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anxious and worrying. ?


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Hey Guys,

 

Been a while since I've posted but thought I'd put an update on because I could really do with your help....

 

Been NC now for 3 months and doing much much better since the BU. I still have the dark days and am carrying on trying to work on my issues.

 

Tomorrow I have a staff conference and I am going to run in to my ex for the first time in 6 months. I find myself extrmely anxious today and I am worrying even thinking about it. It is inevitable I will see her. unless she suddenly becomes really ill which is unlikely.

 

I just want some advice on how to approach the situation and how to control myself from making contact with her. I don't really even want to see her to be honest because I will get that sinking feeling in my stomach.

 

Can you please advise me on a whole aswell as any little tips to maintain my happiness during the day.

 

Thanks. FL

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Friendzone everything .... trust me act like friends and nothing more i know everyone gets that type of feeling for their exs when they see them its nothing brand new just make sure if she says something u know out of the friendly way to put her back into reality that were just friend .Because once u let them feel like they can just say and do anything u will be the one getting hurt ... ,but just try your best to take it one step at a time

 

Remember Friendly Conversation (not saying u guys cant crack jokes about past) just dont feed into the breadcrumbs if she says any

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You have been NC for three months. Tomorrow is just another day in that three months. You might smile if eye contact is made, and make civil conversation if she initiates. Seeing her is not going to change your world because the day after the conference will be just like the day before, right?

 

Just remember to breathe, focus on the task at hand and be professional. First and foremost you are there to work. If you can take a notebook and jot down thoughts if you feel unsteady.

 

Just remember that the day wont last forever. Conferences are a finite amount of minutes. You can get through minutes.

 

Take some mints in with you. if you find the urge to talk - pop a mint.

 

Take care and be well

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Just a little smile and a nod. And then pretend you're too concentrated and busy, so you completely "forget" about her and ignore her.

 

Visualise you will see her tomorrow. Close your eyes. Visualise your reaction. The smile and the nod.

Keep breathing calmly. Do this a couple of times. You will be less stressed.

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Just a little smile and a nod. And then pretend you're too concentrated and busy, so you completely "forget" about her and ignore her.

 

Visualise you will see her tomorrow. Close your eyes. Visualise your reaction. The smile and the nod.

Keep breathing calmly. Do this a couple of times. You will be less stressed.

 

Why? Theres no need for that. OP she doesn't exist, thats your attitude.

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Why? Theres no need for that. OP she doesn't exist, thats your attitude.

 

Why? Because we're at work. A smile and a nod won't kill him. And it shows that he's "in control".

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Why? Because we're at work. A smile and a nod won't kill him. And it shows that he's "in control".

 

Yeah but remember were talking about an ex girlfriend here, who crushed his heart and caused tons of payne. NO smile needed.

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Yeah but remember were talking about an ex girlfriend here, who crushed his heart and caused tons of payne. NO smile needed.

 

Just a nod then.

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Just a nod then.

 

Maybe .... if the ex does that first.

 

 

In my experience, if you give an ex a finger they take your whole hand, meaning you loose power an bay doing just a little gesture like that you're giving them the impression that everything is ok.....that what they did its in the past....For instance my ex is dead to me, if I see her I dont even look at her and I never will.

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doing just a little gesture like that you're giving them the impression that everything is ok.....that what they did its in the past....For instance my ex is dead to me, if I see her I dont even look at her and I never will.

 

But that's the impression you want to give, no? That you're FINE without them, you have a LIFE and you have moved ON.

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Just a little smile and a nod. And then pretend you're too concentrated and busy, so you completely "forget" about her and ignore her.

 

Visualise you will see her tomorrow. Close your eyes. Visualise your reaction. The smile and the nod.

Keep breathing calmly. Do this a couple of times. You will be less stressed.

 

Good advice, roll play the situation in your head before you do it, look at it as part of a presentation that you wouid need tp practice first, as bella said take a deep breath and stay focused, you will be fine, and if she comes to speak with you be professional and relaxed as if you would with any work colleague, and try to sit at an angle where you don't have to see her it that's possible, good luck mate.

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Good advice, roll play the situation in your head before you do it, look at it as part of a presentation that you wouid need tp practice first, as bella said take a deep breath and stay focused, you will be fine, and if she comes to speak with you be professional and relaxed as if you would with any work colleague, and try to sit at an angle where you don't have to see her it that's possible, good luck mate.

 

Where are you from? Hollywood? Why make this charade, act like this, act like that, just be yourself. Just my 2 cents.

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Where are you from? Hollywood? Why make this charade, act like this, act like that, just be yourself. Just my 2 cents.

 

If you would want to be yourself, you would maybe want to attack your ex, choke her and then jump all over her body while screaming "You b*tch!!!!" Just kiddin', ofcourse. But no, you have to be prepared. Once again, you want your ex to think you're sooo cool about the situation. You don't want them to know you're a nervous mess (at least, that's not the image I would want to give).

 

Nothing to do with Hollywood. It's a known exercise. Visualise a situation till you feel like you will control it.

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If you would want to be yourself, you would maybe want to attack your ex, choke her and then jump all over her body while screaming "You b*tch!!!!" Just kiddin', ofcourse. But no, you have to be prepared. Once again, you want your ex to think you're sooo cool about the situation. You don't want them to know you're a nervous mess (at least, that's not the image I would want to give).

 

Nothing to do with Hollywood. It's a known exercise. Visualise a situation till you feel like you will control it.

 

Since I've been on LS(love shack) I've seen this situations hundreds of times...and trust me I know how it will end. Thats why Im saying IGNORE YOUR EX, she's dead to you. But, OP its up to you.

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Simon Phoenix
Why? Because we're at work. A smile and a nod won't kill him. And it shows that he's "in control".

 

There's no need to "show her" anything. That's the wrong mentality because it puts her perception above his. He needs to do what is comfortable, not what will give off the best "look". Personally, I would avoid until there's no way to, then I'd do a nod or something. But I wouldn't initiate or look to engage in that way.

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