so why do you advise the op to wait a couple of months? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndail Posted October 21, 2014 Author Share Posted October 21, 2014 We haven't had any. This was the first one and she just completely shut me out Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndail Posted October 21, 2014 Author Share Posted October 21, 2014 It was a week after we had our fight I tried to talk to her about it and that's when I have been trying to since to talk about it Link to post Share on other sites
Standard-Fare Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 It sounds like a mistake to even keep calling/considering her your "girlfriend." Essentially, she's an ex at this point. Maybe you two didn't have a clear-cut breakup, but you haven't been a couple for over two months. I agree that if you want to be with her, you should make one more attempt at contact. But don't just treat it like "Hey, what's up?" and ignore the fact that you've been strangers for two months. Tell her you need clarity on your situation, and that you aren't happy with the way things have been left. Tell her you think this is worth a real conversation in person. If she can't do that for you, then you need to let it be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OK_computer Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 I think just send her one last message and let her know that you're going to wait a few more weeks till she contacts you. After that just go NC. IF a couple more months pass then I think you need to make the harsh decision and leave. You shouldn't be with someone who holds crazy grudges. Life is too short. That's the problem right there! Dude why are you waiting so long between you attempts? Weeks, they're not exactly drops in a bucket, weeks are a LOOONG time to resolve things with a girlfriend. Over the accumulation of such weeks, you're girlfriend's going to lose interest in your RS and think that you don't really care about her. You should've made a better effort to resolve things like the SECOND you got sober the next day, instead you decided to wait for WEEKS to contact? Go No contact and pray she's still interested, I wouldn't be if I was her. And what did you fight with her about in the first place exactly? You must've been a read D&%K to her in what you said. Fix it or go NC. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Two months? Sorry, but this isn't your girlfriend. There was a falling out, she didn't want to see you anymore, it's now been two months and she refuses to speak to you. I'm sorry to say but she's been your ex for quite a while. In her mind, this is what she's thinking: "Why the hell won't this guy take a hint already?!" Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Excuse me but, what makes you think that girl is still your girlfriend? It's like people saying they're married to the one they married in kindergarden games. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 We haven't had any. This was the first one and she just completely shut me out Then it means she can't deal with conflict. I agree with the others, you should move on. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 She's probably thinking the exact way you are. That you aren't making enough effort to get back together. Call her again and make a date to talk. Set a time and place. Good luck. Also, you guys need to ease up on the alcohol. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 IMO, if this much time passed between me and a boyfriend talking, I would assume he wasn't a boyfriend anymore. Nothing to do but move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 My girlfriend and I had a fight a couple of months ago and ever since then its been really distant between the two of us. The fight that took place I really don't remember because there was alcohol involved but I know it pissed her off. We talked through text a week later and she told me she needed time and space from me. That's why you're not her boyfriend anymore. To you, that meant that she needed time and space to cool off. To her, that meant she just dumped you. Think about all the times that you two have communicated since the argument. Besides, your birthday, what other time did she start contact with you first? That should be telling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndail Posted October 23, 2014 Author Share Posted October 23, 2014 She finally replied to me after apologizing for everything. After looking back at it all it hasn't been two months its only been a month. That was a typo by me.I told her in the text that I want to move forward from this with you but if you don't I understand and it is a tough pill to swallow. But she never told me if we were done. She just said she doesn't know what she should say or what I'm wanting her to say. We talked about everything that went on that night as well. I sent her a message after her response asking her that my main question is if you have any interest in being together or dating anymore? But she never responded to it. I don't know if I'm just missing the hint or what. Just leave it alone from here and if she never reaponds then I have my answer. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I don't quite get the lag time between texts/communicating?? It seems to me that a lot of miscommunication is going on because of no communication or very little at best. If I were in your shoes I would march my arse right down to her place and find out wtf is going on. Then ask her point blank if you two are a couple, the answer shouldn't be overly complex, just a simple yes or no. Link to post Share on other sites
ThorntonMelon Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Too much texting. Not enough speaking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndail Posted October 24, 2014 Author Share Posted October 24, 2014 Me and my girlfriend had a big arguement. Long story short the day we finally talked about things via text she told me that it just was me and that she didn't know what to say or what she wanted me to say. Well told her that I wanted to move forward from this with her and hopefully she still has interest in being with me and dating but I never got a response back. That was two days ago and haven't heard anything from her. My.precious post you can see the situation but to me she seems like she is just avoiding telling me she is done but i have never been that person to not tell someone thatim done. What do I do. Leave it alone and if I never hear from her again then I will no??? Link to post Share on other sites
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